Karma
by MerielTLA
Summary: Karma was a funny thing, loved to teach lessons in the hardest way possible, leaving us like a dog with our tail between our legs seeing the people we harmed laugh at the crappy life we had left. AU Kames Cargan
1. Chapter 1

**I'm starting two stories and school…I'm fucking crazy! But ok lets see how this goes xD (And just like the Jerk in Knight armor, Katie will be James little sister, it just works that way haha)**

**Enjoy!**

CHAPTER 1

Kendall PoV

I looked at the house rising in front of me, it was big, white and beautiful…a mansion that some years ago wouldn't have impressed me at all…not that it was impressive now, it was just that in so long I hadn't stepped in a house such like this…not sense my father died and everything was taken from me thanks to that drunk bastard…the only thing he didn't gamble were me and my mother, and I was sure that if times were different, lets say when the knights really roamed the earth…he would had done it. Right there, with no hesitation.

I was twenty one years old, no more studies than high school, a sick mother and a debt that overpowered me in a way that made me feel like an insignificant ant…if only that debt was to the bank …it would've died with my father, but no, it was a fucking debt to the wrong people, that were just waiting for me to do something stupid or get bored to make me pay for every penny I could be worth to them…I had a really real sight of my future.

I sighed and walked to the front door of the mansion…the plan was simple, get in, get a job, get trusted and steal everything you can before running away…running to fill those people's bags and kiss some asses so they would leave me and my mother in peace.

Ten years ago I was the boy that lived with people serving him…now I was going to serve some other stupid prick, because yeah I used to be a dick, a heartless bastard with my servants, didn't know what they went through every fucking day of their lives…Karma was a funny thing, loved to teach lessons in the hardest way possible, leaving us like a shameless dog with our tail between our legs.

I knocked a couple of times and waited…they had specifically said to be there at nine, so the boss wouldn't be there when I arrived…weird, but I guessed it would be fun to have an eccentric crazy rich old dude as a boss. The door opened to reveal a short guy about my age, his tanned skin and dark eyes revealing that he was one of the millions of latins working in the country…not that I had anything against them, not now at least, years ago I couldn't stand them, and to thing that one of them was the woman that showed any sign of kindness towards my mother and I when we lost everything…I tell'ya, Karma.

"Hi, I'm here for the drivers job" I said smiling hoping that I looked decent enough, I was wearing my nicest clothes and had left my beanie out of the way…I needed this so much, with my salary I was sure I could get my mother something to make things better.

"Oh you must be Kendall Knight" he smiled a very childlike smile…it was nice to see some innocence after all "Come on in, I'm Carlos and I'm the _do-it-all_ guy in here" I walked inside, yes the mansion was just as impressive from the inside "You will be Katie's driver, she's ten and you'll move her around school, tutoring, the mall…every time she goes out…"

"Wait, wait" I raised a hand in front of him so he would stop "Does this mean I have the job? Really? This easy?" I tried not to sound stunned but it was just too damn good to be truth.

"You were the only one that applied, and we researched you, you were ok in your last jobs…don't question it, just be happy" he palmed my back "Now, come on so you can see your room"

"There is one question" I scratched the back of my head "My mother's really ill, could she live here with me?" he made an unsure expression.

"I'll have to talk that with the housekeeper, she'll know" he signaled me to follow him until the back of the house where we crossed a white door "This is the servants kitchen, we eat and chat here…and sometimes the Diamonds invite us out too, they are really kind people, it nice to work here" aside from the lousy last name I hoped that what he said was truth, even so he looked to innocent and happy to be lying.

"How many of them are there?"

"There's Ms. Diamond…she's ok I guess just kind of cold with everybody, then there's James, the man of the family now that Mr. Diamond passed away and between you and me, don't freak out if you hear him fight with Ms. Diamond, they hate each other…"

"A mother that hate's her son?" I grimaced.

"The thing is, she's not his mother, James is Mr. Diamond's bastard and when he got sick he looked for him to bring him to live here and take care of business when he died…other than they there's Katie, she's really fun and a great girl…a little too smart for her age or any of us but its cool" he continued walking until he reached another door that led to a hallway "This will be your room" he opened the door and I could see that they were just as the ones my family used to have, simple, a small TV and bathroom for each, a lot like hotel rooms.

"Do they let you personalize your room?"

"Yeah, look here's mine" we moved to the next door and I had to smile at the sight of his room, it was filled with hockey posters, it was messy and something smelled weird in there…a true male room.

"Nice" I chuckled "Didn't you say something about a uniform?"

"Oh, yeah I forgot" he walked me back to my room to show me three black pants matched with three white shirts and three ties, along with black shoes.

"No driver' s hat?"

"Nope" he laughed "There used to be, but Katie said that it was stupid, so you can thank her" I nodded watching him see his watch "Well Katie will be out from school early today, so you have an hour, this time I'll go with you so you know the way but tomorrow you'll be on your own"

"Okay then…I'll need to change" I raised my eyebrow, he nodded smiling not getting what I wanted him to do "Carlos I'm not changing in front of you"

"Oh! Right, right!" he chuckled "Sorry I tend to space out a bit, I'll wait for you in the kitchen" he got out closing the door behind me. I sighed and took out my phone dialing Ms. Vazquez' number.

"Bueno?" she said.

"Amm Hi Ms. V, can I talk to my mom?" I sat on the bed and looked around, I sure hoped they let me bring my mother with me, I would sleep in the floor if it was needed.

"Sure thing mijo" I heard some movement before my mother spoke with that soft tired voice of hers.

"Hi baby, what happened?"

"Yeah, I'll be starting right now, as soon as I meet the housekeeper I'll ask her if you can come here to live with me" I blinked fast feeling tears picking in my eyes desperate to be free…I had to be strong.

"That's good baby, now go there and be a true gentleman…take care, bye"

"Bye" I hung up and took a deep breath, ever sense she had been diagnosed with cancer she was drifting away little by little every day, and soon enough I would be all alone in this shitty world…at least she wouldn't be there when I had to pay the debt. I stood up and started changing my clothes. When I was done I folded my stuff in the bed and walked out to meet Carlos, who was sitting with an old lady.

"Hey Kendall, this is Ms. Jenkins the housekeeper" I walked to shake her hand.

"Nice to meet you" I said.

"Nice to meet you too, now let's see your contract" she pulled away a piece of paper and we started discussing work, I had Monday's free, a nice salary, a Christmas bonus, right for a room and food, medical service…a great job "Tomorrow at morning you can go pick up your stuff, for tonight I'm sure Carlos can lend you something" he nodded eagerly.

"Ma'am, I was wondering" I bit my lip "Can I bring my mother to live here with me? She's sick and I have to take care of her"

"I'm afraid we don't have more rooms" she shrugged.

"N-no, we could share mine, that's not a problem…even food, I could pay for hers, I just need her to be close" I looked directly at the woman's eyes, they were soft brown.

"Ok I guess its fine with me, you just will have to tell James first" I grinned relived I really wanted to hug her "Now I must go to the kitchens, James might be here soon" she smiled before walking out.

"See pal, this is a good place" said Carlos palming my back…perhaps I could use the money I earned working to pay a tiny part of my father's debt, this looked like the perfect job…that or I could wait for my mother to die to steal my way our of here…sadistic I know, but I had to stay in touch with reality, if I lost my footing I would be lost in the blink of an eye, life was bitchy like that.

Half an hour of hockey talking later, we were inside a nice black Cadillac in the way to Katie's school…man I had never driven a car like this and it felt like heaven. Carlos was nice to keep company, his never ending chatter and happiness was contagious, I found myself smiling a heck lot more than I had smiled in the last ten years.

"Here we are" he said as I parked outside an old looking building, girls and boys in uniform were walking out of the big wooden gates…private school for rich kids, I wish I wasn't this familiar to those kinds of schools "And there's Katie" he signaled a girl, she was kind of small, thin, long brown hair and for what I could see big brown eyes, she was walking and texting furiously but put her phone down as soon as she got close to the car, I moved to go and open her door but Carlos stopped me "She doesn't like it, I'm pretty sure that the moment she turns sixteen, there wont be a driver at all for her…hey Katie!" he turned to look at the back when she was inside.

"Hi!" she moved close to give him a close "Who are you?" she turned to me.

"I'm Kendall Knight, your new driver" I smiled when she offered her hand and I shook it.

"Nice to meet you, I'm Katie"

"My pleasure, now seatbelts please" they did as I said and I began the drive back home.

The way back was also fun, she kept asking millions of questions about my likes and dislikes, I answered as many as I could, when something became uncomfortable Carlos would save my ass by saying something stupid making us laugh…I didn't know if that was planned or just to get away of the awkward moment but it really helped a lot. When we reached the house I noticed a _FREAKING LAMBORGHINI MURCIELAGO_ outside…it was safe to say that I almost peed my pants in excitement.

"That's James' car" chuckled Carlos "I was just like that when he bought it…damn such an awesome car!"

"Yeah, I'm going to force him to teach me how to drive to take it from him" grinned Katie before walking back to the house "You haven't meet James, right?"

"Nope…how is he?"  
>"He's cool" smiled Carlos "He lets jus call him by his name which is cool, he doesn't mistreat us at all…he lets me into the pool every once in a while…you know, a lay back kind of guy, like Katie"<p>

"Wow, I love this job even more"

"James!" screamed Katie running to the big snail stairs where the most beautiful guy I had ever seen was standing…he was taller than me, probably by an inch or two, he had tanned skin, brown _awesome_ hair, and his hazel eyes shined like stars when his strong arms hugged his sister. He was wearing a white shirt and grey pants, probably just back from the office…man I had to make myself blink and close my mouth…being gay in a house owned by that dude was going to be hard.

"Hey! How was school?" he kneeled to be a little more eye level with her, his voice was strong and soft at the same time…_damn_.

"Boring as usual, teachers are too stupid for their own good" she shrugged "And work?"

"Earned a couple of more millions" he winked and I could swear, that was the sexiest thing I had ever seen…man my pants started to feel a little tight…_dead puppies! Think of the debt!_ Yes now things were back to normal…until he turned those hazel eyes to me "Hey there, who are you?"

"He's Kendall Knight, the new driver" said Carlos…God bless him cuz I was sure my voice had disappeared…what was wrong with me?

"Oh" I swallowed when his eyes turned cold as ice before looking at me from head to toe "I guess you'll do" he shrugged…_excuse me? Thank you for the ego breaker!_ "Mr. Knight will you please come to my office" he started walking not waiting for me, I shook my head and followed him completely in trance thanks for his broad shoulders, damn even with the shirt I could see his muscled back. He got inside still not waiting for me, his office was nice, modern and cold, at least this time he had the kindness to ask me to sit in one of with chairs with a sigh with his hand "These are the rules, you will address me as Mr. Diamond and Mr. Diamond only, I will tell you when I will require your services in short notice so you must be available at all times, sometimes is for taking me to places, sometimes is for do some assignments, Katie…I'm sure she'll slap you if you don't call her by her name but if I ever hear or see you disrespecting her you're out…my stepmother wont be here for a month, but when she comes back you will be at her service also unless I tell you otherwise…the pool, gym or spa of the mansion are off limits and if I see you using any of those you will be fired immediately...any questions?"

"Just one" he raised his eyebrow "My mother is sick, I was wondering if she can come and live with me, the both of us in one room and I'll pay for…"

"No, the rooms are for employees only, this is not a charity case, if she's sick send her to a health institution…now if you excuse me I have work to do" he started looking into some papers…_bastard_.

"Thank you for your time" I said trying hard not to kick him, yeah so much for the caring and lay back boss…I just hoped that the guy warmed up with time.

James PoV

Kendall Knight…wow life really loved me. The guy I used to be in love with, my own personal bully was now at my service twenty four hours six days a week…_ah Kendall, Kendall_…I'll make you learn that karma's a bitch…slow, hard and painful…just like all those times you decided to torture the poor awkward idiot that lived with your housekeeper.

"Bastard…even with nothing in your pockets you're still the hottest guy I've ever seen" I grinned to myself thinking of his dirty blond hair, his emerald eyes, his pale skin and the slim body he still portrayed…I wanted him, and according to the way I felt him look at me…I would get him sooner than later.

**Okay, I wrote this in an hour, not sure how it turned out but I do know where I'm headed so don't worry about that haha, what do you think? Love it? Hate it? Reviews?**


	2. Chapter 2

**Okay o.o this was liked hahaha thank you for all the reviews, faves and alerts! You guys are the fuel of my writing and I love ya!**

**Enjoy!**

CHAPTER 2

Kendall PoV

I yawned raising my arms above my head stretching my muscles…I was so tired I could just sleep there in the floor and don't wake up until I had slept at least three days. I had been working for over a week now and I had found out the reason _why_ the job looked so pretty and appealing…it was a fucking _nightmare_! I had to wake up in the middle of the night to run to the office and fax some papers for the foreign clients…I didn't have any idea of what did the Diamonds do exactly nor cared about it but damn it was awfully hard, just like now, freaking four am on Saturday I was here at the office delivering the papers as my dear boss slept his ass out in his comfy bed…bastard.

Within that week I had left my nails permanently scared in my fists for all the times _Mr. Diamond _had made me dwell in rage for his fucking assignments or some invented misbehaves…seriously it was like he plotted to make me look bad and then have his fun making me sweat like shit thinking that it was the last time, that he would throw me out and that I would find myself helpless and lost again…I could not lose this job, it had proven to be helpful just two days ago when my mother had been sick and thanks to the health program they had me in, she was well attended and got home sane and _alive_. The minute she called me from Ms. Velazquez phone I almost fainted in relief. When everything was done I put on my jacket and walked out of the huge building.

"Morning Kendall" said the doorman.

"Morning Mr. Summers" I waved before getting inside the car and heading back to the house, I was glad that had taken only fifteen minutes, that way I could go back and sleep at least another three hours before I had to take Katie to her ballet lessons. It was relaxing driving like this, finding the streets of L.A. deserted and peaceful was like a snowflake in there…just really, _really_ rare. I reached the house, closed the car and walked inside through the service door, got inside my room, stripped leaving my uniform carefully folded –the bastard made me use it at this hour even if no one would be there to see me with it- put my pajamas on and bumped inside the bed closing my eyes right away falling asleep almost instantly having the feeling that I might had forgotten something but I was too tired to care.

"Kendall! Kendall!" I opened my eyes finding Katie frantically moving me.

"W-wha…? What are you doing here?" I shook my head trying to get out of my slumber.

"It´s late! Dress fast we can still make it!"

"Shit!" I practically jumped out of bed seeing my phone in the night table, the fucking alarm! I had forgotten the fucking alarm! And it was freakishly late! "Come on I don't have time to change" I put my vans on, my jacket and hurried the girl out, she ran through the back door I quickly following her taking in the glare Ms. Jenkins was sending me…I knew I could lose my job for this, not need to remind me. We got inside the car and I drove her to school trying with all my strength to not push my foot and hit gas…yeah I didn't want any speeding tickets either, that would be really pretty to show _Mr. Diamond _before he kicked me out "Go!" I told Katie once we reached the school just in time, I watched her run to her friends taking deep breaths…I just hoped James wasn't up yet, that way I could convince the housekeeper to cover for me this time. I sighed and drove back to the mansion, only to see James Diamond standing in the doorway with all his _just-got-out-of-bed-to-kill-you _glory glaring at me…_beautiful_.

"Over sleeping Mr. Knight, my sister won´t fail her perfect attendance just because you like to sleep" he started…so far he didn't sound like he was firing me, just clearly mad and annoyed, yeah if I was woken up on Saturday at nine am just because someone messed up I would be pissed too.

"I´m sorry Mr. Diamond, I forgot to set the alarm clock" I looked at him in the eye daring his hazel eyes to fire me for a simple mistake…his gaze stood thoughtful until he rolled his eyes.

"I will let this one go, but I want you to clean all the cars inside and out, Ms. Jenkins will give you the supplies you need" his voice turned soft, maybe the guy would warm up in the end "But first help Carlos with the back yard, I´m having some friends over and this place must look presentable, now go put on your uniform" said this he turned to leave.

"Thank you" I spoke, he stopped moving "It won´t happen again Sr." he just nodded and left. Once he was out of sight I sighed letting my knees give in sitting on the ground…_a cheer for the Diamond's pity_.

"Is the scare out yet?" asked Carlos' amused voice, I chuckled and nodded before taking his hand to get up.

"Apparently all I have to do is help you clean the backyard and wash the cars for punishment" I wasn't sure that was on my duty list but I was not about to go and complain…until I saw Carlos' pained expression "What?"

"Do you think that they only have two cars?" he signaled the Lamborghini and the Cadillac.

"No, I figured they had about…five?" he laughed before pulling me to a door I hadn't crossed before.

"This is the basement" he explained opening the door and getting in, I followed him "Mr. Diamond was a really rich guy, I think he was once named the fiftieth most rich guy in the world" I frowned that didn't look that fancy, and in the house there was only the cook, two maids, the housekeeper, Carlos and I…not the staff one could hope for a guy with that much money.

"Yeah I think that was a…" I stopped talking when Carlos turned on a switch and the basement appeared before my eyes.

"Of course, instead of banks Mr. Diamond guarded his money in cars" inside that basement –about the size of a football field- there were over seventy cars: classics, new, luxury and sport.

"Fuck" I breathed completely overwhelmed as we made our way through them "A 63' Corvette Stingray" I spoke almost in worship, when I was little I had developed a small obsession with collectable car miniatures, and never in my life I had thought that I would see those cars in real life, not even when I thought I had all the money in the world "And the 2011 one!" I covered my mouth in awe seeing the two cars next to each other, one was full length classic and the other was the epitome of modernity…fuck.

"Kendall! Kendall!" I blinked when Carlos started waving his hands in front of me smiling wide "Don't stop breathing buddy…so you'll have to clean eighty seven cars…yeah I don't think James was happy with you oversleeping…sorry" he patted my back.

"Are you kidding me? I will get to touch and sit inside these cars! Y-yeah it will take a lot of effort but it will be worth it" I looked around with a grin so big that my cheeks had began to hurt.

"Okay!" he said cheerfully "But first help me before James' friends get here" he pulled me out of that heaven into reality, and by that I meant pulled me out of the basement and to the backyard. He was supposed to put some big slashes of white fabric up to cover the sun from the people. I ran to get in my uniform pulling the sleeves to my elbows and started helping him…today was going to be a long day.

James PoV

I moaned tugging the sheets under my fingers with one hand as the other traveled down to grasp the soft blond hair of my newest conquest as his head bumped sucking me skillfully…_whores_, nothing personal and all the slutty skill to make a great night and for some, a nice morning. I groaned pulling him to meet my hungry lips in a sloppy kiss before I turned our bodies and dived hard inside him smirking at the pained whine he emitted, he was tight and it felt awesomely good. I pounded hard occasionally biting the soft skin of his neck only looking for my own release. Moments later I came with my head against his shoulder, as soon as I had enough strength to move I pulled my softening cock out of him and laid on the other side of the bed breathing deeply.

"Good job" I offered the whore prior tossing him the money "Now get out" I heard a small unbelieving sound before he moved up and started changing.

"My pleasure" he said finishing and walking out "Dick" I head his mutter making me smile, he wasn't as whiny when I was inside of him. When he closed the door I decided to go and check the backyard so I walked to a quick shower before changing in some sweats and a tee and going down.

"Morning Ms. Jenkins" I smiled noticing her disapproving look.

"Morning James…hungry?" she raised her eyebrow.

"Oh you know I am" and also knew that the guy that had exited the house some minutes ago was a whore but she knew that if she decided to say something about it I wouldn't hesitate to send her to the streets…maybe I could be nice to them and grant them some stuff, but they knew better than to try to nose inside my personal life "Take it to the garden" I walked to the back yard finding Carlos and Kendall laughing…he shouldn't be laughing, he should be taking a bitch fit for having to clean almost a hundred cars, for having to help the labor boy when clearly it wasn't his job to do it, also they were sitting in the grass chatting, like they didn't have work to do…I did not accept laziness in my staff, not even from a rich guy that probably didn't know what responsibility was…I didn't even knew why he was working there, he probably had over expended his daddy money and was now taking a lesson or something…I didn't give a fuck I just wanted to enjoy this.

"Nah I remember one time when…" he stopped when I sounded my throat, the both turned to look at me, Carlos grinning and Kendall with a hint of fear in his eyes…did he think that every time I found him doing something wrong I would fire him? If that was the case Carlos would have been out sense the first minute he was in there and broke some of Brooke's vases.

"What do you think?" asked Carlos lifting his arms showing me the place, I looked around yeah it looked pretty good.

"Good job" I turned to glare at Kendall "I remember I told you to clean the cars not chat with Carlos"

"Sorry, we just finished, I'll go just now" he grinned widely confusing me for a second before he practically ran to the basement.

"Remember the cleaning supplies are next to the entrance in a storage room!" yelled Carlos and Kendall waved not turning around as he kept running.

"Why does he seem excited over cleaning a bunch of cars?" I said amused in spite myself.

"He's a car freak, he said he used to have a car collection but he had to sell it for the money" I frowned…_what?_ That didn't sound like the Kendall I remembered at all.

"This place looks nice!" I turned to smile at my best friend as he made his entrance, Logan Mitchell my old college roommate.

"Why are you here so early?" I noticed how Carlos turned completely red looking at my friend like he always did when he was around, like a walking angel, I couldn't blame him for having a crush on Logan, he was quite a looker, short black hair, white skin and big chocolate eyes…not my type but he was pretty enough.

"I'm here just cuz I have nothing better to do, having a break from the hospital has left me with no life" he grinned before his eyes went down to Carlos changing his smile for a grimace "You, bring me something to drink" he commanded, I didn't like the way he talked to Carlos but I overlooked it this time, Logan wasn't harsh with people, maybe he was having a bad morning.

"Come on" I showed him the way to some tables where the maid was putting on my breakfast while Carlos hurriedly went to fetch the drink.

"And how was last night?" he asked with a distracted air around him, I grimaced; last night I had gone to a found raiser dinner, a bunch of rich people faking, acting like they cared about the world around them when we all knew it was just for show.

"I went for a whore after it" I grinned and he laughed rolling his eyes as Carlos walked close to him –still completely blushed- with a lemonade jar in hand…until he missed his footing and fell down, the jar shattered in a big crash sending the liquid right to Logan's pants.

"FUCK!" yelled my friend standing up I couldn't help but laugh, I was used to Carlos clumsiness when it came to this kind of stuff, for that simple reason he was the labor boy and he was forbidden to help the maids unless I asked him to "Idiot!" Logan turned to Carlos, who was holding his bloody hand against his chest and looking at Logan apologetically.

"I'm s-sorry Mr. Mitchell"

"You're sorry? These are expensive pants! And I'm sure they're ruined by now! You're an idiot! A person so stupid that can't even walk right!" I stopped laughing looking at the latino open and close his mouth trying to say something else that wasn't _sorry_, but to no avail "James should fire your stupid ass! I bet you can't even read! Mexican idiot!"

"Logan shut up" I growled standing up "Carlos go back to the kitchen and ask Ms. Jenkins to look at your hand" he nodded and hurried inside the house "Logan, what's wrong with you? I will not allow you to insult anybody like that" I rested my hands on the table, Logan kept the rage inside his eyes before he took one of the chairs and threw it to the ground effectively breaking it.

"FUCKING BITCH!" he yelled kicking the table, just because I saw his teary eyes I let him destroy everything he could while he screamed insults to the air. A couple of minutes later he let himself to the ground and began sobbing against his knees. I sighed and walked to sit next to him embracing him with my arm "The bitch cheated on me" he put his hand on his pocket before taking it out and showing me Camille's promise ring "With the labor boy" oh that explained why he canalized all that to poor Carlos.

"I never really liked her" I spoke rubbing his back "I know it hurts, but maybe it was for the best, Logan we both know you deserve better"

"But I love her" he passed his hand through his face in a tired way "I knew you would be up early, I couldn't sleep at all last night and I didn't want to go and mope at a bar…I'm not that pathetic"

"Take one of the guests rooms, go to sleep while the maids fix your pants, then we'll talk when you feel better" I got up and offered him my hand, he took it and sighed.

"I found her in our bed" he talked bitterly making me grimace "I can't even get inside my own room" he fisted his hands, the rage getting back to his eyes.

"Hey, you know you can stay here all the time you need…"

"Won't Katie or your mother mind?"

"First of all this is my house, second Katie loves you and third, Brook is not here and if she was she doesn't have a say against me…and she's not my mother" I pushed him to the house "Go I'll take care of this" he nodded and dragged himself upstairs, I bit my lip hating the way his shoulders were down and his body simply looked lifeless…the bitch didn't know what she was missing. I shook my head and called the maids to help me clean up the mess he left behind thinking that it was better to leave Carlos alone for a moment. When we were done I started to get worried because normally Carlos was all up for helping so I went to the kitchen looking for him…he wasn't there, frowning I walked to his room and stopped death when I heard some faint sobbing and Spanish courses I knew only from the people my mother used to know…not the kind of words I ever thought I could hear from the hyper latin. I turned the lock and peeked inside, Carlos was sitting on his bed, his legs folded and on top of them a book, he was crying silently glaring at the book with so much force that I wouldn't be surprised if it suddenly exploded.

"Hey buddy" I said softly, he jumped closing the book and cleaning his eyes right away "Are you ok?" he nodded.

"Is Mr. Mitchell still mad at me for being so stupid?" he mumbled.

"You're not stupid Carlos" I walked and sat next to him in the bed, he was the first friend I made when I got inside that nuthouse and I cared about him deeply.

"I am…h-he's right, I can't even read!" he threw the book to the wall prior hugging his knees sobbing harder "An idiot, stupid…stupid" I blinked, I never knew that.

"Why didn't you tell me?" he shrugged "Carlos…"

"James you were in high school! About to get into a fancy college, h-how could I tell you that I don't even know how to read!" he turned his head in shame.

"Do you know how to do it in Spanish?" he nodded "Then you don't have to feel bad, no one taught you the language, that doesn't mean you're stupid" I put my arm around his shoulders, apparently today was all bout comforting friends "You know, maybe I can hire someone to teach you" he blinked before shaking his head.

"No, no you do enough giving me a job and a place to stay" he was stubborn, I knew that I wouldn't be able to convince him, at least not today…I knew how much it hurt that the person you had a crush on decided to kick you in the gut with everything he could…speaking of Kendall…maybe I could get him to help me with this "Cheer up, Katie will be here soon and I guess it would be nice to take her to the fair while I have the boring business people here" and like I expected his face started to light up "Yes, you and Kendall will be taking her"

"But the cars…"

"Will be there tomorrow" I got up and frowned when I saw him giving me a weird look.

"Why do you treat Kendall like that?" yeah I knew this question would be up sooner or later.

"I don't like him" said this I opened the door and walked out, I took a breath before going to the basement. When I was there I looked around until I spotted him next to an old looking car…they were never my thing, I hadn't inherit my father's love for them. I walked silently noticing the way his hand glided carefully through the car with a dry rag, his eyes were shining and his lips curved in a lazy smile, then he stretched himself folding his body giving me a front row view of that nice ass of his. Smirking I walked until I was just behind him, when he stood again we were just half a foot apart from each other "Having fun?" he jumped surprised before turning to look at me.

"J-James…" he breathed, damn my name sounded too good when he said it like that but I raised my eyebrow reminding him about that rule "Sorry, Mr. Diamond…you scared me" he took a step back, I took a step closer finally trapping him between the car and me not loosing the closeness. His body was glowing with a faint cape of sweat, he wasn't using his tie and his shirt had two buttons open revealing his tasty neck. His chest rose trying to regain his breath…or so I thought until I saw his Addams apple move when he clearly swallowed, my eyes travelled from his neck to his jaw, his parted lips and finally his emerald eyes…that were darker than usual also looking at my own…I could kiss him right there and I knew he would kiss me back, I knew he wanted to kiss me, the same fat kid he used to make fun at, saying that no one would like to even touch him for being so gross…but I didn't, I took a step back breaking a little part of the clear tension between us.

"Don't be so jumpy" I smirked, he shook his head before showing a small smile "I have a job offer for you" he frowned.

"Do you realize that I'm already working for you?" he said clearly lost making me chuckle.

"I want you to teach Carlos how to read and write" his eyes widened.

"He can't?" I nodded expecting him asking for a raise or a bonus for doing it but he started nodding instead "I'll do it…but I might need some old notebooks or something to do it" he shrugged, I frowned.

"You don't even know how much…"

"I don't need more money…I'll do it because he's my friend just…" he trailed off before biting his lip "The only thing I ask is…c-could you at least think a little more about letting my mother live here with me?" I shook my head taken back…that was_ not_ expected! "Okay" he spoke softly taking my action as a negative before sounding his throat "Anything else?"

"N-no, keep working I want this finished as soon as possible and you'll take Carlos and Katie to the fair later" he nodded before turning back to work. I passed a hand through my face, before walking out of the place…was it possible that Kendall had changed in all of those years?

**Hey, hey don't be fooled, the drama hasn't even started yet xD First Kames moment and some sort of hint of Cargan…what did you think?**

**Aww tomorrow first day of school! Let's see how that goes haha**

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	3. Chapter 3

**God school is hard! Damn getting up at 5:30 it's inhuman I tell ya!**

**Okay so time for an update xD hoping to have enough time away from homework and tiredness lol**

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**Enjoy!**

CHAPTER 3

Kendall PoV

Washing cars with a boner was no fun.

I sighed standing up before I started to take slow breath intakes…I had to get a hold of myself, I couldn't go inside the house to get Katie and Carlos having a painful boner triggered by _Mr. Diamond_…fuck why was he so damn sexy? Why did he have to look at me with those eyes? Why the fuck didn't he fucking kiss me? Ok that was not something I should be thinking about my boss but damn, now the cars didn't even seem all that great.

"Snap out of it" I mumbled passing a hand through my face. I took one last breath, gathered the cleaning supplies and walked back to the entrance…after ten cars I was completely beaten, and I still had sixty more to go…man, my arms would fall off before I could get near the last car. I put the stuff inside the storage room and exited the place locking after I was out. I stretched my sore muscles before walking to the back door, it was nice to think about spending the rest of the day at the fair and even better to know that tomorrow was my free day and I could go and visit my mother, God I missed her so much. I walked inside the house noticing the growing list of people at the backyard, James did know how to throw a party…I wondered what _other things_ he could do…_no! Don't think about that Kendall!_ I shook my head and walked to my room; Ms. Jenkins had picked up Katie from her class and she told me that James let me use my normal clothes for this evening, probably to not raise much attention to Katie, I was fine with that, I just needed to get my bag ready for the morning…I would be out as soon as the Sun rose to spend all the time I could with my mother.

"Are you done yet?" asked Katie as soon as I entered the kitchen, she was leaning above the island right next to a down looking Carlos…that was weird, in the morning he looked happy as usual.

"Just let me take a shower and then we'll go" she nodded vigorously and Carlos kept looking at his hands…ok as soon as she was distracted I would talk to him. I went to my room and showered fast, when I was out I decided to wear simple black skinny jeans, my red tee, a gray hoodie…and my beanie given that I hadn't used it in over a week, my head started to feel cold. When I was ready I went to the kitchen finding Carlos alone with his forehead pressed to the table.

"What's up with you?" I asked him palming his back.

"…Nothing" I rolled my eyes, he seriously sounded like a little kid…I grimaced thinking that this had something to do with my new assignment.

"James asked me a favor…" I commented lightly turning to rest my hips on the island.

"He ordered you to teach me how to read?" he said with a bitter tone not moving from his spot "Don't bother, I'm stupid and nothing's going to fix it" I blinked and then frowned hating his tone completely.

"No you're not, and I don't care if you don't want to, I'm going to teach you" I crossed my arms glaring at him for thinking this way "What made you think that?" I was witness of some mayor blushing before he put his hands on his face.

"Mr. Mitchell told me" yeah I had no idea who that was but I disliked him already.

"Well he's the idiot"

"No he's not" Carlos moved his hands away just to look at me and shake his head fervently "He's super smart, he's a doctor and James' best friend…if someone knows that I'm stupid it's him…" I narrowed my eyes seeing this eyes shining as he spoke of the guy, like he was some sort of God…_oh crap_, he had a crush on him.

"Ready?" asked Katie emerging from the door, we nodded before walking inside the house thinking that it was better to get out by the front door.

Carlos PoV

We were passing right next to the stairs when I saw _him_ walking emerging from James' office…he was so beautiful, his white shirt hugging him just right, his pale skin and his big chocolate eyes. I stopped dry not wanting him to see me, I wanted to run away, he didn't need to see the stupid labor boy again; I would probably screw things up like every time he was around.

"Hey…" said Kendall looking at me, he narrowed his eyes before turning to glare at Mr. Mitchell, I only knew Kendall for some days but he could already see right through me "That's him?" he asked in a really pissed whisper. I opened and closed my mouth when _he_ finally acknowledged us stopping his walk, Kendall sensed him behind him and turned with an angry expression on his face "Are you _Mr. Mitchell_?" he sneered.

"Logan Mitchell, yes" he nodded in his very respectful way narrowing his eyes confused by Kendall's hostility but didn't make a comment out of it…he was a classy person, someone I was sure could never look at me twice.

"You are an ass…an idiot" at this Mr. Mitchell finally frowned.

"Why are you insulting me? I haven't done anything to…"

"And did he do something?" spoke Kendall pointing at me, I froze in my place terrified…what was he doing? I had thrown lemonade at him! Of course I deserved his insults. Feeling my whole body blush I turned to look at my shoes "I don't care if you're Diamond's best friend, you don't go insulting my friends or I swear I'll beat the crap out of you" said this Kendall dragged me out followed closely by a mad looking Katie. We hoped inside the car and just then I snapped out of my haze turning to glare at Kendall as he drove us to the fair.

"Why did you do that? Are you crazy! He's James' best friend! He's gonna get you fired for talking at him like that!"

"No…James asked me to help you and I saw that he cares about you, so I'm sure he wont care that I put Logan into place" I blinked Kendall talked about them like he knew them sense forever…for me they had always been a little intimidating, having all the money they could spend, having fancy education and expensive clothes…it was a lot compared to what I had.

"How are you so sure? You hadn't met Mr. Mitchell until now and you barely have spoken to James at all…"

"James…if he didn't care about you he wouldn't have asked me to help you and Logan…I know his type" he shrugged before looking through the mirror at Katie "You know him better, is he always like this?"

"Not really" she shook her head "James told me his fiancée cheated on him, he was hurt and he'll be staying here for a while" I tried not to groan…how was I supposed to do my job with him around? "What is Kendall going to help you with?" she asked. I looked down blushing harder, luckily Kendall noticed my discomfort.

"Stuff Katie" he sighed and turned on the music, I could feel Katie's glare on my back I knew I was acting weird, normally I hated being sad, my mami had taught me that when one was sad, all we had to do was take the effort to smile and sadness would move away eventually, that advice had served me enough during my life in the US…until now, where I felt like a worthless piece of trash. I didn't have more time to feel sorry for myself because we reached our destination. Kendall parked the car and we went out, Katie ran to the small posts to try to win stuffed animals…which she probably would.

"You never learned to read or write?" asked the blond as we sat in a bench and watched Katie shoot some ducks like a sniper.

"I know Spanish, but I could never learn in English. My papi and I came here when I was thirteen… I hardly knew how to speak the language, we focused on working, we had to send money home…I didn't enroll in school, I thought that I could do some night school later on…we started working on gardens and eventually we ended up with Mr. Diamond because my dad knew a lot about cars, I just helped him and around the house like I do now…until the police took away my dad" I looked down trying to forget those horrible months "Mr. Diamond let me stay here…we didn't know anything about him…about four months later my mom called telling me that he had been deported back to Mexico…he was badly injured, the policemen beat him pretty badly…I'm the youngest son, he was almost fifty when they got him" I swallowed feeling the tears trying to get away, I loved chatting to people but telling my life story was a lot harder, but somehow I trusted Kendall and I wanted him to know "He died a couple of months later…my older brothers help my mami back home and I send all the money I can earn here…I didn't have time to study anything"

"Fuck" he whispered passing a hand through his face before giving me a one arm hug "I'm sorry" he sighed before looking at Katie who was still shooting…part of me thought that she was just giving us time to talk "I used to be rich…as in having a mansion rich" I blinked stunned at his words "I was a prick, an ass to everybody…I felt like I owned the world" he smiled sarcastically "Until my father got killed in a accident, and the insurance let us know that he was broke, that only that money could pay all his bills…we lost everything…my mother wasn't a rich born so she quickly got herself together and began working to take food home" he bit his lip "The first year wasn't all that bad, we could keep some money, we bought a small house, I got transferred to public school and the friends we used to have stopped talking to us…in later years we found out my mother had leukemia we had to sell the house to pay for her first treatment…not that she's gotten anymore chemo after that…one of our old maids took pity on us and let us stay at her home…I started working in everything that I could" he chuckled "Of course at first was hard…I had no idea of anything…I was only good for hockey and I had to learn to help my mother…at least you are a handy person, I'm not" I moved my arm so now I was the one hugging him.

"So we're both poor hard working guys…I tell you what, I hate that you have to work extra to show me how to read, but I really want to learn…I don't like to feel stupid" and maybe like that Mr. Mitchell would notice me "…so, tell you what, you teach me and I show you everything I know about cars and handy stuff" he smiled widely.

"I would love to know more about cars than just the model and how to drive them" he nodded before he got up "Now that we have a deal, its time to have some fun because starting Monday, you start school mister" I laughed following his actions, we both walked to Katie who had a huge teddy bear on her tiny arms.

"Are you done being all mopey?" I nodded before my eyes caught a little cart at my side.

"CORNDOGS!"

Kendall PoV

Somewhere life is good, and things go as they should  
>it's hard to find, but that's alright yeah<br>Searching for the way, push harder everyday  
>It's deep inside, that shining light yeah<br>But I'm scarred, by barriers placed in my path  
>I'm scathed<p>

This ride that takes me through life  
>Leads me into darkness but emerges into light<br>No one can ever slow me down  
>I'll stay unbound<p>

I mouthed the lyrics of my favorite song Unbound by Avenged Sevenfold thinking that no matter how many times I've heard it, it would always give me strength to keep going thinking that I had to work and hopefully one day things would be better…I didn't know when nor how but as they said, hope was the last to die.

I was currently at the bus in my almost two hour trip to meet my mother. First free day, a whole Sunday with my mom and it was an understatement to say that I was beaming to see her. I hadn't had the chance to see her when she was at the hospital and Ms. Vazquez had been a little too cryptic about her condition, I knew she wouldn't be alright, but at least she was alive and for me that was a big improvement.

Sometimes when we're young, and always on the run  
>It gets so dark and I know that place yeah<br>So don't be too concerned, you've got a lot to learn  
>Well so do I and we've got plenty of time yeah<br>Don't fall off the track yet with so many races to go  
>Hold on <p>

I was tired and sleepy, last night we had been at the fair until midnight having a really good time. For once in a long time I forgot about my problems and just had fun with Carlos and Katie, eating corndogs and cotton candy…I could guess I'll had to thank James for that one…at least I had a fun tale to tell my mom apart form my usual duties.

Some live so wrong, with what we do is each his own  
>But living in fear, endless shame for countless years<br>I never lived in fear I knew I'd die another day  
>I never viewed my life as something... slipping away<p>

There's nothing here to take for granted  
>with each breath that we take<br>the hands of time strip youth from our bodies  
>And we fade<br>memories remain  
>as time goes on<p>

After playing almost my whole avenged sevenfold playlist I reached my stop. I got out and walked the five remaining blocks until I saw the humble Vazquez home. I hated not living with my mother, but with a heartless –sexy- prick as a boss I had to hold on and try to get used to the idea of only seeing her once a week. Fortunately the payment was good enough to help me fight the urge.

"Mr. Vazquez!" I waved at the man when I reached the house, he smiled before walking to open the fence and shaking my hand.

"It's nice to see you" he spoke with his marked accent "Get inside, I'll call Luz" his face fell and a knot appeared on my stomach as I walked inside the house. I sat awkwardly on one of the couches until I saw Ms. Vazquez walking with a sad smile on her face.

"Hi Kendall" I got up and she hugged me strongly and I felt the know twisting "Sit I need to talk to you before you see your mom" I nodded unable to speak and did as she asked, she moved one chair and sat in front of me "Kendall…the doctor's said she only has two months tops" my throat started closing "She isn't capable to get up from bed…she's conscious which is good…three days ago when she was hospitalized she was really confused…she didn't know what year it was, or where she was…the doctors said it was a symptom of terminal cancer" she took my shaking hand "I think that you have to prepare yourself because giving her that much time was just too optimistic" she moved to sit next to me and started caressing my back in a rolling motion…I was in shock…I knew that she didn't have much time, but I had never realized that a little part of me wanted to hope that one day she would be cured, that she would be there for me…I focused on bringing air inside my lungs and stopping the tears that threatened to fall…she was not going to see me as a mess…I needed her to see me strong, to be her rock.

"W-where is she?" I asked in a raspy voice getting up.

"In her room" I nodded before slowly making my way to the room, I took a deep breath before opening the door. When I saw her sleeping on the bed my heart cracked but I could manage to keep a calm façade. I walked to her side sitting on the bed before caressing her hand.

"M-mom" I sounded my throat hating that I couldn't speak properly. She stirred in her sleep before I saw her eyes blink, I knew she wouldn't be mad for waking her, I could make her sleep later but I needed to chat to her for at least a couple of minutes…I had to take all the time I could get.

"Hey baby" she whispered so low I could barely hear her, I felt her hand move and I realized she wanted to grasp it but she was so weak that I hardly felt her "I missed you"

"Me too mom" I pulled her hand to kiss her knuckles "How are you feeling?"

"I'm just tired baby, but I'm better now that you're here" she smiled and my heart broke yet again…she had a pink beanie on her bold head, one that I had given her a long time ago, her skin was ghostly pale and looked lifeless, just like her eyes "Tell me, how's work?"

"Nice…well aside that my boss is a douche" she chuckled at this "Well…he is also super hot" she raised her eyebrow, normally I didn't talk to her about guys because I never had the time or was in the mood to meet anybody like that "I think he's a couple of years older than me, he has brown hair, tanned skin and amazing hazel eyes" she narrowed her eyes and I instantly knew what she was thinking "No mom I'm not planning on sleeping whim him, at all, I have enough to take care of to add a crazy boss too…I'm just saying that he's nice to watch"

"You better…you should be saving to get in community college…at least soon enough you wont have to worry about me" I felt my insides twist at her words.

"Don't say that" I spoke in a strangled voice trying with all my being not to cry.

"We have to accept that son" she untangled her hand from mine to caress my cheek "The only thing I regret is not being able to look at you settle down, find a good young man and be happy with him" I avoided her gaze knowing that I was ages from that.

"Y-you need to sleep" I said noticing her fatigue.

"I want to be with you" she whined making me smile "Come here" she opened her arm and I laid next to her letting my head on her shoulder sighing when she began caressing my hair "Promise me that you'll try to be happy" she whispered. I closed my eyes hoping that I could keep that promise, but we both knew that we still owned some big bucks and sooner or later they would come to charge me…or kill me if I didn't have a thing to give them.

"I'll try" I moved my head up finding her asleep, I closed my eyes hugging her fragile body thinking that at least she would soon be at peace, and that simple thought kept me from breaking to pieces right there under her embrace.

**So, what did you guys think? Review?**

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	4. Chapter 4

**My life sucks ass right now…damn it! Just when I thought things would be alright they get all fucked up again…life right? **

**Oh well, at least I have my trusted Kames with me.**

**Thank you soooo much for your reviews people! This is a not too long chapter but I can guess its rather important xD let me know.**

CHAPTER 4

Kendall PoV

"Could you sing to me baby?" I was brought back from my slumber by my mother's words, I knew what she wanted me to sing, it was a song that she had written for me years ago, that somehow now was the other way around. I swallowed before starting singing softly.

Slowly fading away  
>You're lost and so afraid<br>Where is the hope in a world so cold  
>Looking for a distant light<br>Someone who could save a life  
>You're living in fear that no one will hear your cries<br>Can you save me now

I am with you  
>I will carry you through it all<br>I won't leave you I will catch you  
>When you feel like letting go<br>Cause your not, your not alone

I felt her body shake at my words, I swallowed the huge lump in my throat before continuing with the song.

And I'll be your hope when you feel like its over  
>And I will pick you up when your whole world shatters<br>And when you're finally in my arms  
>Look up and see love has a face<p>

I am with you  
>I will carry you through it all<br>I won't leave you I will catch you  
>When you feel like letting go<br>Cause you're not, you're not alone

And I will be your hope  
>And I will pick you up<br>And I will be your hope  
>And I will be your hope<p>

"I'm supposed to be the one taking care of you" she whispered, I felt some moisture in my head where she was resting her chin, I didn't dare to took up at her crying eyes because I knew that I wouldn't be able to hold it together.

"My dad was an idiot for not taking proper care of you, but I will" I began playing with her hands "You need me mom, I can take care of myself"

"I'm s-sorry" when the first real sob shook her body I closed my eyes burying my face on her chest.

"It's not your fault that you're sick" _don't cry Kendall! Don't you dare cry!_ "I have to go" I said looking at my phone.

"Ok, be careful baby" she kissed my head and I moved to kiss her cheek after cleaning her tears away "I love you, with all my heart"

"I love you too mom" I moved to kiss her forehead and I got up, gathered my stuff and walked out looking for Ms. Vazquez, when I spotted her making dinner I smiled, I loved that woman for taking care of my mother.

"Aren't you staying for dinner?" she asked turning to look at me.

"Nah, I'll eat at work…here" I handed her an envelope, she eyed it frowning before taking it only to see my latest payment, I was so glad I got paid weekly.

"I cant accept this mijo…its your paycheck" she handed me back the money.

"No, I have food and shelter back at work, I don't need more…take it" I took her hand and closed it around the envelope before I kissed her cheek "Thanks for everything, see'ya in a week" I smiled and walked out only to be greeted with the _nice_ look of my _collector_, Jett Stetson, the asshole was wearing a smug smile as he opened the door of his new mustang. Once we were inside he started the engine and drove away.

"Long time no seen Kenny" I cringed at the pet name, he knew how much I hated it "Hawk and I have missed you"

"Cut the crap and just tell me what do you want" I sighed looking through the window, today definitely wasn't my day.

"You haven't given us a thing in months" I focused my eyes on the road liking the idea that at least he was making my trip back faster "I'll see you in a week and you better have more than a thousand" I cringed at his words knowing that I wouldn't have that kind of money just out of good and _legal _work.

"I can't make that kind of money in a week" I spoke in a weak voice hating that seeing my mother like that had left me so vulnerable.

"Well…" he eyed me critically "You could make a decent whore"

"I rather be killed by your stupid minions than sell myself" I growled glaring at him, he laughed in a relaxed way not bothered by my tone, why would he if he practically had my life in his hands.

"Hey I'm just giving you options…oh well, till next week Kenny"

"I'll see you in the park two blocks from the house, I don't want my mother to see you" I nodded before he stopped the car near downtown, damn he was a fast driver "I'll have your money" I exited the car and let out a breath I didn't know I was holding before walking to the nearest bus station. I guessed I'll had to go back to the original plan and make something disappear from the Diamond's house, I didn't want any of those creeps around my mother and I knew I was good with stealing things unnoticed, sadly I liked this job, I even kind of liked my boss, so having to fuck things up wasn't of my linking but, like Jett let me know, I had no option.

James PoV

Nicholas James Diamond…_dear_ old granddaddy. I could say I hated him but I guess I didn't …_that much_…for instance, I could thank him my looks, yes I was a looker thanks to that old piece of shit. We had around the same height –I was two or three inches taller-, same hazel eyes and tanned skin, he used his hair short and had always nagged me about the length of mine but as always, he could bitch all he wanted, I wouldn't do a shit he said. Right now he was looking at me from my office's door with a big frown, like he always did when he was about to throw shit at me, today was probably because I was at the office on a Sunday but I honestly had nothing better to do, I liked to bury myself in work, the only person that could make me put it aside was Katie and she was at a friends birthday party at the moment.

"At what do I own the _pleasure_ of your presence?" I said letting my papers down.

"Its time to read your fathers will" I stopped moving at this, my father had died almost year ago, letting me as the new CEO of his business but with not real claim of all his money until it was time to the will's reading. I nodded towards the elder Diamond and got up, we both walked to the conference room where our lawyer was waiting for us and next to him my _beloved _stepmother was standing looking not amused of being held away from her vacations.

"Evening Mrs. Take a seat please" started the lawyer, we sat and waited for him to get the will out, he sounded his throat and began reading "I Aiden James Diamond" I rolled my eyes, did every one of my ancestors have to be called _James_? "In fully acknowledgement of my mental capabilities leave my entire wealth to my eldest son James David Diamond" even my mouth went agape after hearing this.

"WHAT?" yelled Brooke standing looking at the lawyer like he was crazy "That cant be truth! He's a BASTARD! He can't own…!"

"In case you haven't notice, we're not in fourteenth century anymore, so no one cares if I'm the son of a whore as long as I'm hot and rich…and for the looks of it, _I am_" I smiled smugly from my seat, the woman glared at me before getting back on her seat thanks to a meaningful look Nicholas sent both of us, I shrugged keeping my smile, I was just pointing the facts.

"Keep going" he told the lawyer in a tired voice.

"This will be held under three conditions" I raised my eyebrow at this, I knew my dad wouldn't give things away just like that "First, James will have to act as Katie Ann Diamond's legal guardian until she's twenty five years old, when this time comes he will give her one third of his fortune, even if the value of it its more than what he has now" I nodded, fair enough I didn't care giving all that to Katie, she will definitely know what to do with that much money "Second, James must take care and give a raise to Carlos Roberto Garcia, the boy I bowed to take care until he could handle himself"

"The _labor boy_? This is bullshit!" began Ms. Diamond and I tried to hid my laugher by coughing, yep I loved my father now more than ever, first because he had maintained the promise he made to Carlos' dad and took care of him even after he died, and second because he kept his promise to me and give shit to his _wife_.

"Please don't stop" I said not hiding my smile at the hateful glare the bitch shot me.

"And finally, in order to accomplish the other two this last one must be done within a year of my death" the lawyer cleared his throat "If this isn't done in the due time all of my money will be given to my former widow Brook Diamond" at this I sat up straight fighting to keep my lips sealed at the sight of Brook's eyes shining before the lawyer continued "The third condition is that James must be married to inherit"

"ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?" I shouted unable to comprehend what had that damn lawyer just said.

"James" spoke my grandfather in a stern voice, the most part of me wanted to make a tantrum like a little kid but I had to keep appearances, not for the people inside the room, but for the employees that were most likely eavesdropping on the door.

"He knew I'm gay" I glared at the lawyer looking for any explanation for this as I regained my seat.

"I'm not done yet" he took a breath before continuing "This condition does not change with the fact that my son is homosexual, there are plenty of states where he can legalize his marriage and be like that for a minimum time of six months in order to inherit" the room went into a heavy silence until a hard chuckle from Brook broke it.

"Well Jimmy dear, I'll be going back to my holidays, see you in six months" she got up and walked out of the room leaving me shaking in rage…what the fuck?

"Why did you read the will until now?" I heard the old man ask.

"Mr. Diamond specifically instructed to be read exactly 340 days after his death" I closed my eyes at this…3-4-0 his fucking lucky numbers…_really?_ Stupid eccentric man!

"Please find a way out of this…" began the eldest Diamond.

"He wont find one" I mumbled passing a hand through my face before I sighed "He was a lawyer himself…I know him well enough to know that if he wanted to corner me, he would've make sure of it" I groaned when one of our last talks hunted my thoughts.

"_Another whore son" he said in that tired voice as he sat next to me, his heart was giving up and being the weird little gipsy he was now he didn't want a transplant saying that if it was his time, he would take it._

"_You did like my mother, I guess I'm fishing for the same luck" I shrugged getting a medium glass of whiskey and taking a small drink of it._

"_I don't want you to live like me son…I want you to find someone that's there for you through everything, that is willing to give his all for you…and that you love him in that same way" I grimaced at his words._

"_I'm not going to marry dad, having _twenty_ wives was your thing not mine"_

"_I just don't want you to end up alone, after al being man the ones you like, you wont have my luck and find a long lost son to ease the way"_

And he stood his word, thinking that any fucking guy would do to make a real husband…well the man did fall in love like a hormonal teen, sadly it wasn't the same for me, I hated getting close to people, I would fool around but I honestly had no one I would like to even think of marrying. Carlos was gay but being one of my closets friends I would never ask him such a thing when I knew he had a _thing_ for my other best friend...fuck I had no idea what I would do.

"What are you thinking James?" asked my grandfather in a not to harsh voice.

"That I have two fucking weeks to find myself a husband"

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	5. Chapter 5

CHAPTER 5

Kendall PoV

I looked into the ceiling like I had been doing for the past…I had no idea how many hours, I had been laying on my bed immobile sense my room was lighted by the sun when came home after the longest most depressing bus ride I had ever had. I blinked prior moving my gaze to my nightstand to see my phone, I reached for it only to see that it was passed midnight, I couldn't sleep, I had way too much on my mind, too much sorrow and worry to crush my soul. Sighing I pressed my eyes with my hand knowing that I wouldn't get any sleep tonight so I might as well do something useful. I got up thinking that I could go down the basement and wash a couple of cars to pass the time, I changed in sweats and a simple grey tee, thinking that no one was awake to see me without my uniform, before getting out of the room. I walked trying not to make noise not completely liking the silence, it left me alone with my thoughts and at the moment they weren't quite good to have. I took a deep breath passing a hand through my hair trying to get myself together, I couldn't break, I knew that once I let myself fall for a second, even away from my mother, it would be fucking impossible to keep a straight face to her, to Jett and to _my boss_, I had to be strong and endure this whole shit for just a little more, then I would only have to look after myself, then things would be a heck easier…or so I hoped…I bit my lip getting out of the house into the midnight chills of autumn, I walked till I reached the door, inserted the security code and entered, yes cars always made my mood get better. Deciding to be picky I walked to one of my favorite classic cars, a chevy '67 Impala, my dream car, it was so badass that I would do anything to get my hands in one in such a great state as this one. It was black in a strong classic rock kind of way, had light brown leather seats and all I wanted to do was get inside and play some AC/DC…sadly I could never do that, so I'll have to settle to wash it. I began working trying to feel the peace it had brought me the day before but I couldn't reach it, on the contrary, each passing minute I felt like I was suffocating even more, a lump in a throat that wouldn't give in, I had to stop what I was doing pressing the heels of my hands into my eyes sucking a breath at the sudden urge to cry…I was fucking twenty years old, it was easy to say that a lot of times I felt way over my head, trying to hold everything together for my mother's sake. I walked until I was resting my back on the wall looking up, it was hard to live on like this, I had to take care of this job because it helped me with the med bills, but I had to steal something from James because that would help me to keep me alive…kind of hard to decide which way to go if your mother's life depended on both of them. I punched the wall hard, for once wanting physical pain to beat the emotional tornado inside of me, feeling my fist protest I continued doing it.

"Please God…" I spoke softly sending my eyes up, I wasn't a truly devoted person but at the moment I was desperate "Help"

James PoV

I furrowed my eyes before opening them only to see a blue light blinking in front of my face, in my slumber it took me a couple of minutes to understand what was that blue light, I rolled my eyes when my brain finally decided to process the information, this new security system I had installed was a little too sensitive and it triggered with every tiny thing, and the blue light meant that one of the secured areas had been opened using the code at a closed hour…I was starting to think that I would have to hire a security guy to attend this calls but I liked to have something kind of normal in my life, and according to the movies having the man of the house running with a base ball bat around when someone got inside the house was something normal so I liked to check those kind of things by myself. I groaned sitting in my bed passing my hand through my sleepy eyes and reaching for the remote to turn on the TV going for the security channels… house _clean_, back yard _clean_, Kendall inside the basement, kitchen _cle_…_wait what?_ I turned back the channel to see Kendall oddly punching the wall while he rested his forehead against it, curious about his behavior and why would he be there in the middle of the night I got out of bed, put on a tee and a hoodie before walking out of my room, the house and inside the basement. As I looked at him I saw his shoulders tremble, his right hand scratching the wall while he punched it with his left one. I raised my eyebrow seeing his bloody knuckles.

"I don't like blood on my walls" I spoke stepping closer to him, he stopped moving before slowly turning around, I frowned at the emptiness inside his eyes as they made contact with mine completely stunned, his wide eyes slowly moved to his hand like he hadn't felt the pain before that moment.

"Fuck" he practically whispered letting his bloody hand against his eyes leaning on the wall, suddenly I felt the urge to wipe that dull color of his eyes, I wanted his pull his shoulders up proudly like every damn day I tried to take him down with stupid tasks and he took it all in like he couldn't be ashamed of the things he did…I wanted to make him forget whatever was that had him like this because it was too damn unsteadying to see him in this state…I had no idea why this crazy thoughts had made their way to my mind but I had no time to question myself before I took a step to stand in front of him, carefully removing his hand from his eyes, cupped his face and brought his lips to mine. At first his lips were frozen, probably shocked by my sudden action…heck _I_ was shocked by what _I _was doing, but the moment he began to answer I lost all control I had. I groaned taking him forcefully in a kiss filled with teeth and tongue, I felt his hands on my neck pulling me to him as I pushed my body pinning him to the wall while my hands rested on his hips; I bit his lip making a heavenly moan escape his lips making my groin twitch as his hands tugged my hair sending a delicious shiver down my back, I moved my fingers to caress he skin that showed under his tee feeling his body shudder at the contact and a small gasp leaving his mouth. After deciding that I really needed air I stopped the kiss, my breath coming shakily surprised by the force of the kiss, he was immobile, with his hands still tangled in my hair, I shifted my head to have a better look at his face, he was breathing hard, his eyes closed, his lips wet and looking so fucking _fuckeable_…I groaned moving to nibble his neck, he sucked air as I marked the sensitive skin, I was almost done when felt the very instinctive thrust of his hips rubbing his hard clothed dick in mine, we both moaned at this prior connecting our lips again this time my hips being hugged by one of his legs; my mind was completely blank for anything that wasn't the blond in my arms, I only was aware of every bit of my body that made contact with this, his hot tongue battling mine being as stubborn as he always was, his fingers massaging my scalp and his hips rocking against my painfully hard dick…until he stopped moving like he had some kind of switch that turned everything off.

"No" he whispered taking away his hands and pushing me back in one movement, surprised and not really thinking I searched for his eyes finding them wide and scared, I was sure I saw disappointment and regret flicker through his emerald gaze before he shield them away letting the cold hard look I knew sense childhood replace them "No" he repeated a little strongly "I-I c-can't…you're my boss…t-this isn't right" he kept his hands up front like he was afraid of me walking to him again, his fingers were the only give away of his trembling body "I can't lose this job" he shook his head prior storming out of the place leaving me there like an aroused idiot in the middle of the basement.

"SHIT!" I yelled before passing a hand through my face…what had happened to me? I wanted to make him suffer or at least forget about him not get right into his pity net and began to worry about him…but even as I tried to tell myself that I didn't care about the vulnerability he showed just some minutes ago, deep inside I knew that my whole body ached in curiosity to know what had happened to the kid that used to terrorized me. I couldn't say I knew him, I couldn't say that all I wanted from him was revenge, I couldn't say that I didn't want to kiss him again…fuck, I couldn't even say that I had ever stopped my stupid crush on him…somehow I felt the remains of_ Jimmy_, the poor fat kid shaken inside of me as memories assaulted my mind.

_I looked at him, always crowded by the bunch of dicks he loved to call his friends. He was three years younger than me, but his bigger stature, his strong jaw, my shortness and chubby complexion made us look the same age. He had deep bottle green eyes, beautiful to see even if each time they had looked at me they were clouded with mockery, disgust and on _nice_ days, pity. He was taller than me, showing his lean body in every move. He was a jock, the usual gorgeous blond rich pretty boy, and as every looser I was completely in love with him even if I was the victim of each one of his pranks._

_I bit my lip looking down, I could hardly see my feet over my prominent belly, my torn shoes showing the disregarded tips where I had to use duck tape to keep the sole in place. How could he not make fun of me? Telling him to stop was like telling a cow not to moo…that didn't mean it didn't hurt like hell seeing his amuse eyes every time one of his friends made piggy noises every time they saw me. I was the maids grandson, I could only live there because Ms. Knight had let me stay, she was okay I guessed, not as snob as the other ladies my granny had worked for but not a caring good soul either. _

_Now I had to get inside the kitchen but to do that I had to cross the living room where he and his friends were happily watching a movie, today was my mother's death anniversary and I was not in a good enough mood to endure the jokes they had probably in store for me. Deciding to dodge the enemy I turned around to get outside the front door not caring about the pouring rain, I could get around the house and inside the back door with them not knowing that I was there. I did as I planed, but a yell stopped me in the middle of the garden._

"_Jimmy!" he said and I flinched, normally I hated that they called me that because that was how every man my mother had brought home had called me, it was the name of the son of a whore, not a kid that just wanted to be left alone "Why are you playing in the rain?" he asked in a condescending tone, like I couldn't comprehend his words. I wasn't the brightest of the bunch but I could defend myself enough to know that I was not stupid, but I still chose silence not wanting to anger him even more._

"_Yes I bet he wanted to play in the mud, like the pig he is" started Dak, Kendall's best friend. I flinched not turning to see them before taking a deep breath and restarted my walk._

"_Don't fucking turn your greasy back at me Jimmy!" came Kendall's shout before I felt a hard push and being the fucking clumsy I was I tripped over my own feet and ended up with my face in the mud. I moved to stay in fours hearing the laughs behind me as I felt my eyes burn and for once I wasn't able to restrain my tears as a sob shook my body "Are you fucking crying?" he asked stepping close to my face before ducking his head, I lowered my gaze feeling my cheeks hot as the uncontrollable sobs kept going._

"_Such a girl" I head some other kid say while they others laughed hard. Trying to get any of the dignity I had left I began to stand up but it was hard, the mud was slippery and my body not used to the workout went easily back to the ground; Kendall stood there smiling at me with his arms crossed. He didn't need to say anything, just being in there, covered in wet dirt, with my old clothes clinging in my fat body and crying was embarrassing enough to want to crawl into a whole and wait for it all to end._

"_You know" he spoke kneeling next to me as I made yet another attempt of standing "I noticed the way you look at me" I froze hearing this "Do you really imagine that someone like _me_ could even look at some_thing_ like _you_? A fucking human pig, an idiotic ball of fat that doesn't even have enough to have clothes but can easily eat the whole fridge…tell me something, how could you be so fat if you don't have money?" he crooked his head to the side as he made a thinking expression, I kept unmoving feeling my heart shatter at his every words "How could you live with yourself every day Jimmy? A whore mother that cared more about her drugs than you…" I cringed at this not knowing that he was aware of it "An old grandmother that it's more likely to die soon enough…your body alone…if I were you I would do the world a favor and kill myself" he sighed like his words were a nice advice instead of a knife in my chest "I'm bored, this piece of shit isn't entertaining anymore" he said looking at his friends before turning to me and spitting to my face "I will tell my father to forbid your fat ass around my house, you're too gross to see while I'm having fun so stay out of my way" said this he walked away to his laughing friends, leaving me there under the rain, covered in dirt and swearing to myself that one day, one day the rolls would be reversed and I would be the one laughing at his misery and spitting at his face…_

I let out a breath… he had said a thousand times more how gross I was to him, but now that my body had changed he became _goo_ under my hands…what would he think if he knew that I was _Jimmy_? What would he do if suddenly he found completely at my mercy? I raised my eyebrow when a sudden idea hit my brain…he needed money I knew that well enough, and I knew what people were capable of doing in time of need…I looked down at my boner thinking that now more than ever I wanted to fuck him in more ways than just the emotional type and I didn't want him to go all _righteous_ on me again saying that we couldn't fuck because I was his _boss_…I had three weeks and according to my grandfather I had to find a decent man to become my husband…what would dear granddaddy think if I ended up with a fucking third class driver in a _completely spontaneous_ wedding in Las Vegas? That would be poetic because I would be screwing my father's plans, my grandpas control…and Kendall's fucking sexy ass…I guess getting married wouldn't be that bad after all.

Kendall PoV

I closed my bedroom's door behind myself before leaning against it and sliding my body until I was sitting on the floor with my hands covering my face…I still felt his hands ghost under my shirt, his hard body pressing me to the wall, his lips on my own and neck…his fucking huge boner crushing against mine…_fuck_. I let my hand down to cup my clothed cock and began massaging it slowly thinking of how good it felt to be assaulted like that by _my boss_…of how his body radiated so much heat he had made me dizzy, of how strong his kiss was letting me battle him, like he wanted me to do it, to be responsive and feel the sudden energy that flew through my skin the minute his lips touched mine. I moaned when I lowered my clothes and freed my aching dick and I started massaging it slowly imagining it was James' hand, thinking that his lips were still against my skin making my body burn, I could still smell him feel him and thinking this I came with ha hard shudder leaving me tired, sweaty and aching a lot more…I had no idea why he disliked me, but I knew enough to be aware that he was a good guy and that I was attracted way too much to him but just like some minutes ago, my mother's tired concerned eyes popped inside my mind silently telling me to stay away from him, I couldn't fuck this up because either thing I decided I needed to remain in this job…well all I had to do was stay as far away as I could possibly stay from _Mr. Diamond_ and maybe like that I could kept myself from stepping into dangerous grounds and lose myself in the process.

**Hehehe fist glimpse of real Kames yay! Say for the lack of Cargan in this chapter I will make it up in the next one xD So, hate it? Love it? Reviews?**

**Take care!**


	6. Chapter 6

CHAPTER 6

Logan PoV

"…and that's why you should fuck Carlos until he can't walk for a week" my head shot up at James' words from the other side of his office.

"What?" I squeaked completely losing any brain function as his words started to make effect on my head making me see the labor boy gasping in pleasure under my…_Whoa! _What the _fuck_?

"Don't think dirty things Logie" teased James wiggling his eyebrows.

"I-I was not!" I straighten on my seat sensing an uncomfortable half hard erection "Can you repeat that? I wasn't listening to you" I grimaced at his smile "Before that completely inappropriate comment about me and the labor boy"

"Yes I knew you weren't hearing a shit I said, so I said _that_ to get back you attention" he sounded his throat "I didn't know it would get _that_ much attention though" I glared at him "Okay, okay, I was telling you that I need a plan to make Kendall marry me, I've lost almost an entire week and I still have no clue how to _make_ him say yes" he raised his hands in a surrender gesture.

"Oh I remember now why I wasn't listening to you…you're insane" I crossed my arms "First you love him, then you hate him, you two don't get along, then you want to use him to fuck up with you grandfather…where does a nice marriage stand in this whole scenario?"

"I thought you weren't putting attention" spoke James looking at me in awe like every time I showed him what my brain could do.

"Genius" I said making a rolling motion with my hand around my face, yeah probably some _James_ had rubbed in me over the years "Anyway…you're an idiot"

"What? I just need Kendall, the other stuff will come around"

"I feel like I'm talking to a kid instead of a _semi_-respectable CEO" I muttered under my breath "I won't help you with this…"

"Hey, we are best friends, you've been staying in my place and I have provided you with nice Mexican eye candy for free" again the eyebrows wiggling.

"Why are you so obsessed with filling my head with the fucking labor boy? He's an…"

"Don't you dare insult him Logan" James warned me in a steady voice "He's not an idiot, in fact thanks to your outburst he's learning to write and read in English right now" I raised my eyebrow at this.

"Good for him…now, why do you want to marry Kendall?" I wanted to knock some sense inside that pretty boy's head before he made something stupid…not like that had ever worked before.

"Because I want to fuck him" he answered smiling.

"Yeah, and that's the perfect way to do it" I wanted to bump my head against a wall "Why don't you do the same thing you do with the others?" he raised his brow "Kiss, fuck and bye bye"

"Already tried it, didn't work"

"I'm impressed" I chuckled at this rejected expression, James' ego didn't take much to be hurt "I could see Kendall has an attitude after he threatened to punch me if I ever did anything to Carlos…so yeah I would love to see your blue ball's face"

"You're getting awfully close to a punching area" menaced James halfheartedly "Let's talk about you" his grin put me off ease "Why do you dislike Carlos so much?"

"I don't" I sighed "I just…every time I see him I see Camille being fucked buy another labor boy a lot like him" I pressed my eyes with my fingers.

"Well he's not, and I hope you give yourself the time to at least know him, also you have to take out the stick that bitch shoved up your ass dude" I heard James say "You're bi, and I have always told you that guys are way better, but you had to go behind that whore and now you have your heart broken and all you can do it bitch about my friend…move on, besides we both know you weren't as close as you were at the beginning" I had to agree on that, maybe it had been_ partly_ my fault because…well, I hadn't got a whole month of vacations for no reason "We're workaholics my friend, and she just couldn't stand it…or couldn't get you entertained enough to be at her side instead of running away with sick people" he shrugged "We have to make you fun again, like when we were in high school. Get you drunk, out of those geeky clothes" he pointed at my comfy and trusted vest, I frowned putting my hand on my chest protectively.

"Na-ah" I said shaking my head "_Maybe_ the drunk part, but I'm not letting you give me a make over"

"…and then you can go an steal Carlitos innocence" he continued like I hadn't interrupted him making me groan at his words…normally I could ignore them, yeah the Mexican was _okay_ looking and _kind of_ cute, but I had never felt anything more for him…that until that day when Kendall yelled at me and all I could see were those huge black eyes seeing me like the earths greatest marvel…I hated to admit that he had made me feel better with that simple look than any of my family's or James' attempts to lighten my hurtful mood; because yes, when your fiancée leaves you for another, your self esteem goes to the dump, and having someone looking you like that _really_ helps. Thanks to that, now every time James brought him up I could easily picture those eyes, and eventually him in _not-so-chaste-fantasies_…like in this very moment in which I imagined taking his innocence in some ways that even surprised me.

"I'm not keeping up with this conversation" I began to stand up.

"Okay then, be a _darling _and tell Carlos to take the room next to yours, I'm promoting him to part of the family" he smiled before turning to his work leaving me with my mouth open.

"I'm not your fucking secretary" I said offended, I hadn't worked my ass off in med school to get bossed around by my freaking best friend.

"Please man! I have to finish this up, Kendall is washing cars, Katie's at a friend's house and I don't want to bother Ms. Jenkins" the bastard got me. I huffed before storming out of the office leaving him with a bright grin on his face. I stomped to the service wing and I ended up in front of a room, I had no idea how I remembered which was his room but I didn't stop to think about it as I knocked lightly.

"Coming!" he said in that awfully cheery voice of his, when was he serious? In life you had to be mature and respectable, not a fucking kid like the…hot piece of chocolate that opened the door showing his bare chest "Oh, Mr. Mitchell" he said turning into a delicious shade of red as he looked at me with those big eyes "A-anything y-you need?" he stuttered before realizing that he had no shirt on and ran back inside his room closing his door right in my face, which kind of helped me to clear my head in order to have my crazy brain –_and libido_- in control when he opened again. When he did, he looked beyond flustered wearing a simple purple tee "S-sorry for that" he spoke looking down and an irrational part of my brain wanted to make him look up so I could see those black eyes again, but thank God the rational part got in the game and kept me from doing it.

"James said that you can move to the second guest room because he's promoting you" I spoke rather harshly because I wanted to get away from that little _problem_ that loved to play games with my head.

"Why?" he whispered not raising his head, I frowned at the sad tone he used.

"Because you deserve it…" I said not really having an idea of what to say.

"No!" I widened my eyes seeing his gaze shooting back at me, but instead of the happy look he used to have, he had a _very wrong_ broken look "I don't! I'm an idiot! You said it yourself!"

"C-Carlos…"

"He can't promote me, not until I stop being an idiot!" said this he closed the door again leaving me there with my mouth wide open and a horrible hollow feeling inside my chest. Again my head became a battlefield, I wanted to knock on the door and tell him that he was insane, that he wasn't stupid, that he should accept James' offer, but the bigger part of me wanted to leave it like that, not because I thought the Mexican was an idiot but because thanks to that outburst Carlos was taking the time and energy to be a better person, to get ahead of what he had…and being a nerd at heart, I knew that education would open a lot of doors and make his life a lot easier. So I swallowed and took a step back, I rather be an asshole to him and see him be better each passing day, than being nice to him and see him rot as a labor boy his whole life.

"I owe it to you for making me feel better" I whispered at the door letting a small smile in my lips prior walking back to James' study and let him know about Carlos' decision.

Carlos PoV

I was buried inside my bed feeling miserable and ashamed of myself. I was an _idiot_! Instead of using the _rare_ opportunity to talk to Logan I had freaked out on him, slammed the door on his face _twice_ and yelled at him…no wonder he thought I was mentally impaired…oh _impaired, _a _big _word, take that sexy Dr. Mitchell!

"Carlos? You in there?" spoke Kendall from the other side of my door.

"It's open" I mumbled not lifting my head, he was here probably for my next lesson but I was not in the mood, I had hardly learned the _ABC_ and I has having a lot of trouble with grammar and spelling…it was a lot harder than I thought.

"What's up with you?" he asked after I heard the door open and I felt my bed shift under his weight, he was a good friend, it was nice to have him around because no matter now much I cared about James and we could hang out together he was a little intimidating, and his friends never seemed to acknowledge me…only Logan at the beginning, but now he seemed to rethink his kindness "Did that Logan asshole tell you anything?" he groaned clearly not happy, I just shook my head not wanting to talk about it feeling his hand pat my feet "Okay then, are you in the mood for our _class_?" I frowned sensing the tired sound of his voice, so I turned around to have a better look at him and I had to grimace, he was a mess. His uniform was clinging on his body probably because of the sweat, his hair was disheveled, his skin pale and his eyes hollow, with dark circles around them and bloodshot.

"I think you should sleep" I said softly sitting and crossing my legs to have a better look at him. He smiled tiredly adverting my eyes.

"I would if I could"

"How's your mom?" Over the day I had known him I knew he always cheered up talking about his mom, but today his gaze darkened and his whole body screamed _pain_. Doing the only thing I could think about I moved over and hugged him, he tensed at the beginning but then Kendall hugged me back strongly, like he needed something like this for a long time. We stood like that until he began moving and I let him slip from my embrace, now he was wearing a small smile on his lips.

"Thank you" he croaked before sounding his throat "I'm glad I came to work here and I met you, I really, _really_ needed a friend" I noticed that it was hard for him to say this, I still had to know his whole life story, but I knew enough to understand why he had trouble meeting people, not because he pushed them away, but because he had no time to make friends, to have fun in life because he had been running around taking care of his mother.

"Nothing to thank for, that's what friends are for" I patted his back "So I take it that your mom isn't doing well" I hated to talk about people like that, it made me sad, but somehow I knew he needed to talk to somebody about it.

"She's terminal…" I had no idea what that meant so I just looked at him in confusion "It means that the doctors only give her a couple of months to live" he explained not making any comment on my lack of knowledge, and I silently thanked him for that.

"I sorry that you are this sad, but look on the good side, she would stop suffering" he nodded.

"And you? Why were you sulking on your bed?" he gave me a sideways glance.

"I was not sulking" I pouted hating myself all over again.

"Of course not…come on Carlos, I told you why I'm a wreck, it's your turn" he gave me a one arm hug.

"Fine" I sighed "I freaked out on Mr. Mitchell…" I looked at my hands feeling my cheeks burn "He was here because James said that I could move to the top floor, in one of the guests rooms…Mr. Mitchell said it was because I deserved it but I don't think so" I frowned mad at James for doing this to me "I cant even read! How could I deserve it? So I yelled at him and closed my door to his face" I ended up mumbling before I bit my lip waiting for Kendall's words.

"But you do Carlos" he shook my body with his arm "Being smart or intelligent isn't just reading and talking big words, I can be you anything you want that Logan could never do the things you do with a car's engine, or around the house, that's what you are good at…also, we have been working with the reading only four days, and you are making a great progress, I assure you that in a month you could even read the Harry Potter books"

"Really?" I asked him in awe because I loved the movies.

"Yes, I'm sure that Katie wont mind lending them to you"

Kendall PoV

I watched his goofy smile appear again. I was glad of that because really it was depressing to see Carlos depressed, and again all thanks to the real _idiot_, Logan. Who seemed not guilty this time but I still didn't like him…or his best friend, a.k.a. my sexy ass _boss_ that left me with a lot of nights unable to sleep.

"So, no lesson for today?" I asked kind of hoping he said no because I really needed some sleep.

"Nah, go to sleep, seriously you look like shit" I smiled at him and walked out of the room and inside my own going directly to my bed. I laid there on my chest letting my head burry on my pillow feeling physically ill at this point. Concern for my life was crushing me, how on earth was I supposed to get the money in two days? I felt my stomach give a leap knowing the only way out…I had taken the time to know all of everybody's movements at night, so I could go around the house unnoticed…not for nothing I hadn't slept properly in the past nights...well that and also the crazy amount of wet dreams featuring my dear boss…I was proud of the fact that I had pushed him away, but I had no idea if I could do it if he decided to go for another try, I really hoped he didn't. Getting my balls in place I got up knowing that at this hour no one would be around Ms. Diamond's room, and somehow I knew that she wouldn't miss a necklace or two. I left my shoes inside wanting to make the less sound possible as I made my way through the house, I saw the light inside James' office telling me that he was still in there probably with his nose inside papers not giving a shit about what happened inside the house. One down. I climbed the stairs taking my time to look at Logan's room seeing no light in there, I froze when I heard the bathroom door open, I had to duck myself enough to be hidden by the shadows inside the house, good thing James was an environmentalist and turned off all the unused lights in the house. I saw Logan stretch himself before getting inside his room. Two down. Knowing that I had to hurry up I walked to the left wing of the house, counted three doors and just like that I was inside the bedroom. I let out a small sigh before making my way to the vanity table and started looking around. I bit my lip when I saw an expensive looking pearl necklace and put it on my shirt bag prior starting to open the small boxes I saw inside when a voice made me freeze in my spot.

"Looking for something Kendall?" said James.

**Hehehe I love cliffys xD they're awesome! What is James going to do?**

**So, some Cargan there, what did you think about it? I'm not experienced about them so feel free to criticize :P**

**Love it? Hate it? Review? **

**Take care!**


	7. Chapter 7

CHAPTER 7

James PoV

"I´m waiting" I spoke looking at his horrified expression. If there was something I didn't imagine myself doing tonight, was going to my room to get some papers and finding Kendall sneaking inside my stepmother´s room. It was so good I could almost call it poetic. There was no denying his actions because he had various expensive necklaces hanging on his hands and I was sure the security cameras had coughed him in action. Knowing that I had him at my mercy I stepped inside the room slowly, not getting that it was a mistake to leave the door unprotected, I only realized this when he made an attempt of escaping, but I was faster than him, I moved quick enough to close the door and tackle him to the ground getting a small huff in return.

"Shit" he cursed wiggling his body to get out of my grip, but I kept my hands firm until I was able to immobilize him pinning his hands above his head with my own and sitting on his stomach.

"Running away _tsk tsk_, that´s not a good idea" I smiled loving this position, he tried to wrestle me to no avail while I just sat there thinking of the great possibilities I had and getting so fucking turned on about the thought of having him there under me, I had to do something about it. After figuring out that he was not going anywhere, he stopped moving, and even in the darkness I saw the weariness and resignation flash inside his eyes, it was like he just gave up, too tired to keep fighting…for some reason that angered me way more than seeing him stealing "You are one coward piece of shit, aren't you?" he glared at me keeping his mouth shut "What? No defending yourself?"

"Why do you hate me this much?" he asked in a low voice piercing me with those stupidly green eyes, taunting me with his disheveled hair and teasing me with the constant movement of his hips trying to get free.

"Could it be because I just caught you stealing from me?" I leaned down getting my face close to his grinning when his breath hitched "But on the contraire Kendall" I let my nose ghost around his neck "I think we can get along just_ fine_"

"No…" he swallowed as I noted the high pulsing of his veins under my fingers "I already told…"

"I´m your boss" I grinned "Yes, but there´s another thing, right about now I practically _own _you" he frowned without stopping his struggle "See, I´m doing a good action here, have you seen me calling the cops?" his eyes turned cautious probably getting that things were about to complicate for him "If you do what I want, I won´t throw you to the cops so you can rot in jail and never see your dear mommy ever again" he froze making my smile grow._ Bingo_ "Now behave as the little whore you are" I moved so I was pinning his hands with only one of mine as I let my right hand travel down his chest.

"I´m not a whore" I smirked at his breathlessly comment not making any effort of getting free, apparently he got the idea. Instead of wasting saliva in proving him wrong I slid my hand down to cup him through his pants as I looked at his face, he was biting his lip, probably trying to stiff a moan as he closed his eyes and breathed hard. I slowly massaged him seeing how his body was eager to relax into my touch but he kept a stubborn frown in his face not giving the satisfaction of submitting to me…I didn't like that, so I decided that I would crumble every single one of his walls until he became jelly in my hands_ begging_ for more, that would teach him a lesson. I continued moving my hand as I lifted my head and began kissing his neck, licking the still present mark from our previous encounter. I bit his pulse point prior leaving open mouthed kisses along his strong jaw liking his hot breath tickling my ear as my lips climbed his face until they finally found his eager ones. This time he didn't lose time answering my kiss, battling for dominance in a way that only few dared; teeth clashing against each other, his tongue making delicious friction against my mouth, I moved to nibble his lip hearing a sharp hiss that went right to my groin making me lose my concentration, he took advantage of this as he slipped free one of his hands and, against all odds, he used it to pull my neck and deepened the lip battle "Shit" he moaned as I pressed my hand harder, smirking I pulled my hand away earning a small whine.

"Do you want more?" I asked him looking at his flustered face, his swollen wet lips and his troubled expression. He mumbled something that sounder awfully like _fuck you_ making my grin widen as I unbuckled his belt and opened his pants "Stubborn, aren't you?" he kept quiet but his dark eyes darted to my hand, that was touching the skin right above his boxers.

Kendall PoV

With trembling breathes I saw his lean fingers caress my skin as my hand gripped his arm like trying to hold my shattering body. I was shaking, not having experienced anything like this in my life; my body felt burning hot, I was painfully aroused and I couldn't quite control my sex inspired movements. Sex had always come as something good but not entirely necessary in me, until James came around. Now I was about to lose control, and he hadn't even got into my fucking pants! I swallowed as his hand slid under my shirt, spreading his fingers through my abs raising goose bumps everywhere he touched. He kept moving up lifting my shirt, passing his knuckles through my sides and letting his thumb press my nipple sending an electric sensation that ran down my body. I had to bit my lip and look up to swallow pleasured growl that threatened to break out. I could get away, he wasn't even gripping me that hard, but I knew that I wouldn't run, not when the menace of getting me in jail was so freaking _real _that I still felt the pain of the thought of not seeing my mom again hovering my chest. My eyes fluttered when his lips came back to my neck, without knowing what I was doing I crooked my head to the side giving him better access. The bastard chuckled before finally letting go of my hand and getting in all fours looking at me with lusty hazel eyes.

"Take off your shirt" he ordered. To say that I didn't want to keep going would be a lie, but I also didn't want to just submit to him, it just wasn't in my nature…then again, I was fucking turned on and hating my life at the moment, so I thought _screw it_ taking away my shirt and pulling James for another kiss. He just wanted to have his fun and I was so tired of fighting, it was so hard to keep going and right now I could let my head clear of everything and let things happen. I was not turning back on this, even if by doing it, I could lose a big part of myself.

James moved to take off his own shirt, I couldn't help licking my lips at the sight of his chest, even in the darkness I could see the faint light of the moon highlighting his every line making him look even more _unreal;_ I let my hand up eager to touch him, but he took it and pinned it back down again "Whores don´t touch, whores get fucked" he said in a cold voice as his eyes shined with something I couldn't decipher before he took me by the hips and flipped me pinning my head to the ground and lifting my ass in one harsh move.

"No need…to be rough" I said clenching my eyes trying to sound confident, it was my first time in the receiving end after all, and I knew he wouldn't be gentle…heck, I didn't want him to be gentle I wanted to get more fucked up than I already was, to make me forget about everything, to get inside me so hard that I couldn't even remember my dying mother "I´m not going anywhere" he didn't answer but somehow I felt his movements grow slower, his hands moving from my waist to the hem of my boxers. I licked my lips wanting him to keep going, to get it over, nothing was stopping him.

James PoV

He made this little strangled sound when my fingers got inside his boxers. I kissed the skin between his shoulder blades as my hand made its way to his front. The moan that escaped his lips the minute I encircled his cock, was engraved in my mind in a way that I knew I wouldn't be able to forget in my life, not because it was a cry of pleasure, but because it showed the agonizing realization that he was enjoying this and that he didn't like it one bit. He wanted this, I could see it, but at the same time I knew he would hate himself for it later. What had changed in those days? Why did I fucking care about his feelings when he was there all willing to give everything I asked him?

"G-God" he gasped when I began pumping him slowly; his back was tense, his face hidden in the carpet between his arms, his body trembling. I felt a small stream of pre-cum emerging from his tip, I used it to massage that sensitive spot making his shivers stronger and his hips to involuntary move back rubbing my clothed dick in the process. I had to do a deep breath intake trying to get a hold of myself but he kept doing it with each movement of my hand.

"Want me to fuck you?" I said at his ear, he made a wounded noise letting his hips back once again "Beg for it"

"N-no…" was his breathless answer. I narrowed my eyes before taking a grip of his pants, yanking them down and letting my pre-cum stained fingers move back to circle his hole as I let my other hand back to his swollen dick continuing my slow movements. I grinned letting my right hand´s finger slid inside him. His breathes sharpened and his body stopped letting my lonely finger move inside and out. He was too fucking tight. I really needed to fuck him.

"You like this, don't you?" I saw his head move not nodding but not shaking his head either, he was more of a mess than I had anticipated. I let my finger out before shoving three inside of him at once as I lost my patience. Kendall let out a strangled yelp burying his nails deeper in the carpet as a hard shudder clashed his pale body. I began pumping my fingers moving to kiss his spine, going up to his neck and making sure I marked him everywhere "Beg" I whispered to his neck as I shifted my fingers looking for his sweet spot.

"Fuck!" he groaned when I found his prostate, smirking I let my fingers _walk_ on it seeing how he his body crumble each time closer to release. His hips began moving along my fingers, eager to get fucked by them, knowing that he was right on the edge I took them out having to take a breath at the sensual whimper that emerged from his mouth.

"Do you want me?" I pressed my fist against his shaft letting my forehead fall in his sweat moisture back "If not, I can just go" he was immobile, only hard trembles crashing him.

"Do it…" he said barely audible not moving from his spot.

"Pardon me?" I let my hips move forward rubbing my clothed dick into his ass making both of us moan spite myself.

"P-please just…" his breathing became desperate as he backed his hips to me "Fuck me…fuck me please" fucking growling I opened my pants, lowered them along with my boxers and slammed in him without losing time "God!" he yelled causing a strong and weird sensation run all over my body. At first I went slow seeing his tense back and his white knuckles as indicators of his pain, but either I was wrong or he didn't care because he started meeting my thrusts, demanding speed and strength. I complied fucking him without reservation. Digging my fingers inside his hipbones knowing I would leave bruises for later. I began to feel his insides clenching around me, he was close, the choked sounds coming from his throat were proof enough. I closed my eyes, the friction, the velvety heat of his insides were taking all I could handle, but the moment he let out one last strangled shout, that sounded awfully like my name, made me lose the rest of my control; my vision turned white as I muted my scream with his heated skin as I painted his hole with my cum in a way that I had never climaxed.

As my breathing got even, I began to move from above him seeing his legs tremble trying to support out weight. I shook my head trying to get my mind back in place, that was something _way _out of the ordinary. I pulled out hearing his grunt of discomfort before I got up and began putting on my pants looking at him slowly moving to a standing position, he took a mid step forward, like he was having a hard time standing straight. I hated the urge I had of going and support him, hug him…_cuddle_…James Diamond, did not cuddle, and even less with cheap whores…not even being as hot and Kendall. He passed a hand through his hair before going down to put on his pants. I grimaced seeing his tense back and frowned when I heard something like a whimper.

"What do you want me to do?" he whispered in a harsh voice holding his shirt on his hand not turning to look at me.

"That desperate are you for money? To not go to jail" I said taking a step forward.

"The last thing my mother needs it´s to see me in behind bars" I saw his fists clench around his shirt, just like I had predicted; now he hated himself. Yeah the stupid martyr act wouldn't work on me, not when I knew who he really was.

"I will give you a choice" I said not liking that I had to speak to his back "And fucking look at me when I´m speaking" his back tensed even more, and after a deep sigh he turned around. His emerald eyes were so tired and lifeless that when they looked up to me I felt like they had punched me in the gut, _hard_. Then his whole self, looking beautiful and vulnerable…a big part of me wasn't so sure that it was an act after all "You can say no and I will show the security footage to the police and you will rot in jail" his jaw tensed "Or you can marry me"

"Don't joke with me" his voice got filled with venom in an instant.

"I´m not joking, I have to be married for six months, and I´m not about to go asking the stupid rich whores that want me for something like this…"

"Then why me?" he demanded, the cold look of his eyes being temporally shadowed by curiosity.

"Because sex its good" my eyes moved at the cum stained carpet under him, yes that was a perfect present for dear step_mommy_ "I know you get along with Carlos and Katie enough to live here for six months, because you´re a_ looser_ that would piss my dear grandfather and because you will be a lot cheaper than those other whores" I raised my shoulders like it was the simplest explanation on the world. He just looked at me like I had suddenly grown another head, then when he saw that I was completely serious about this, his expression turned wary probably thinking about the pros and cons of what_ really_ was his _only_ choice.

"What would it be for me?" he questioned passing a hand through his face.

"You will be my husband, get the fancy clothes, get to use the cars, the house…I will make a pre marital contract so you can´t touch my money, you will be seen in public as what you are…but only for six months" his eyes moved around the room, clearly not having any idea what to do before something shined inside of them and pure determination covered his face.

"I´ll only do it under three conditions" I raised my eyebrow.

"And what makes you think you can put any kind of conditions?" at this he fucking _smirked _at me.

"You need _me_, you made the fucking mistake of telling me that you wouldn't go for anybody else…big business man you are" he mumbled under his breath and I wanted to choke him for that, but my curiosity beat me and I only awaited for him to finish "Anyway…they are not about your money, don't worry" he bit his lip and sighed "I want you to be faithful, if I´m going to be married, even if it´s for your own fucking gain I won´t be having you getting whores around…if you want to have fucking sex come to me, I want no one near you while you´re wedded to me"

"Possessive?" he shook his head.

"No, but I have my reasons" he began twisting his shirt with his hands "The other two…I would like you to pay for my mother´s cancer treatment and…" he groaned looking away and even in the dark I could see his flustered face.

"And what?" I took a step forward a lot more curious for his sudden shy behavior.

"She won´t forgive me if I marry just _because_…I want you to fake in front of her, I want you to act like you actually care about me…I need her to think that this is real" that didn't work for me, even with the way I was I hated lying more than anything.

"What would she think when everything´s over after just six months" at this a dark sad smile made appearance on his mouth.

"That won´t be a problem" he lifted his eyes to meet mine "So…?"

"Be ready Kendall, we´ll be traveling to Vegas to get married in a week"

**Finally! I thought I would never get through with that! Haha Now the good stuff begans!**

**What did you think about it? Love it? Hate it? What about the angst-mad smut? Lol I´m a more of a romantic kind of smut, so yeah feel free to criticize.**

**Ahh I loved BTRocker, it was fun, not the best but I liked it xD and The song! Ahhh I love Paralyzed xD**

**Take care! **


	8. AN

**Hey Guys!**

** So sorry but my laptop died! And I have tons of labs and exams from school and I'm going nuts! I will update as soon as I can! Sorry I just wanted to let you know and thank you soooo much for all your reviews, faves and alerts! **

**Take care!**


	9. Chapter 8

CHAPTER 8

James PoV

If ten years ago someone had told me that I would be marrying Kendall Knight…I would´ve had a stroke in that second. Now…now things were a little different. We were currently sitting on my private jet traveling to Vegas. I was working, as usual, trying not to look at Kendall who was sitting across the hallway and was listening to music looking through the window. Something about his behavior made me antsy and filled me with an intense unknown feeling that, honestly, I had no idea how to deal with and it creped me out. It was like a part of me was happy to see him suffering, to make him feel what I once felt…but then, there was another part that somehow had grown stronger over this past week forcing me to _care_, to try to bring back the happy kind I once knew, to make him go back to that strong headed idiot that did everything to stand his ground, to make this vulnerable and broken person disappear and have Kendall back.

I sighed passing my hand through my face. After that night I had told him that he no longer worked for me, that he had the rest of the week to attend his business and leave everything done for today. I had expected him to run back to his mother in no time, but instead of that he went to his room and didn't come out at all, he would´ve starved if Carlos hadn't brought him food. I still remembered the little chat I had with Carlos after the first day. He had told me that Kendall was sick and that had this lost expression on his face, like he was struggling to keep it together and keep going. He had asked me if I knew anything that could make him like that, I told him the truth, what had happened between us and what was about to happen, of course Carlos gave me a disappointed glare that gave me the chills, it was the first time the latin looked at me like that. With Logan, things had gone around the same, but being the practical person he was, he understood why marrying Kendall was the best choice if I wanted to keep my money.

On the weekend Kendall had gone out of his retirement and went to visit his mother. Sustaining my promise I sent a special care unit to pick up Ms. Knight and transfer her to a health care facility specialized in cancer treatment. I could still remember the moment I went there to sign some papers, it was Saturday morning and Kendall was walking out of his mother´s room.

"_I need you to wait here Mr. Diamond" said the nurse taking the papers I had just signed and walking inside an office. In that moment I turned to look at my right where I found Kendall resting his back against a wall. At first I couldn't read his expression because he had his head ducked and his hair covered his eyes, but then he must´ve sensed my stare because he lifted his head letting his eyes find mine, the minute I returned his gaze he let out a long sigh, like he had been holding it out for a long time, and then he smiled, the first real smile he had ever given me. I shuddered noticing the strength of his gratitude. It was wrong how thankful he was, given that I was doing this to get my own gain but he didn't seem to care. He sounded his throat and walked to me._

"_I-I already told my mother about us…she believed me, he hopes to meet you when we come back" he said lowering his gaze making that happy gleam it had two seconds ago, disappear. I had no idea why, but that felt _wrong _and the only thing I wanted was to take him by his shoulders and shout at him to be happy again…something was seriously wrong with me._

"_I´ll schedule something" I shrugged. Would she recognize me? She had never been mean to me, she had acknowledged me…I didn't know how things were going to be once I visited her._

I rested my chin on my hand looking through the window. The next Monday Kendall had come back completely different, a lot like he was on the first days. Maybe the whole depressed-ill thing was a façade but I was beginning to think that he was just _that good_ at hiding his problems and emotions from everybody else.

"Will you make me wear a tux?" I heard him asking. I frowned amused at his questions turning to look at him, he had his big emerald eyes focused on me while he raised a bushy eyebrow.

"Yes" I said simple smirking when he grimaced "I have a reputation Kendall, it´s bad enough that I will marry a nobody I don't need your gross looking clothes to make things worse" I saw his jaw tighten at my words, low blow I knew that but I hated him for making me this confused about everything, so insulting him was my only way out.

"Fine" he sounded his throat after passing his hand through his mouth "What are your plans for today? Get there, sign the papers and come back or…"

"We´ll stay the night" I interrupted him "What´s a wedding without a wedding night" I heard a faint breath intake at this. Yes, the last time sex had been good but I had this weird feeling of _wrongness_, I was determined to take it away or I wouldn't stand six months of it. Thinking that he had nothing else to say I turned to try to work some more.

"Where are we staying?"

"Bellagio" I answered not meeting his gaze pretending that my work was more interesting.

"Have you been to Vegas before?"

"About three times"

"Huh…it´s my first…is it really as awesome as they say?"

"It´s not bad" I sighed frustrated not being able to read my papers in peace, I couldn't concentrate because I was waiting for his next question, what was going on with him? Suddenly he was all chatty and curious.

"Do you gamble?" I turned to look at him at the unexpected seriousness of his voice, his eyes were stern and a little darker, like that question was some sort of test. Why would he care if I gambled or not?

"I like poker" I raised my shoulders "But I normally play it with Carlos or Logan and we don't use money"

"That´s good" he smiled and then like he hadn't been harassing me with questions, he put his earplugs back on and turned to the window…what the fuck was wrong with him? Hating that apparently I was the ignored one now I looked at my papers deciding that I couldn't work now, so I took out my phone and began listening to music frustrated about having the blond taking over every bit of my head.

**Meanwhile, at the Diamond mansion…**

Carlos PoV

One of the reasons Ms. Jenkins was around was to keep an eye on us. Not because we were bad or anything, but because we tended to do some crazy stuff. Everybody knew that James and I becoming friends was because one: we loved pranks and stunts, and second: because we could _get _each other. So, when we were kids Ms. Jenkins had been the only one keeping us in line, like a teacher. Well now that she had gone to visit her son for a week, and Kendall and James had gone to Vegas to get married. I was here in charge of the house, the personal and Katie. Not that I hadn't done this before given that James traveled at lot, we were used to it, but the main difference this time was that Mr. Mitchell was also around…and that made things a little hard for all of us.

Over the years we had never really interacted with each other, then he came and began living here making my life a little nightmare in which I knew how low he thought of me and how really of a mess I was. Well after a lot of working hard for two weeks I was now at the same reading level of a second year elementary school student…I was proud of myself because even James had been speechless about my improvement. For some reason I began thinking that maybe I wasn't_ that_ stupid, and maybe Mr. Mitchell would acknowledge me as a real person.

Right now I was finding hard not to laugh because what was going on in the house was something I hadn't imagined at all. First, things had started normal, the maids keeping me out of their way arguing that I had stomach hands and that I shouldn't be around anything breakable; the cook and Katie making plans for the meals of the week including ice cream and pizza; and me working on the cars and doing some homework Kendall had left for me…that until Logan began trying to order the staff around making me the referee for all of them and frankly, thanks to that I lost part of the fear I had of him seeing that the maids weren't afraid _at all_, probably knowing how Kendall had yelled at him and James hadn't done a thing…maybe it was good to defend yourself against him, maybe that was something I should´ve done a while ago.

The main event of that whole _staff vs Mr. Mitchell war_ was when Katie got in the picture after Mr. Mitchell made the chef cook some rabbit _healthy_ food…if one thing I knew that was bad to mess with, was anything to do with Katie´s food, she ate healthy but like every kid she loved burgers and junk food every once in a while, and forbidding that to her, was a big mistake.

"I told you, you would regret making me eat bunny food!" she said before storming to her room leaving me with a very mad Mr. Mitchell. Who wouldn't have been this mad being completely soaked in engine´s oil and feathers? At my right the maids thought it was hilarious and the cook was simply smirking…good thing Ms. Jenkins was not around or she would´ve killed all of us, Katie included.

"Are you okay Mr. Mitchell?" I managed to ask looking at him before turning to my workmates "No more show, go back to work"

"Yeah, yeah" they said going back to the house with their smiles firmly in place.

"I can´t go inside the house like this, can I?" asked me Mr. Mitchell looking at himself grimacing.

"I don't think the maids would appreciate cleaning again after you" I shrugged.

"It´s their fucking job to clean after me" he crossed his arms clearly making himself look more important. Somehow this angered me more than when he said something against me, I hated when people messed with my friends.

"You´re a doctor, you have to know that in a hospital you don't mess with the nurses, in here it's the same with the maids" I said walking to the hose "Close your eyes" I smiled turning the running water hitting him right in the face.

"Fuck!" he yelled covering his face as I sprayed the water all over him cleaning the dirt. When I finally realized what´ve done I stopped and was about to blurt a whole line of apologies until I heard his _laugh_…watching his white teeth flash in that awesome crooked smile of his made me freeze in my spot not being able to tear my eyes from him "I don't think is fair that I´m the only one completely soaked" I blinked not getting what he meant until he snatched the hose from my hands and pointed at me…_oh oh._

"Mr. Mitchell…I-I don't think that…" I said taking a couple of steps back knowing that the water was really cold and that it wouldn't be as fun to be the one wet, also seeing the small smile playing on his lips kind of got in the way of my brain functions making me fight a smile too.

"Oh, one more thing…" he pressed his finger in the gun releasing the water spray, I turned giving him my back covering my face letting out a little scream because yes…it was freakishly cold but, at the same time, I couldn't stop laughing because he was laughing too, and not a cruel laugh, but at real one "Mr. Mitchell is my father, call me Logan"

**Back in the plane…**

Kendall PoV

Why was he pissed? I had tried to be nice to him and get to a least some sort of friendly conversation he had barely answered any of my questions not looking away from his work sheets, which made me feel like I was intruding on his job and I had to shut up and go back to my music.

This last week had been quite a_ lot_ if I was honest. Fist that night…I still shivered every time I thought about it, it was like my whole world closed up on me making my lungs incapable of breathing and my body ached with every single heartbeat…I had practically sold my body, the only thing I had promised myself that I wouldn't do, not even how desperate I was I had always thought I was beyond that…apparently I wasn't. I had spent two complete days on my bed hidden from everything and everyone trying to get myself together because as expected I had ended up completely messed up. How could I face my mother right away if some hours before I had been opened up like a freaking whore for some asshole? I just couldn't. I bit my lip remembering how the pain and anxiety had lead me to that stage where I was just _available_, there to be fucked, begging for it and wanting the pain that had come with it…I was afraid of that feeling, being utterly lost and hopeless, only getting the exit that was given to me not caring if it was a mistake or not.

Now I was in this mess kind of regretting my choice, but after seeing my mother smiling and completely taken care for the first time in years…those doubts were put to rest, I couldn't step back from my part of the deal. I somehow was grateful to James, I had expected maybe some chemo and a nurse given that he made clear that he didn't like me for anything besides sex but, he had found the best clinic and had paid for the best care which I knew would make my mother´s last living months way better. After I saw that, I decided that I would make an effort for this to keep going at least until my mother died, I knew more than forget that she still had just a couple of months of life, maybe in this center she would stand that whole time instead of being just a far hope…I only needed to know that she was resting in peace to make my move and disappear from that place to try to find some reason to keep going.

The pilot turned on the seatbelt sign letting us know that we were about to land. I took a deep breath…in a couple of hours I would be a married man, James was going to want to his wedding night and I honestly had no idea how I was going to do that being completely terrified of my own actions around him. I shoot a glance in his direction, he was looking at the window, thoughtful and serious. I licked my lips, even after everything I still thought he was the most beautiful human being I had ever seen. His face was outlined by the sun that leaked through the window, his eyes catching that light shined in a whole combination of brown, honey and gold; his hair looked soft and light. He was wearing a polo shirt and jeans, the first time I´ve ever saw him this casual and I honestly loved how he looked. Suddenly feeling self conscious I felt my old clothes, my thin and underworked body and my crazily big eyebrows…no wonder he wanted me to wear something better to be in public…the worst thing was that I knew that I had no right to feel like this because for him, this whole thing was a business transaction and he would never see me as something more than _nothing_…I didn't want to think how thinking of that made my heart ache.

The plane landed and we walked outside to the strong heat of the desert. I took a deep breath before I felt an arm slid around my shoulders and a pair of lips caress my ear making a shiver run through my entire body.

"If I have to act in front of your mom, you have to act in front of the paparazzi…now smile" he spoke making me look around spotting a guy with a camera frantically taking pictures of us. I closed my eyes and swallowed before giving him my brightest smile…of course this was just business.

**Sorry for the wait guys! My lap is back, school it´s not as suffocating and I finally have some time, this was hard episode to write so be kind lol.**

**Okay this was something to get around how those days were for the guys, no worries we´ll have some more angsty Kendall, asshole James, and cargan (how was that? I personally think that if something´s gonna make Carlos gain confidence is himself and stepping up for his friends, so tell me what you think xD). **

**Now I needed this to get ready for the wedding, the first night, some more flashbacks and get some cargan fluff because I need something meaningless and kind of cute (like Logan covered in oil and feathers xD or Carlos putting him into place…I´m still deciding who´s gonna top in later smut so I´m seeing how this will work).**

**How was it? Love it? Hate it? Review?**

**Take care!**


	10. Chapter 9

**Sooo sorry for the long time wait! Here it is people! Thank you sooo much for your faves and reviews! You´re awesome!**

CHAPTER 9

James PoV

"I think I´m going to throw up" said Kendall at my side as he hugged his stomach moaning. I sighed annoyed passing a hand through my face knowing that I could have stopped this but, as always, I let my crazy emotions get the better of me and I ended up like this with a drunk, sick,_ ready-to-pass-out_ husband and the realization that my longed wedding night…was _not_ going to happen.

"We´ll get to the hotel soon, don't you dare…" he made a weird –_gross_- sound before emptying his stomach on my pants "Shit! Kendall!" I jumped all I could inside the small space of the limo thinking on how the fuck we had ended up like this.

"_Wow" breathed Kendall as we stepped inside the hotel. I raised my eyebrow smiling at his amazed expression, I thought that after having the life a lot of kids wanted as a child he wouldn't be amazed by richness anymore but, apparently I was mistaken. _

"_Yeah it´s pretty cool" I found myself saying while we walked to the reception "Reservation for James Diamond" I told the young lady and she started typing right away._

"_Yes Mr. Diamond, the Cypress Suite, am I right?" asked the receptionist totally checking me out. I smiled at her like I usually did when this happened but, for some reason her red cheeks and flirting demeanor didn´t amuse me like they normally did. I nodded and she handed me two keys._

"_Have a pleasant stay" I nodded again taking the keys and walking to Kendall, who had changed his childlike smile for a somber expression._

"_What is it?"_

"_Nothing" he sighed turning around and seeing a waitress carrying a tray with champagne and walking to her "Thank you" he took one glass and drained it in one gulp…all I could do was watch him with my eyes wide open._

"_Didn't know you were a drinker" I told him knowing that the champagne brand they had on the hotel was a strong one._

"_Can we go to the room? I need a shower" he said raising his shoulders and taking another cup. I shook my head and began walking to the elevator taking my own bag hearing him following me "So…at what time do we do this?" he asked looking at his glass with that same expression once we were in._

"_At nine, we still have a couple of hours…maybe if you want to eat something…" he was already shaking his head before I even finished talking "Then do the fuck you want just be ready in time" I groaned hating that stupid expression on his face and that he had turned me down so easily, luckily the elevator came to stop and we got out. I found the room soon enough and got in not even waiting for him. I honestly had no idea why he fucking pissed me off so much._

"_Great view" he said finally smiling as we stepped inside the living room looking through the huge windows showing the awakening city, until he saw that right in front of the window was an equally huge bed…the only one in the room. Then he took a deep breath and drained the last of his champagne before storming out to one of the restrooms._

"Is it too expensive?" murmured Kendall looking at me while I cleaned my pants practically growling because they were my favorite slacks. I tried to glare at him but, his fucking puppy eyes banned me from doing it.

"Yes but, don't worry about it I have more" I sighed closing my eyes hoping for that night to end soon.

"But I like your ass in those" I widen my eyes at this seeing him drowsing with his head on the window, his eyes barely open and a lazy grin on his lips.

"I knew you were checking me out" _Busted_. I couldn't fight a light chuckle knowing that in this state his defenses were completely down.

"_I hate suits" I turned my head from the TV as I heard Kendall´s voice and seeing him emerge from the bathroom in his new suit. It was safe to say that my mouth watered at the sight of his creamy skin contrasting with the navy shirt I had chosen for him along the dark grey jacket but, once I stood to look at him closer my insides twisted in a weird way as I found myself trapped in his _grayish-green_ eyes._

"_Deal with it" I managed to say turning to look at myself in the mirror hoping that he hadn't noticed how much he affected me. Who would have thought that his eyes could turn even more mesmerizing? I blinked noting his lack of reply only to see his reflection…clearly checking my behind "Kendall…are you checking me out?" I couldn't stop myself from mocking him._

"…_n-no" he said as his face turned into a pretty shade of red prior storming to the bar and going for yet another drink._

"_I´m beginning to think that you want to be drunk before we sign the papers" I walked until I was right behind him seeing his tense shoulders and his troubled expression._

"_It´s normal for a groom to be nervous before signing the papers" he smiled with glassy eyes confirming me that he was indeed a little tipsy "Let´s go" he began walking to the door._

"Can you walk?" I asked him as I stepped out of the car glad that my pants didn't look _that_ bad because he hadn't eaten a thing sense we got inside the plane.

"Of course I can" he emerged from the limo turning to see the fountains in all their glory "Can we go see them?"

"And risking you drowning? No thanks, I´m too young to be widow" I took his hand and pulled him inside the hotel almost hearing his pout. Sadly once we reached the elevator I saw that it had at least another five people inside and that Kendall had somehow freed himself from my grip and was now leaning against a wall with his eyes closed "Hey, hey no sleeping yet" I grabbed his shoulders shaking him lightly.

"Shut up…´m tired" he mumbled. I rolled my eyes praying for strength because I had to keep myself from screaming at him in frustration. Then knowing that it was the only way, I ducked my body to hug his waist and lift him on my shoulder finally getting a reaction from him "James! Put me down!"

"Don't think so" I stomped to the elevator glad that this time it had only one person on the inside "Ma´am" I said like I wasn't carrying my husband on my shoulder.

"Good night" said the woman with amused eyes "And good night to you" she said looking at Kendall.

"Hi" he mumbled not lifting his head from my ass…the simple thought of that was making a lot of things to my body and I was glad that the woman got out on the second floor before she could notice my increasing erection "James…James…please…put me down" sighing I did as he asked but the minute he unlocked himself from my arms he began to stumble enough for me to have to hold him steady "Ugh, I hate this" he mumbled letting his head on my chest.

"Should´ve thought that before getting drunk"

"I wouldn't have done it being sober" his voice was so low that I wasn't sure if he was talking to me or himself.

"Come on" I sighed pushing him through the door when we reached our floor. I opened the door and he walked right to the bathroom, washed his teeth and came back to the couch letting himself drop on it with a content sigh "Drink" I said taking a water bottle and putting in on his face until he frowned before opening his eyes and taking it swallowing the water in one gulp "To the bed now".

"…you´re bossy" he pouted prior standing up and walking to the bed while he took away his shirt. I let out a breath and began undressing staying just with my boxers and wife beater, when I looked at him again I let out a small chuckle seeing him battling his trousers. I went to stand in front of him moving his hands away and opening them letting my fingers linger around his stomach watching him hold his breath before I let my hands drop "Want me to strip for you?" he asked raising an eyebrow.

"What?" I looked at him completely confused.

"Do you want me to take off my clothes?" he made an exasperated sound like I he was trying to explain DNA to a five year old "It´s our wedding night, you made it pretty clear that you wanted sex…I´m sticking to my part of the deal" I let my eyes travel down seeing that he was just as turned on as me…but that didn't make this right.

"Kendall you´re drunk…"

"So?" he took a step closer to me "I´m also really, very _horny _and all you did was lifting me up and put your ass in my face…I don't think that´s fair at all" our faces were almost touching and even if a decent part of me wanted to stop because I knew he wouldn't do this if he wasn't drunk, the bigger part of me was getting painfully aroused by seeing a little glimpse of the confident Kendall I used to know.

"Look…" he huffed before taking my head and shutting me up with his eager lips.

_After another awkward trip on the limo we arrived at the small chapel. I got out and waited for him to join me on the entrance._

"_Let´s do this!" he said going inside. The place was the less corny place I could find from LA, not crazy cupid signs or huge ornaments; it was intimate and not so hideous, nice place for a marriage like this._

"_Well hello there" purred a voice from our right. I turned to see a middle aged African American man looking at us "You must be the future Mr. and Mr. Diamond"_

"_In the flesh" smiled Kendall taking the hand the man was offering._

"_Good night, my name is Devon and I will be your minister tonight" I mirrored Kendall´s actions not liking the lustful glare that man was giving him, so like a complete _irrational _human being I let my possessiveness take over and I ended up hugging Kendall´s waist practically gluing him to my body. Of course he was too busy taking yet another champagne cup to really notice this…I could say that I was curious of what kind of drunk he was, so far he was a lot more talkative and accessible "Do you have your own witnesses?"_

"_Nope" chuckled Kendall "Not even my mother knows I´m here…you have someone, don't you?" _

"_Well yes. Rebecca! Joe! Get in here!" a blond petite woman walked to the center of the chapel followed by another huge dude._

"_Would you like to be out witnesses?" asked Kendall smiling at them._

"_Of course handsome" grinned Rebecca. I rolled my eyes, of course no one could deny _that _smile._

"_So, when do we start?" I questioned raising an eyebrow._

"_Right about now" said Devon before making us a sign to follow him, we did until we were at the center of the chapel only accompanied by the two strangers…it was weird how even if it should feel like a business signing a excited feeling rushed through my body, I tried to tell myself that it was the realization that I was getting married, that it had nothing to do with the blond man standing in front of me piercing me with a pair of gorgeous silvery green eyes._

"_You´re nervous" spoke Kendall not hiding his smile, it wasn't a amused or mocking one, just a simple encouraging smile that disarmed completely "Don't be" he reached taking my hand "I won´t bail on you" somehow I wanted to yell at him that I wasn't like this because I thought he would run away and I wouldn't have my money…that simple thought terrified me. What the fuck was he doing to me?_

"_Ready?" we nodded not untangling our hands "We gather here tonight to join the lives of two young men in the laws of marriage…" the rest of his speech was lost to me, I could not look away from his eyes. I knew this was dangerous territory for me but, being around him made any rational thought disappear. I hated him for that, I hated that even after I knew what he was capable of I wanted to meet him all over again, I wanted to know how he ended up like this, I wanted to know who he was now…and that was not right. Hadn´t I heard the expression ´curiosity killed the cat´ too many times? "Do you Kendall Knight; take James Diamond as your husband in sickness and in health, for better or for worse?" well something was not right in that sentence, it sounded too cliché and a little too simple…but, who was I to judge? After all, this whole thing would be over in six months._

"_I do" something shined inside his eyes as his face took a solemn expression, like he wanted to let me know that he was serious about this._

"_And do you James Diamond, take Kendall Knight was your wedded husband in sickness and in health, for better or for worse?" _

"_I do" I breathed shocked over the strength those words seem to have once I said them._

"_Come here and sign the papers" he said pointing at the table next to us where the witnesses had already signed, once we did he continued talking "By the power infested in me by the state of Nevada, I proclaim you husband and husband…you may kiss your groom" not caring about my actions I took Kendall by his neck and clashed my lips on him trying to let him know how mad I was about all the shit he made me feel, the confusions and weird feelings that weren't supposed to be there. He answered tangling his fingers in my head taking everything I was giving him until we heard a small cough on our right._

"_Sorry" mumbled Kendall moving away from me "Is that all?" he looked at Devon who was practically glaring at me._

"_Yes that would be all handsome, the payment is already done so, you may go" I nodded taking Kendall´s hand and walking away eager to get to the hotel and have our wedding night. _

I groaned when his hands found my crotch and began massaging it. Maybe I wanted to act right, but for no means I was a saint so I decided that being that he also wanted this, I had no right on stopping him so I moved until I was able to push him to the bed before climbing after straddling his waist and ducking my head to suck his neck eager to mark him as mine. He moaned bucking his hips meeting mine making me take my breath.

"James…" he sighed crossing his legs on my waist and pulling me closer. I hid my face on the crook of his neck incapable of thinking anything more than the sweet friction and the perfect sync our bodies were having. I knew it wasn't what we needed to release but I was sane enough to know that I wouldn't fuck him in this state, I just couldn't do it "Please…just…" he began trashing frustrated from my lack of initiative, but honestly I was lost on what to do. I had thought that he would be going straight to bed and fall asleep letting me to figure out what was going on inside my head…I never imagined this.

"_Can we go see the pirates of the Caribbean show? Please?" he said once we were inside the limo taking my hand "It´s my first vacation in more than a decade, can we go _see _something? We´re leaving tomorrow after all" I thought about it and decided that it wouldn't hurt to do some _touristing.

"_Fine" I moved to talk to the driver "To the pirates show"_

"_And then we could see the fake Eifel tower and the fake statue of liberty and…" I closed my eyes knowing that for some reason I would let him guide us tonight…it was going to be a long night._

I groaned when his hands suddenly were inside my pants stroking me. I put my right hand on his waist trying to regain control but he beat me pushing me until he was the one straddling me. I could only moan as his strokes grew faster not giving me a chance to think at all. So this was how sex could be if he was cooperating and not being a vulnerable mess…damn that thought gave me a reality rush making me realize that if after the last time he had ended up locked in his room, probably after this he would end up worse or hating me for letting him do it…I knew it wasn't fair but my mind had left the building letting me only thinking with my feelings…and my damn gut was telling me that if I wanted to get to really know him I had to stop…even if I was _this_ fucking close to release.

I shook my head trying to make my body cooperate with me prior pushing him changing our positions and yanking down his pants and boxers, the only I could think to make him sleep was to finish him off, so I took his cock between my hands and began pumping him. He hissed letting his head back as his hands gripped my shoulders. Last time I he hadn't let his control slip enough for me to see him like this, but now there was nothing stopping him and I was loving every second of it. The way his eyebrows arched with every new sensation, his darkened eyes that kept focus on me, his lips forming silent pleas for release, his shaking hands grasping me like a life saver…I wanted him like this at all times, without control, completely open to this moment.

"James…fuck…oh yes…please…oh God" I smirked at his babbling, he was a talker all right. His hips were moving meeting my fist before he made the filthiest most arousing sound I had ever heard and came in my fist shooting his seed all over our stomachs. I ducked my head kissing him until he got out of his high and became practically limp on the bed.

"Now you sleep" I murmured moving a golden strand of hair away from his eyes just because I loved to get lost in them.

"Like I said, bossy" he chuckled before he moved to look me straight in the eye "Why do you hate me? Or not like me or something" his voice was so low and raspy that I knew he was more sleep than awake but I answered him anyway.

"Because you make me become someone I stopped being a long time ago" I kissed his forehead only hearing his faint snoring. I let out a breath and moved until I was sitting on the bed looking at the city in front of me.

I had two options, let things go thought their natural course and stay in danger of awakening old feelings and deal with the consequences when the six months were done…or get the hell away from him, keeping him at bay, mistreating him and making him never forget that this whole deal was strictly business, that way I could remind myself that same thing and keep my feelings untouched.

"Complicated much" I smiled to myself passing a hand through my hair knowing that a sleepless night awaited me because I could not go through this again…I had to make up my mind before dawn.

Kendall PoV

I groaned before slowly opening my eyes just to close them right away. My head pounded so freaking hard that it was painful to be awake. My body was exhausted, like I had a nice work out just before going to sleep…my eyes shot open and I sat thinking of this as my mind went straight to the sex end. I looked at myself, yes I was naked but I didn't feel any pain on my backside which wasn't right if sex had been part of last night´s menu. I looked around finding the room deserted, I bit my lip trying to remember last night.

"_My mother had always wanted to visit Vegas, but my father had other plans which of course didn't include us" I said watching the pirates run through the ships and battled each other "I wish she could be here"_

"_Here" I turned to look at James who looked positively exhausted and I really had no idea why. He was handing me his phone "Take a video and show it to her when we´re back" I nodded feeling a knot on my throat. I taped the end of the show and turned to James only to find him smiling lightly. I turned the camera off and handed him the phone looking around yearning some alcohol. I was not much of a drinker but I knew the effects the beverage had on me, it made me a little shameless and it gave me the courage to get over my ever present feeling of wanting to do the right thing…the perfect stuff I needed to survive this trip._

"Or course" I growled passing a hand through my hair knowing that last night I hadn't thought about the consequences, I had just wanted to make it out alive after signing the papers. I moved to stand up only to find my whole abdomen filled with dry cum…yes, the whole hand job marathon was coming back to me…the first good step we took to normal sex and I could hardly remember a thing about it…perfect.

I sighed remembering that James had said that he wanted to go back to LA early today so I went to my bag, took out my clothes and went to take a fast shower inside the amazingly huge bathroom. Once I was clean, shaved and smelled like a normal human being I got out only to find James surrounded by paper work, his laptop and a cup of coffee.

"Glad you´re out, I was beginning to think I had a corpse instead of a whore for a husband" he said without looking at me. I sighed…yes my six months of hell had officially begun.

**Ahh today was so hard and frustrating and good (I think I found a new job without looking for it! Yay!) haha so I had to finish this!**

**What did you guys think? Love it? Hate it? Review xD**

**Take care!**


	11. Chapter 10

CHAPTER 10

Logan PoV

"_We´re lost" I said keeping my eyes on the road not finding a single sign along the road._

"_Don't worry Logan, I think I have an idea of what to do to make things better for the drive" said a voice at my ear making the hairs on my back rise and a shiver to run down my spine. I turned to my side finding those black eyes that haunted me in every thought._

"_C-Carlos?" I said moving my eyes back to the road trying hard to think about how the hell we had ended up like this when a hand moved to rest on my thigh making me jump._

"_Shh…you just keep driving" this time his lips gently caressed my ear. My eyes fluttered only being able to think about his lips ghosting my neck and his hand rubbing my thigh getting dangerously close to my crotch instead of the path ahead._

"_Wha-what are you doing?" I made myself open my eyes trying to concentrate on the road knowing that it was really wrong for us to do such a thing, it was unsafe and somebody could get hurt but for some reason I could not find the strength to tell him to stop._

"_Making the trip worth it" with those words he began palming me making me jerk the car to the right._

"_Shit" I hissed-moaned trying to steady the steering wheel as his hand moved making me impossibly hard…_where was the innocent boy that I first met?_ I thought with a shudder when he sucked my neck probably marking my skin…and that felt so fucking amazing._

"_You like that?" he asked before fucking licking my neck and opening my pants taking my dick between his glorious hands and stroking it teasingly slow "Keep your eyes up front, we don't want to crash" he said making me notice that I had closed them, startled I opened them seeing the endless road was still ahead of us. I sighed revealed prior turning my head to the side not seeing Carlos´ face, I frowned until I felt something close around my cock, something wet and velvety._

"_Oh Fuck! Carlos!" I practically yelled not believing that he was giving me a fucking blow job when we were in the middle of a highway. My right hand shot down locking my fingers on his black strands as his head moved sucking me like a pro._

Carlos PoV

I stomped out of the bathroom with a happy sigh. Another job well done. I continued walking until…

"Oh Fuck! Carlos!"I rushed to Logan´s room not wasting time on thinking about what could have happened for him to scream for me like that.

"Logan! Wha…?" I froze on the entrance door. Oh my God.

"Ngh…oh yes…" he was on his bed asleep, completely naked panting and moaning while his hand moved all over his dick…again. _Oh my God_.

I knew my face was like a tomato, and that I had to go away, that I should not be staring but I could not move one inch hypnotized by him. His creamy skin was flustered, getting a nice shade of pink. His whole body was covered in sweat making it glow against the warm light of the morning. His hair was tousled giving him a younger appearance. I licked my lips perceiving that the room was suddenly hot and my body was responding to such a sight. It was wrong in so many levels, and my rational mind kept telling me that I should go back outside, that he had just stopped hating me but I couldn't do it. I closed the door making sure to not make any noise and continued watching while my hands itched to at least palm myself.

Logan PoV

"_Ngh…oh yes…" I babbled unable to form any coherent words as he continued working me out. He hummed low and good sending all kind of different sensations to my body. I closed my eyes no longer caring about the road…something like that made me think about the weird things around, the long road, the way Carlos was all over me the… "Oh my God!" I moaned when a finger penetrated the ring of my ass. I jerked my head back panting at the intrusion thinking that the pain felt a little too real…maybe it wasn't a dream, then again why was I letting him do this to me? I had never bottomed for anybody._

"_Relax" he whispered rising to kiss my jaw moving his finger until I grew accustomed of the idea of having something inside of me…and then it became good. I sighed moving my hips a little to meet his finger not having any idea of how was it possible for me to feel like this from a fucking finger inside my ass "You´re so tight Logan, I get hard from just imagining my dick inside of you, making you scream my name" I shivered feeling my insides clench in anticipation as he added another two fingers, it was painful but his words made it bearable._

"_Oh…" I moved my hand from the wheel to cup his face getting lost in those endless black eyes as the pleasure became so big I could not hold myself any longer _"Carlos!"

Carlos PoV

I was panting by now, seeing him pleasure himself like that was just…I really had no words to describe the feeling. I raised my eyes to the ceiling as my hand moved to the front of my pants to add some pressure making me moan and close my eyes imagining that it was Logan the one doing that to me. I took a deep breath prior looking at him again and almost cumming right there when I saw his own finger disappearing inside his ass. Oh shit.

"Oh my God!" he hissed like he hadn't expected his own intrusion. He frowned in his dreams before a shudder crashed his whole body leaving it relaxed as his finger moved inside of him. I swallowed seeing him spread his legs to have a better access then he stopped moving. His chest rising and his lips mouthing silent words as my whole body tensed thinking that he might wake up when in a sudden movement he got other two fingers inside moving them along his other hand that kept the slow stroking. My breath hitched seeing his head move from side to side, his toes curling up and his breaths grow rapid, he was on edge and that simple thought made me realize that in a matter of seconds I would end up with a wet pair of pants. Unable to stop myself I walked to stand by the bed desperate to touch him, I bit my lip ducking my head closer when his hand moved up to cup my face and his chocolate eyes trapped me in the spot.

"Carlos!" he said in a strangled voice making me jump over the edge spitting my seed all over my pants seeing his body shiver as he hit his orgasm. We stood like that for what it felt like hours until I saw his eyes get impossibly wide reminding me that I SHOULD NOT be there.

"S-sorry" I choked prior storming out of the room knowing that after this he would not even stand the sight of me.

Kendall PoV

New York. Freaking _New York_.

I looked around not being able to lose my goofy smile. I had the right to be exited being inside the most amazing city in the world for the first time. Not even the reason of me being here was enough to wipe it…or maybe it had. I thought grimacing, I was here in a mission, first we would get a new wardrobe, then some crazy beauty people would make me less hideous –I was not sure if those words were James´ or mine- and last, we would attend to a charity dinner in where I would meet James´ grandfather and his stepmother…not terrifying at all.

"I´m not sure about this" I spoke seeing the intimidating entrance of one of the most prestigious beauty salons in the city, it was huge, stylish and everything I wasn't. I bit my lip looking at James, he looked like he belonged in this place…now more than ever that small gold alliance resting on my finger grew heavier.

"Well suck it up, it´s part of the deal" I rolled my eyes at my husband´s encouraging words "Come on" being the gentleman he was he opened the door for me practically shoving me inside and fuck, the inside was even worse than the outside.

"Mr. Diamond!" cheered a blond woman walking to greet him. The way she looked at him made me feel like a wall instead of a person, just nonexistent "It´s so good to see you! The usual?"

"No, I´m here for someone else" spoke James moving to hug me by the shoulders "Gen I present you Kendall Diamond, my husband" the pitiful look that bitch threw at me was enough to give me strength to be proud of who I was, I could bet the biggest problem in her life was what color of fingernails she should wear the next day…and she looked at me like I was nothing? Guess again _sweetheart_.

"Evening" I said rising an eyebrow looking at her from head to toe…she was all made up, no natural beauty…poor thing.

"Nice to meet you Mr. Diamond" I almost laughed at the small twitch in her eyes when she said this "Finn will be here soon" said this she walked back to the reception.

"Well somebody just won a bitch fight" chucked James in a low voice. I shrugged putting my hands on my pants.

"James!" we both looked at the man coming to greet us, he looked middle age, was blond and quite feminine.

"Finn" smiled James taking the man´s hand just in time to hear the most high pitch yell I had ever hear in my life. I opened my eyes wide seeing at the exited man looking at the wedding ring on James´ hand like it was the eighth wonder of the world.

"Is this what I think it is?" his eyes moved slowly to his side resting on me before a sweet smile appeared on his lips.

"Finn this is Kendall, my husband, Kendall this is…"

"Nice to meet you" he interrupted James walking to me giving me a big hug "We need to talk, I think I know what to do with you and for this moment I just want to get to know you" he said not letting me go. Stunned I looked at James who was wearing a deep frown…that was not a good sign "James, you wait here, Kendall will come when he´s ready"

"What? Why?" James demanded.

"Because I say so" smiled Finn prior taking my hand and pulling me inside the salon, all the way back until we were at what I liked to think, his personal quarters "So" he made me sit on those special hair dresser seats and turned me to a mirror…I really tried not to wince at my reflection.

"So?"

"I do like your hair long but I think I can make it better" he commented "Do you have anything against having short hair?"

"Not really, I have it like this just because I cut it myself and it´s easier like that" I shrugged looking at my lap, it was hard to talk about shit like this to a fancy hairdresser.

"Don't worry, I will make it look great and I will tell you how to take care of it" he took the scissors and spin me around "Then I will give a little shape to your eyebrows" he chuckled probably noticing the panicked look on my face "Just a little bit, I´m not taking them out, I like bushy eyebrows; then I will give you a little facial, pedicure and manicure…just for the fun of it" he smiled "And I won´t let you look at yourself until you´re done"

"Why?" I frowned.

"Because I saw the look on your face when you looked at James and when you looked at yourself on the mirror…we all have issues Kendall but I assure you, I can see what James sees in you"

"…Thanks" I murmured keeping my gaze down "How long have you known each other?"

"Around ten years" he smiled "We met when I began working here and James was brought to…make him presentable for the rich society" I nodded thinking that being some rich man´s bastard must´ve been hard for James "And you? What´s your story?" he asked when he started working on my hair.

"Call me Cinderella" I grinned thinking that it was the perfect catch story for the press.

"Oh that is so romantic…and what do you think James saw in you?" luckily he was right in front of me and I could see no malice behind his words, just plain curiosity.

"I think that…I´m just what he needs" it was the truth after all.

"Good answer, it will do marvels for the press" he chuckled "So…why the need for change?"

"Meeting the in-laws" I faked a shiver "I´ve heard stories, and they are not fun"

"Maybe about Mrs. Diamond…she´s a complete bitch, and will give you a hard time for your little fairytale"

"I figured as much" I sighed "What can you tell me about the grandfather"

"He loves James, but he doesn't agree with his way of living, and that pisses James…you could think they hate each other but they just love to fight" I smiled thinking that at least James had someone other than his friends that cared about him, and that could take care of him…much unlike me.

"I think he will be harder than Mrs. Diamond"

"Yes, I think so too" he smiled "All done"

"Really?" I tried to turn to see myself but he stopped me "Na-ha, now let´s cream you and then for clothes"

"Fine" I sighed hating this. Finn started to profile my eyebrows –which was more painful that I first would have thought, I hated it-, then put like a million creams on my face and finally he let me stand and pushed me to a dressing room. I tried a whole lot of different clothes. They were perfect fit and somehow I loved every one of them, it was bizarre how after a small chat he managed to know me this well…finally he handed me the tux "Are you sure I should be wearing this now?"

"James just called me, we´re late so you´ll be going straight to the party"

"Ugh…I will puke again…and this time I don't think he´ll forgive me at all" I sighed hearing a loud laugh on the other side of the curtain.

"You puked on him?"

"All over his favorite trousers…for a moment I thought he would kill me but he simple sighed and cleaned himself…my first near death experience" I joked still surprised about the lack of action from James.

"Wow, he really does love you then" as if. I shook my head and began dressing. It was a black tux, bow tie and all. I felt so stupid and over dress.

"Can you help me with this?" I asked him emerging out of the dressing room only to find James standing in front of me. I froze not having any idea of how I looked and being overly self-conscious "What are you doing here?" I inquired seeing that he was just looking at me with such hunger and possessiveness inside his eyes that a shiver overtook my whole body. He took a couple of steps forward and I had to make myself stand still instead of running back to the dressing room…I hated him for this. Normally I lived my life without thinking about my appearance at all, not really caring…until he came around, now thanks to the man in front of me I was feeling like a complete girl and not capable of acting any differently. James only stopped when he invaded my personal space and began tying the bow tie. When he was done he just cupped my face and kissed me slowly, intimate, in a way that nobody had kissed me…then he ended the kiss not moving one inch back.

"Beautiful" he whispered.

**He hee what did you think about that? Happy Cargan fans? Happy Kames fans? Some smut and fluff for you xD**

**Love it? Hate it? Review?**

**Take care!**

**P.S. Remember how Kendall looked when he was just in Heffron Drive? Long hair and indie look? Well that´s how he looked until now…now, well just take a look at the BTR move photos…oh yes 3**


	12. Chapter 11

Carlos PoV

I sighed looking at the lonely Christmas tree. Mrs. Jenkins had gone to spend the holidays with her daughter, the cook and the maids had gone to their respective homes, Katie was in NY with her mother´s relatives and Logan was ignoring me…or I was ignoring him…or…I really had no idea. The thing was that today was Christmas and I was sure I was going to spend it alone dreaming of my family´s huge parties and mouthwatering dinners.

I grimaced, James had said that they would come today and they were running late, I was kind of getting worried because I heard that there had been some mayor snowing in NY…I just wished they hadn´t killed each other, this whole marriage thing had been a bad idea from the start.

"I guess I could…"

_SLAM!_

I jumped at the sound of the front door prior darting to the entrance seeing James and Kendall glaring at each other.

"I fucking hate you, you know that?" yelled Kendall "You are one egoistic, self absorbed prick!"

"Yeah well guess what, you married that pick and for the next six fucking months you´re stuck with me!" answered James. I grimaced at the throbbing gleam inside both of their eyes, they were hurting each other and they didn't like it, but they were too stubborn to stop.

"What is all this yelling?" said Logan walking there. I lifted my eyes looking for his but he kept an obstinate glare to the newcomers.

"Nothing, just my little _wife_ having a drama" _oh oh._

"You know what James? I fucking had it with you…I hardly survived four days like this, I can´t do it anymore…I´m going to the hospital" said this Kendall _gently_ tossed his bag to James successfully knocking all air out of him and throwing him backwards before stomping out of the house.

"What the hell happened?" began Logan while I helped James move the bag so he could stand up "We know you didn't really get along before, but this is an exaggeration"

"Shut up and leave me alone" said this James marched to his room leaving the entire luggage at our feet.

"I´m not picking this up, let him come and get it" Logan said moving to the study. I sighed going for the bags remembering that even if we were all kind of friends –except Logan- I was still just the labor boy…this was still my job.

Kendall PoV

I was fuming. I hated him so freaking much. I hated what he did to me. I hated that he made me feel like he could change, that those rare moments when he acted civilized to me meant that maybe we could make our differences aside and have these six months at peace.

Boy I was _so_ fucking _wrong_.

Right after almost giving me a heart attack at the salon calling me something no one had ever calle me, I realized that Finn was looking at us through clouded eyes reminding me that it was all for show. Then the moment we had gotten inside the charity ball he had left me on my own and went to get drunk with his friends. At that moment I had just rolled my eyes and began wandering around hoping to find something to make this less boring.

"_They should make this a lot merrier, don't you think?" I turned seeing a black haired girl looking around with a bored face._

"_The trees and lights aren't merrier enough for you?" I smiled seeing someone rather normal around "I´m Kendall"_

"_Lucy" she gave me her hand and I shook it "Are you here as a plus one?"_

"_Yeah, I don't fit in this place" I spoke looking around._

"_Judging by your more than expensive clothes, you do" she eyed me up and down._

"_Someone dressed me" I looked at the tux knowing that my cheeks were starting to get red while I remembered the moment James had helped me with the bowtie. _

"_And that someone is…" she looked at the people close by._

"_Getting drunk with his friends" I hated how bitter I sounded, it wasn't that we were actually in some sort of relationship._

"_Want to go have some fun?" she said opening her purse only show me a little bag of pot. I bit my lip thinking about what I could do, it wouldn't have been a first for me but James had menaced me that if I didn't behave he would kick my mother out of the hospital and just put a nurse to take care of her…I could not let that happen._

"_Sorry, not today" _

"_As you wish" she closed her purse "So, are you from here?"_

"_Nah, from Minnesota but I live in LA"_

"_Wow, I love LA I wish we could…"_

_I saw James angrily walking to us "What are you doing?" he demanded._

"_Talking to someone" I raised my eyebrow._

"_I told you to stick with me" he narrowed his eyes prior taking me by the elbow and pushing me where his friends were "Now stay here, and don't talk they don't need to know a shit about you now" _

"_Why bring me here then?" I asked feeling really, really pissed._

"_You know what? Yeah I guess you´re right, go back to the hotel, the driver will take you and don't fucking bother me" said this he went back to the group letting me feel like a wall again._

I was still outside the house when I thought that we were married, all his things were mine too and I didn't need to take the bus again. Grinning I walked to the garage taking the keys to the Cadillac and deciding that I would spend the night with my mother knowing that in the hospital they wouldn't mind.

_After he had so graciously ditched me I had decided that I didn't want to arrive to the hotel just yet. Besides it was close enough, so I didn´t call the driver and went to the hotel by foot._

I smiled remembering seeing Time´s Square at night, it had been simply amazing…of course until someone saw me alone roaming like a dreamy teen and had attempted to rob me.

"_He tried to steal from me!" I yelled at the officer when he was trying to handcuffed _me.

"_Yeah sure and you almost killed him" the officer explained pushing me to the wall finally closing the cuffs. Okay perhaps I had taken a lot of frustration on the poor guy, but that didn't mean that they should take me to jail too "It was in self defense so we will give you just one night unless someone pays the fine" I groaned when I was pushed inside the police car just by the idiot that had tried to steal from me. _

"_You picked the wrong dude" I mumbled looking at his swollen face…I had been a hockey player after all "I don't even have more than 2 bucks in my pockets"_

"_Yeah the suit tricked me and pretty boys don't usually fight" he chuckled before making a pained expression "Where did you learn to fight kid?"_

"_Hockey" I smiled like I always did when I thought about it "And don't let the suit fool you…call me a gigolo" I raised my shoulders because as for now, I felt like that._

"_So, a crazy cougar is waiting for ya´…I guess when I was younger I should´ve tried that" he chuckled._

"_Yeah…I´m a sex toy, nothing more I´m not even sure if she´ll pay for me" I was glad my hands were behind me and he couldn't see my wedding ring and I was so not going to let him know that I was gay._

"_Is it good sex at least?" I rolled my eyes, from almost beating him to death to chatting like an old friend, yeah weird._

"_The best" I answered truly. Even after a very disturbing first time and an awesome HJ session I knew that when we finally had sex it would be really fucking good._

Of course after they took me to jail I had tried over and over to call James, and he hadn´t picked up leaving me in a fucking cell filled with druggies, drunks and other people I really didn't want to know. Not even the burglar had ended up in the same cell as I. After spending the night inside that place and seeing that the man hadn´t threatened on suing me after we agreed that it had been just _a fight_ the officers released me.

"Fucking idiot" I mumbled glad that the hospital was nearby and that I could finally relax next to my mother and not think about James at all.

_When I finally was back in the hotel, I just wanted to get inside the room and sleep for days. My head ached –the burglar had thrown some punches too-, I knew my body odor was far from good and I was seriously mad at the guy whom I had married…things got worse when I entered the room only to see him sleeping in the bed next to some other naked dude…oh I was going to fucking kill him._

_I decided to take things in the civil way; I began by taking a bottle of water and pouring it on his face successfully awakening him._

"_What? What?" he mumbled sitting up startled. I just stood there with my brow raised "Where the fuck were you?" he decided to ask as his sex toy of the night began to stir. _

"_Not fucking somebody else" I hissed "We had a deal" he frowned prior looking at his side to see the man that had just awakened and was now sitting looking at us with his brows furred. _

"_Shit" I heard James say as he passed a hand through his face._

"_And you are?" dared to ask the man. I huffed and simply raised my finger with my wedding ring on, just that one finger hoping for him to get the idea of what I was really wishing him. He simply widen his eyes and practically ran out of bed, took his stuff and was out of the room even before I lowered my hand._

Of course being that we were late for our plane we had just cleaned ourselves, packed and went back to the airport, in which we were even more delayed because of the weather. In that fucking time we had ignored each other simply because we couldn't stand the sight of the other. I hated him for leaving me alone when he was the one looking for an impression, I hated him because he hadn´t answer his phone leaving me in a cell…I hated him for cheating on me.

"I´m a fucking idiot to think that he would stand that part of the deal" I told myself feeling even worse. I hated cheating for two reasons, one was that I felt enough like a whore by doing this for some kind of gain only to know that he was fucking other people too…no, just no.

The other was that my father had cheated on my mother so many times, and I had seen her cry and be miserable for so much time that I just couldn't stand it.

I felt myself relax the moment I arrived at the hospital. I parked and went inside going directly to my mother´s room smiling when I saw that she was awake and looking better than I had seen her in a lot of time.

"Hey mom" I spoke going to hug her.

"Hi sweetie, how was the trip? Is James coming with you?" I tried not to cringe at her words but she noticed anyway "What is it?"

"We had a fight" I sighed "That´s why I´m spending Christmas here with you, just us two" I kissed her hand.

"You should be with him Kendall" she said sternly "Why was the fight about?"

"Nothing big, but I honestly don't want to see him right now" she shook her head but kept quiet. I loved her for that, she always cared about me but never nosed on my business, being that I hadn´t have the most honest of lives I thanked God for that.

Carlos PoV

If one thing I had learned in those five days of standing up to Logan and partially running the house, was that I was strong headed and that I could take control…sort of…so, as for now I wanted to spend a nice Christmas along with the people that was close to me, which meant that I had to talk to James and see if he could act civil towards Kendall for one night, then I had to make him invite Logan because I could not bring myself to talk to him just yet and finally see if Kendall was willing to hear from any of us…piece of cake.

"James? Can I come in?" I asked stepping out of his room.

"Yeah" I moved inside seeing him sitting on his bed seeing a video on his phone "Do you think I´m a prick Carlos?" he inquired surprising me.

"When you want to be" I walked to sit beside him seeing that an image of Kendall was frozen in the phone´s display "What happened?"

James shook his head letting me know that he didn't want to talk about it "What do you think about forgiveness?"

"Perdonar es el valor de los valientes. Solamente aquel que es bastante fuerte para perdonar una ofensa, sabrá amar" he crooked his brow clearly not having any idea what I had just said "Forgiveness is for the brave. Just he who is strong enough to forgive, will know to love…my mother used to say it all the time"

"I fucked up Carlos" he bit his lip looking down "I thought I knew Kendall, but I was so mistaken and now for the past I´m afraid to get to know him again…"

"We all have to risk ourselves James" we turned startled after hearing Logan´s words, I had totally forgotten that I had left the door open.

"I´m confused" mumbled James looking more lost than when I had first met him after he arrived to this house "And I have a feeling he won´t forgive me this time, but I need us to stay married…it´s not only my future that´s in stake, it´s Carlos´ and Katie´s too"

"You should´ve thought that before being an ass to him" both of them looked at me surprised, normally I didn't like to swear much "What! He talked to me on the phone! James you have to be nice"

"I can´t be _nice_! Not to him!" he alleged standing up and throwing his phone away, I was sure it still had Kendall´s face in it.

"Why not?" asked Logan

"BECAUSE IF I FUCKING START BEING NICE TO HIM THINGS WILL BE THE SAME AGAIN! I CAN´T DEAL WITH THAT!" he yelled "I can´t…now get the fuck out of my room"

"Well do what you want, spend Christmas on your own, I´ll go with Kendall and his mother" said this I got out of the room knowing that they were my last chance at a semi-normal Christmas. I was putting on my jacket on the entrance door thinking that I would spend almost an hour on the bus trip to get there when I heard some footsteps.

"C-can I take you there?" asked Logan looking at the ground with bright red cheeks.

"Yes" I whispered seeing him smile before going for his car keys.

Kendall PoV

I was humming a melody as my mother watched some cheesy Christmas movie on TV. I was not in the mood for these kinds of movies.

"I could call for some pizza…do they let you eat pizza?" I asked her resting my head on the couch I was sitting thinking that I should´ve brought some decorations to her room. James had gotten so much inside my skin that I had forgotten small things like that…I felt so bad thinking that perhaps it could be her last Christmas and we hadn´t even put on a small tree.

"I can grab a bite" she shrugged "Just take the cheese away"

"Perfect" I smiled going for the phone when someone knocked on the door "Come in"

"Hello" said Carlos emerging from the other side surprising me and reminding me that in my whole fight with James I hadn´t wished him a merry Christmas, so I stood up and went to give him a hug.

"Sorry for earlier, Merry Christmas"

"Not worries dude, merry Christmas" he hugged me back before moving away and going to my mother.

"Mom, this is Carlos Garcia"

"Evening Mrs. Knight, Merry Christmas" he kissed her in the cheek as I saw that there was someone else at the door, for a second I thought that it could be James until I saw that that someone was shorter than me.

"Hi Kendall…merry Christmas" he spoke offering his hand.

"Merry Christmas" said this he turned to my mother.

"Merry Christmas Mrs. Knight"

"Mom this is Logan, and I believe both of them are staying to have dinner with us" I spoke smiling when Logan widen his eyes before smiling brightly.

"Thanks" he said going to the phone "Pizza?"

"Pizza" Carlos and I said at the same time.

The rest of the evening we spend it seeing the movie and talking about our Christmas experiences. Logan said that with his family they always gathered around a table to play board games the whole night, that until his father died leaving his mother in charge and having to work every hour of the day and him to study his brains out…after this I decided that he wasn't that bad after all.

Carlos explained that when he was little, his mother used to throw the best Christmas parties, she invited the whole neighborhood and everyone brought something, also that his huge family was reunited at that time of the year resulting in tons of kids running around and having fun. He also spoke about his first Christmas in the US, where he, his father and Mr. Diamond had spent the whole night talking about cars while the two adults fixed an old ford James´ father had just bought.

I told them nothing because in every Christmas it was either me or my mom who was working, or before that we were just some showing dolls for my father…no one needed sad stories in this day.

"Oh I love this movie!" said Carlos to my mother.

"Yes, it´s my favorite" she answered seeing that Miracle on the 24th street was starting. They looked so happy and relaxed that I felt the pickle if tears in the back of my eyes…after all it had been a fun night.

"Kendall…can we talk outside?" I turned to Logan who was looking at me with a severe expression, I nodded and we walked out of the door into the empty hallways "Did you meet James before you began working at his house?"

"No" I frowned "Why do you ask?"

"It´s just…we talked to him, and he seems confused…what did he…?"

"Not the time or place Logan" I shook my head "He made his decisions"

"He´s alone Kendall" I turned to look at him "I might be just saying this because I´m his best friend and I left him alone in Christmas, but he didn't want me there" he shook his head "He regret´s it, but there´s something stopping him from opening to you…Kendall"

"I don't want to hear it" I raised my hand shutting him up "This is a business transaction, why the fuck should I care about him? He´s nothing to me and he never will…I can´t even stand the thought of him, I won´t finish this because I know he´s not the only one involved but don't try to make me feel bad because he´s alone, he deserves it" said this I went back inside thinking that even if I said those words out loud they didn't feel truthful at all.

Logan PoV

"…I can´t even stand the thought of him, I won´t finish this because I know he´s not the only one involved but don't try to make me feel bad because he´s alone, he deserves it" the second he began saying this I saw a shadow appear at the end of the hall, I had to use all my will force not to say a thing because somehow I knew that if James hadn´t announced his presence it meant that for now he didn't want to be noticed. Once Kendall went back inside the room I walked to the end of the hallway only to see James resting his back against the wall with a box in one hand and a small Christmas tree on the other.

"Give this to his mother…tell her that the doctor approved and that I don't want to intrude" he spoke handing me the box "And this…I thought that they might want one for her room" he saw the tree, I recognized it as the one he kept at his office, I didn't know much but I was pretty sure his grandma had given it to him "Tell him that…" he looked at his hands and that confused expression from before made its appearance "Well, I guess sorry won´t do anything for me" he chuckled dryly "Merry Christmas" he looked at me before walking away. I just stood there with the things on my hands knowing that there was no way I could reach him. I sighed walking back to the room, the minute I got inside three pairs of eyes glued me.

"James was here" I saw how Kendall frowned as I gave the box to Mrs. Knight "He says that your doctor approves and that he doesn't want to intrude" I looked at Kendall when I said this and then I put the tree in the night table "He also brought this" I saw how Mrs. Knight looked at the tree frowning.

"I know this tree" she said looking at it like it was some sort of far away dream "I made it"

**Ahh this chapter was such a bitch to write! I had to start it over like 3 times!**

**So how was it? Haha Love it? Hate it? Review?**

**Now I´m off to get ready for my Christmas dinner yay! **

**Everyone, the best wishes! Have fun at your holidays, have lots of peace, love, work and the company of all the people you love and care about.**

**MERRY CHRISTMAS! And a huge internet hug for you!**

**Take care and I hope Santa gets you lots of presents lol**


	13. Chapter 12

CHAPTER 12

Kendall PoV

"What do you mean you made it?" I asked looking at the tree. It was about one and a half feet tall and it really looked handmade but I´d never knew my mother was a handcraft kind of person.

"It´s just…" she frowned looking at the tree "So familiar…did James buy it?" she asked Logan.

"No, his grandmother gave it to him…it´s the one he always put in his office" explained Logan making quite an emphasis on _always_…he was not going to make me feel bad for him only because he brought my mother some cute tree and some…cake?

"Cake? Really?" I said looking at my mother´s lit eyes when she opened the box.

"Oh it looks delicious" squeaked Carlos and I had to admit that yeah it did.

"When was the last time I had cake Kendall?" asked my mother making me think hard because it had been a while, not even in out birthdays we had bought cake because all the sugar and mass of it was bad for her health.

"The birthday before I finished high school" she smiled at this.

"Well then, I can´t eat it now because it´s kind of late but I will sure eat it tomorrow" she looked at Carlos "Want to take a slice?"

"Yes please" he got up "Let me see if the nurses have a knife and a plate or something" said this he darted out of the room.

"Okay then" sighed my mother "I´m sorry but baby, I´m really tired" she grasped my hand "I think it´s time for me to sleep"

"I know mom" I kissed her hand "It was nice to spend Christmas together for a change"

"Yes" she smiled and for the first time in the evening I saw how tired she really was, how pale she had become and how fragile she looked "It was worth it" at this Carlos came back and cut a piece of the cake. Then we all said our goodbyes and walked out of the room.

"How much does she have?" asked Logan in a stern voice.

"Less than two months" I shoved my hands on my pockets "This was our last Christmas together…thanks for joining us, it made the night a lot better" we arrived at the parking lot and I looked at the cars "Are you two leaving together or…?" I saw how they couldn't even look at each other, there was a whole new level of awkwardness around them, I was surprised that I hadn´t seen it before.

"I´ll go with you" spoke Carlos walking fast to the Cadillac making me raise my eyebrow.

"Okay can I ask what was that all about?" I looked at Logan who was biting his lip looking at the latino with a yearning gleam inside his eyes.

"It´s nothing" he said and moved to his car leaving me to roll my eyes and walk to the other car.

"Okay what´s up with you two?" I asked the minute Carlos and I were inside the car.

"N-nothing…we´ve never get along" he stuttered this with his cheeks bright red.

"Don't give me shit Carlos, there´s something else…besides you arrived together, why not leave together?"

"Because one awkward horrible trip is enough for a day" he mumbled "What happened with you and James?"

"I tell you my story if you tell me yours" I smiled seeing him huff.

"That´s not fair" he whined.

"Why not?" he opened and closed his mouth trying to find a good enough argument before pouting resigned.

"But you go first"

"Okay then" I started the engine seeing that Logan was no longer there "Ask away"

"How was the wedding?"

"Good…I don't remember much because I was fucking drunk" I chuckled "And he had to take care of me for a change…then I´m pretty sure something happened because we didn't have sex but I woke up naked…maybe some HJ´s" I took a side glance at Carlos who was red as a tomato "Come on Carlos, you can´t be that innocent"

"…shut up" he mumbled clearly mad for my amusement "And how was New York?"

"New York" I sighed passing a hand through my hair feeling a small tug in my heart at the thought of him with somebody else…I hated that I cared so much to be hurt "We met an old friend of his…gave me a makeover"

"What else? Why are you so mad at him that you left him to spend Christmas alone?" I grimaced at his hating how guilt was starting to bubble inside my soul.

"And you what? You left him too" I tried to change the subject not wanting to show how much he affected me…I was falling in places I shouldn't be in a business transaction such as this.

"We left because he didn't want us there with him…Kendall he was seeing a video of you, he was…"

"I don't fucking want to hear about his pity party Carlos" I growled "He cheated on me" I was glad I was driving and I had to look ahead because I couldn't bear the thought of facing my friend like that.

"…I´m sorry"

"You don't have to be, you didn't do anything" we arrived to the house and I turned off the car prior closing my eyes "For a moment I even thought I would start to see the man you talked to me about, the one that is your friend…but he turned into this heartless bastard over night…I really want to know why he hates me so much" I whispered "And the worst thing is that I don't really hate him…that I still want more of him…how is this even possible?"

"Love is forgiveness"

"There is no love between us"

"Are you sure?" I bit my lip…no, I was not sure of that "I saw Logan jerk off" my eyes shot open at his statement and I turned to see him turn a bright shade of red, I was really surprised he hadn´t turned neon.

"WHAT?"

"I-I was fixing the bathroom when h-he screamed m-my name" he looked down starting to play with his fingers "I ran to his room only to find him…" he swallowed "S-sleep, n-naked and…y-you k-know" he made a gesture with his hand.

"Masturbating" I smiled teasing him only to see him widen his eyes before covering his face with his hands.

"I´m such a pervert! I knew it was wrong but I stayed anyway!" he shouted making me laugh because that was something that didn't normally happen to people "A-and I-I…" he trailed off enough for me to understand what had happened to him.

"Oh my God! Carlos!" I turned to him "And he saw you, didn't he?" Carlos nodded "Wow…and when was this?"

"Y-yesterday morning" he mumbled.

"Wow, that explains the awkwardness…and have you talked about it or…?"

"Are you crazy?" he uncovered his face to look at me wide eyed "H-he must think I´m a pervert! He had barely started talking to me and now this happens!"

"Wait, wait…didn't you say he said your name?" I smiled seeing a small grin appear on his face.

"More than once"

James PoV

"Merry Christmas" I said at the glass of scotch I was holding before swallowing it in one gulp looking at the Christmas tree in front of me. The whole house was in darkness except from the lights of the tree and I was happy like that. I had even seen Logan walk from the entrance to his room but I made no attempt to announce my presence.

I sighed resting my head on the couch feeling the lightheadedness that came along the alcohol, but not even that had made me forget the look on my husband the minute he had awaken me that morning…pure disappointment, anger and –these were my hopes talking- hurt.

It was a good plan, to make him think things were right between us, gain his trust and then make something to cause him pain. To shove him away in favor of my friends, but that only lasted until I became blind in jealousy and strolled to him and kept him at my side, thinking that he was better in our room I had sent him there…not thinking that this was Kendall, that if he was mad at me he wouldn't do anything I said.

That I had learned when we were kids, now my mistake was to forget that fact.

Of course when I had arrived eager to get to him I had seen that it was empty…and of course I went back to the thing I knew better: whores "And what good did that do?" I asked the empty house knowing that things were really fucked up if I was beginning to ask myself what had happened to all the anger I had against him.

"I tell you, you have to talk to him" said his voice as I heard the front door opening.

"No Kendall, I´m not one to believe in fairy tales" answered Carlos´ voice "I´m tired, good night"

"Night"

I kept silent hearing doors opening and closing as I poured myself another glass knowing that no one would even ask what was I doing. For all they cared I could have another man in my room…Kendall probably thought that.

"Drunk and alone in Christmas…that´s a cliché" I froze hearing his voice from the side, I turned to look at him with my traitorous heart giving leaps of joy because he was there; even if his eyes were as icy as before "My mom liked the cake" he crossed his arms and rested his back on the wall "Why cake? You could´ve given her something else"

"Because the thing my mother wanted the most, apart from drugs, was a chocolate cake, and she died wanting one because I didn't have the money to buy her one that didn't make her health worse" he frowned at this stunned at my bluntness.

"How old were you?"

"Fourteen" I looked down "That´s how my father found out about me, social services contacted him"

"I´m sorry" I heard him say and somehow I knew he meant it.

"What are we going to do?" I stood up and walked to stand closer to him.

"I can´t do a thing, can I? If I do you´ll kick my mother away..."

"No I won´t" he narrowed his eyes looking at me "I know what I said back in New York but I won´t do it…fuck I even know why you think of me as a heartless prick" I passed a hand through my eyes "I promise you that even after this whole marriage is done I will still take care of her"

"Why?"

"Because it´s part of the deal…and I won´t break our deal any further" said this I began walking to my room "Move your stuff to the guest room next to mine, and Kendall" he looked up watching me through blank eyes "Merry Christmas" I turned my back to him and went to my room.

"…does it work?" I stopped at his words.

"Does what work?" I turned to look at him.

"That whole drunken pity act…does it work with other people?" he was wearing a grim smirk "I used to know a kid that acted a lot like you James" my breath got stuck in my throat hearing this "He enjoyed making others suffer because he was empty inside, he loved it…I pity that kid because in truth he had nothing, not one friend, not even his own father" he gave a dry chuckle "He was pathetic not noticing the real people that cared about him…sometimes I feel that you resemble that kid and because of that I can finally understand why you hate me" he moved away from the wall "Pathetic hate of a lonely kid, looking for something in the wrong places…calling others whores when he´s the one that jumps from one ass to another…calling names and insulting the wrong people…I hope that you have enough time to regret what you do James, because you do have people that care about you, you do have the friends that kid craved for…don't shove them away because you´re in pain, hold them tight because in this life nothing is forever and nothing is certain…we could all die tomorrow" a shadow appeared inside his eyes "Karma has always some funny ways to give us a lesson and I don't want you to end up like…like that kid" he sounded his throat "Merry Christmas" said this he practically ran to his room leaving me there, motionless and barely able to breathe.

He remembered that fat kid.

He remembered Jimmy.

He remembered me.

**So, perhaps this is uneventful, perhaps it isn't but I really needed Kendall to give a hint of what he thought about his past, and what better way to do it than to give James a full rant..and we also see some other feelings around there xD**

**I know it´s short! But I wanted to update today and I felt that it was the right place to end it.**

**Tell me what you think! And Happy New year!**


	14. Chapter 13

CHAPTER 13

Kendall PoV

I looked at the bed like it was poisonous because, in a way, I felt that it was. It was James´ bed; the bed where he took all his _other_ whores, the bed that kept reminding me how little he thought of me to cheat after less than a week of marriage…I was not happy with this and that bed kept mocking me pissing me off.

"He will be arriving at night with Katie" was saying James while he dressed inside of his enormous closet.

He was talking about his grandfather, the only reason I was able to make myself move inside his room. I fisted my hands wanting nothing more than to go back to my room, but we had to pretend, we had to be the cute newlyweds because that man was only there to see how real James´ marriage was…if he didn't think that, the whole inheritance thing would go to the dump.

"How long will he stay?" I managed to ask still looking at the bed not noticing that James had stopped moving to stare at me.

"It won´t bite you" he spoke walking to stand next to me "What did my bed do to you?" I swallowed not wanting to admit how much I hated that bed for already mentioned reasons, doing that would let a lot of feelings on the open and I was not ready to analyze them.

"Nothing…you haven't answer my question" I made myself look up only to be confronted by a very shirtless James…shit, now I was blushing.

"I don't know, he normally just stays at the New Year´s party and leaves two days after" he shrugged narrowing his eyes "How are you?" I frowned at the solemn tone of his voice.

"Good…why?" I dared to look at his eyes noticing that they were darker and more intense than usual.

"I stand my word" he talked not breaking his gaze "Everything I told you that night it´s true. I am sorry and I wish I wasn't so stupid for doing that to you" I lowered my eyes seeing how his hand moved up and for a second I was sure he would touch me or do something with it, but he appeared to thought better and let it fall down "Also about your mother"

"I know" I had no idea why I had whispered but everything felt so intimate, so close, that it felt weird to speak higher than that. The past three days I had successfully avoided him in order to think about that night, why had I told him all that stuff? The moment I had started talking, I knew he would laugh at me, he would look at me like I was crazy for even thinking about giving him advice on how to live his life…but he hadn´t. He had looked at me with his undivided attention, he had even looked thoughtful once I stopped my rambling and ran to my room.

"You still trust my word" he widen his eyes "H-how? After I did that to you" he shook his head "You shouldn't do that Kendall"

"Let me worry about my trust issues" I raised my shoulders giving one more glare to the bed prior walking to the door "When your grandfather comes…just give me a hands up before you start with the PDA" said this I exited the room and went to the kitchen hoping to find Carlos, I needed someone to get my mind of things "Hey Logan" I said finding the other brunette sitting on the island.

"Hey" he mumbled not looking up from the book he was reading, he had suspiciously been reading quite a lot sense Christmas. I sat looking at him knowing that there was nothing better to do with my time than teasing those two or finishing with the car cleaning…yeah I was more in the mood for teasing…and Logan was conveniently drinking coffee at the moment.

"So…I hear you are quite a screamer" I smirked when he spit his drink all over the island looking at me through big eyes "The maids said that…you don't like a bed unless you can jump a coin in it" he was completely blushed but he managed to compose himself still looking at me with weary eyes.

"I-I accept that I was being kind of harsh on them…Carlos let me know that" he looked down grimacing "H-he…H-he t-told you, didn't he?"

"Told me what?"

"Don't push it Kendall" he groaned letting his head fall to bump in the table "I don't know what to do"

"How do you feel about him?" he shook his head.

"It doesn't matter how I feel, I can´t do anything about it"

"Why not?" I frowned taken back. He sighed moving to look at me.

"After I…" he sounded his throat like it pained him to speak "After I told him he was s-stupid, he began to read, to try to be better than he already was…It was all because…"

"Because he wanted to be better for you" he shook his head again hearing my words.

"Maybe, maybe not but I don't deserve him…he´s…he´s amazing and I´m…" he sighed again "I´m older than him, and an asshole and…" he covered his face and groaned.

"You´ve fallen deep" I chuckled "Sense when do we get along this well?"

"Who knows?" he smiled "I knew you were a good guy sense you stepped up for Carlos, I´m just glad that you no longer want to smash my face"

"Yeah, Carlos told me about you while we were away and well…" I shut up seeing the latino walking from his room with his notebooks in his hands "Hey, ready for our lesson?" I asked.

"Sure" he smiled until he saw Logan "Hi"

"Hi…d-do you need some help?" he offered and I was tempted to do a happy dance after hearing him.

"I-if you want" they both looked at their eyes prior looking down completely blushed…how could they not get how cute they were together? And now I was turning into a _girl_…awesome.

"Well that´s awesome because I was looking for a chance to visit my mother and sense Logan here" they were both looking at me like I was crazy "Will help you, I might get a chance to do it" I smiled "Bye!" said this I waved my hand and walked out of the kitchen only to find James standing out.

"Did something happen between those two?" he asked amused "I´ve seen them even more awkward than usual"

"Yeah…" I looked at him remembering the way he talked about his mother, I hated to admit that his gifts to her had hit a soft spot in me because they were really thought off, not just because he wanted to make a good impression "How about I tell you on the way to the hospital?"

"Sure…wait, do you want me to go with you?" he smiled the most happy and childish smile I had ever seen on him.

"Y-yeah…she wants to meet you" I shoved my hands on my pockets.

"Okay, let´s go" he took my hand and began walking to the entrance "Be back before six lovebirds! You can be as noisy as you want! You have the house just for you!" he yelled making me smile prior getting out of the house.

James PoV

We were inside the car and I was having a little war inside of me. I was happy and excited he had willingly asked me to go with him to meet his mother. I felt more honored by that than when I was awarded as one of the hottest male businessman…and he was still looking at me like a mad person. Then there was the other part of me, I was terrified of meeting his mother for two reasons, one because well, it was his mother and I needed to make a good impression –for some motive I refused to think about this marriage in just a six months basis…and that was troubling seeing that even if he obviously was attracted to me, nothing was telling me that he wanted to stay further than agreed- and second, because there was a small possibility that she could recognize me.

"Anything I need to know before I meet her?" I asked once we were close enough.

"She thinks we´re hopelessly in love, but you already knew that" he raised his shoulders "I´m kind of touchy so she expects PDA" I raised my eyebrow taking a side glance seeing him completely blushed.

"We could still go with the angry thing…if you want" we arrived and I parked the car not getting out waiting for his answer.

"No…she knows me, I might be hard headed and all but I don't hold grudges for long" he sighed passing his hand through his face "Lets go" said this he got out and I followed him until we were right in front of her room "I hate lying to her" he whispered looking troubled. I clenched my jaw thinking that I hated when he looked like that so, I took his hand and made him look at me.

"Hey, it will make her happy and I´m here…I won´t bail on you" he smiled probably remembering that he had said those same words to me in the day of our wedding.

"Okay then, time to do this" he opened the door "Hey" he greeted his mother walking to hug her and kiss her cheek. I swallowed sensing dark memories trying to get inside my head…mothers, they had always been a contradicting memory for me.

"Hi baby, how are you?" she smiled and I felt a pang in my heart seeing the woman for the first time in years. I remembered her as a strong, redheaded woman, always smiling and being kind to me…not this fragile shadow that was resting in the bed, if it was hard for me to see her I couldn't imagine how was for Kendall to take care of her each day.

"Great…mom, I have someone here I want you to meet" said this he stretched his hand looking for mine, I took it intertwining my fingers with his feeling his heat as a comforting pressure "Mom, meet James…James, this is my mother Jenny"

"Hello" she offered me her hand and I shook it.

"H-hi, nice to meet you" I sounded my throat hating my stutter and hoping it wouldn't come back full force. I looked at Kendall who was wearing a weird smile looking at me.

"You are as handsome as Kendall said you were" I raised an eyebrow, well that was nice to hear.

"Well that´s good news" I saw how embarrassed Kendall was and not resisting I raised my hand to caress his jaw "He is quite a looker himself…now I see that it´s because of his mother" at this Kendall rolled his eyes and Mrs. Knight giggled.

"Oh you just say that because you didn't meet his father when he was young, Kendall looks just like my husband" at this Kendall glared at his mother.

"I´m nothing like that man" he hissed "Have you eaten yet? I´ll go get you something" and just like that he was out leaving me frowning and completely confused, last thing I knew was that Mr. Knight was Kendall´s hero…what happened to them?

"My husband was…" she started explaining when I asked out loud "Different than the way you remember him" I froze hearing her.

"W-what?" _fucking stutter._

"James I know you…or should I say Jimmy" I felt my lungs give out and I backed one step feeling like someone had punched me after being called that name.

"Don't call me like that" I shook my head knowing that there was no point in denying.

"I won´t tell Kendall" she lost her smile "We need to talk James…"

"I know" I nodded, I wanted to know about Kendall as much as I could, I wanted to understand how he had ended up being the person he was now "How did you find out?"

"Your tree" she pointed at the small tree next to her "I made it, well your grandma helped me, and when you had to leave I gave it to her as a gift for being the incredible person she was" she sighed "And your eyes, you always had those gorgeous hazel eyes"

"But I´ve chanced…Kendall…"

"Kendall…he doesn't _let _himself recognize you…he…" she shut up when Kendall re entered the room looking grim.

"Sorry" he said looking at me "What did I miss?"

"Nothing" I raised my shoulders taking his hand liking that he grasped it like he also needed it "You didn't bring food" at this Mrs. Knight started laughing noticing Kendall´s stunned face before he also began laughing the most obnoxious laugh I had ever heard. I grinned seeing him smiling brightly.

"Yeah…sorry mom, want me to go?" he asked stopping his laugh, it was one of those times where there´s not even a great joke but you laugh hard because it made you happy.

"No, I´m not hungry" she shook her head "I´m a little tired, maybe you two should go to eat and let me sleep a little" I noticed how the light inside Kendall´s eyes extinguished at her words but I admired him for keeping his happy charade.

"Sure, be good mom" he walked to kiss her forehead "I love you" I fisted my hands hearing his chocked goodbye, all I wanted to do was to hug him and tell him that things would be okay, that I was there for him.

"I love you too" she said and then I saw her opening her arms for me so I walked letting her hug me when Kendall moved out of the way.

"Take care of him, and please come one day so we can talk" she whispered in my ear "I´m so glad to see you"

"Tomorrow" I said "Bye" I stood up and walked out to following Kendall and for the first time I was witness of how Kendall´s walls trembled after seeing his mother. I took two steps and hugged him, at first he was tense, probably expecting everything but a hug from me. Then slowly his hands traveled to my back hugging me too and then he tensed again taking a step back.

"No…I can´t" he covered his face with his hands and took a deep breath "Come on, let´s meet your grandfather"

Carlos PoV

I was looking down sure that every drop of my blood was in my face right now. It just got worse after hearing James before they went away. I bit my lip not wanting to seem even more stupid in front of him.

"O-okay" began Logan sounding his throat "That´s really good…you are improving really fast" said Logan once we finished with the lectures Kendall had left for today.

"Yeah…" I said knowing that being that I already knew how to read in Spanish and to speak in English I just had to learn the translations and it was coming quite easily for me "I just have to practice" he nodded.

"I have some books, I can lend them to you and if you don't get a word or something you can ask me…I don't think there is much to teach you other than what you can learn on your own" he stood up "Come on, let´s see if one of them catches your eye" I swallowed and followed him to his room, but once we were inside I froze. There it was, his bed. The image of his flustered body on it surfaced back into his mind, the sounds he made, the way he came lose calling me, the way…

"Carlos?" I jumped hearing him calling me, he had a couple of books in his hands and was looking at me frowning…until his eyes followed my line of sight and saw his bed. I lift my eyes seeing his chocolate ones darken, then he raised them crashing into my own…and I could not hold back any longer.

I moved to take the books out of his hands and put them on the ground, I cupped his face caressing his cheek sensing his fast breathing and I moved forward letting my lips ghost around his barely touching them until I couldn't take it any longer and I kissed him.

**Ugh it´s been a while xD I was blind for a week so I have an excuse lol but I had to go back to them! Oww and if you review a lot I promise to have a new chapter up for Friday xD so its up to you!**

**Well, what do you guys think? Hehe I know someone that will have a lot to say about this one, I hope you read it! And have lots of Mexican food while you read it lol**

**Like it? Hate it? Review?**


	15. Chapter 14

CHAPTER 14

Carlos PoV

I kissed him hard knowing that all I wanted to do was to take everything he was willing to give me. I moved my hand to his waist pulling him to me groaning when his growing erection met mine for a second as his hands moved to the back of my head tangling them in my hair sending shivers down my spine. Out of pure instinct I let my tongue caress his lip and letting it explore his mouth when he sighed opening it for me. I felt him shiver as I touched a sweet spot pulling my body making our hips meet for the second time creating delicious friction in our clothed dicks.

"Carlos" he hissed as I moved my lips to his jaw and neck nibbling and sucking his skin leaving small marks all over his pale collar. I pushed him until he bumped on the bed and ended up laying on it as I climbed on top. His eyes were blown and dark, his lips were swollen and his hair messy making him the most gorgeous being I had ever seen.

"You are so beautiful" I whispered pulling him for a kiss once again loving the small whine he emitted once my hand found the hem of his shirt and traveled inside finally caressing his skin. He moaned opening his legs letting me rest between them while I pushed up his shirt until he shoved me away; I froze for a second until I saw him taking the shirt away, after he did it he rested on his elbows looking at me in the eye.

"I see an awful lot of clothes on you" he said in a breathless voice. I smirked taking my shirt away and ducking to kiss him even more, I was beginning to think that I could be obsessed about his lips.

Logan PoV

I moaned when his hands found my nipples pressing and massaging them until they were hard and very, very sensitive "Shit" I arched my back when he changed his fingers for his tongue and lips "Carlos, just…ngh"

"What do you want?" he rose and for a second I lost my breath. Most of the traces of the adorable blushing guy were gone, replaced by this Mexican sex god, his black eyes looking at me like he wanted to eat me, his skin glowing with sweat and his strong body above mine making me feel small and so freaking turned on.

"You" I rolled my hips and he fucking growled before taking my lips in a fiery kiss. Two second later we were on our boxers grinding each other like horny teenagers. It felt so good and so right that the small rational part that still existed in my brain wondered of how on earth had I lived with a woman for so long denying this to myself.

I bit my lip feeling his hands grip my ass before going to the hem of my boxers and taking them down. He stood on his knees watching me, my cock twitching in response of his possessive glare. He moved forward kissing my chest as his hand encircled my erection "Fuck!" I moaned moving my head to the side, his hands were rough and strong thanks for all the work he did around the house, and personally, they fucking felt like heaven.

"Did you dream about this?" he asked and all I could think about was _who was this person?_ "Me finishing you off, making you crazy" I trembled at the impact his words were having in my body. He continued marking my neck not stopping the movement of his hand "Or perhaps…" he kissed the back of my ear and I moved my hands to grasp his arms needing something to hold on to "Sucking you?" I felt my insides shake at his words and I knew I couldn't hold any longer. I pushed him rolling us so I was on top. I groaned ducking my head to his neck giving him the same amount of attention he had given me, he moaned moving his hands to squeeze my ass as he lifted his clothed erection to meet mine. I shook my head before moving to take off his boxers finally seeing him completely naked…I licked my lips at the sight of his hard manhood and not thinking any further I fisted it and lowered my head letting my eyes connect with his as I let my tongue travel through it following the path of his vein.

"Logan" he panted one hand on my hair and the other on the bed. I moved to suck his tip doing circular motions with my finger watching him trash in arousal. I swallowed relaxing my throat prior opening my lips and letting his cock slide inside my mouth smirking at the obscene noise he let out as I did this. I sucked him slowly at first, letting me savor him while my tongue roamed through him; then I swallowed once more prior speeding my movement. Carlos was moaning my name like a prayer along with more than one word in Spanish that I really had no idea what it meant "Lo-gan…wait, I´m…" he didn't even get a chance to finish before he came inside my mouth with a strangled yell. I swallowed his cum prior moving up making sure he saw me licking my lips. He smiled half breathlessly as his hand found mine pulling me to meet him in a slow kiss.

"I need you" I breathed between kissed sensing his erection growing back "Fuck me" he continued kissing me, for a second I thought he hadn´t heard him until I saw his hand reaching out for my night table and getting the small bottle of lotion I had there. I moved to sit on his stomach as he coated his fingers and I moved forward letting him access my backside moaning as his finger massaged the area around my hole. I let my face hid on the crook of his neck. This probably was not the best position to do this but he didn't complain so I didn't move.

Carlos PoV

I stretched him in the same way I had seen him do it. I felt his face next to mine, his hands griping me like I was the only thing he could hold on as he moaned and whispered my name time after time. When he was lose enough I let out my fingers hearing him whimper at the lost. He kissed me one more time before resting on his thighs licking his hand and lubricating my cock before slowly sitting on it.

"Dios…Logan!" I moaned when I was completely inside of him. He was breathing hard resting his face on my chest getting used to the feeling; I bit my lip and rolled up my hips testing him, he moaned burying his nails in my sides. I continued with that same slow phase until he sighed straightening up and moving his hips up and down.

"So good" he groaned as we sped up our rhythm and not much after he was practically bouncing in my lap. I moved my hips looking for that sweet spot I had heard James talk about "Carlos! Right there! YES!" he yelled grasping my knees telling me that I had found it. I saw that his movements were getting slower, probably because he was getting tired, so I pulled him to me rolling our bodies, he crossed his legs behind my back as I fucked him even harder "Oh God!" he grasped the headboard making it crash the wall every time I moved back inside of him.

"Almost there" I let my face fall on his chest nipping and biting his skin as ne nodded probably really close himself. I moved to fist his dick and began stroking him.

"OH SHIT!" he screamed as he came in my hands. His whole body trembled and his insides contracted making me see stars as I followed him through the abyss yelling his name filling his insides with my seed. I rode him through my orgasm until I had nothing left and I laid on top of him panting, knowing that he would be sore later I got out and moved to lay at his side not really looking at him "That couldn't have been your first time" he spoke "Carlos?" I kept quiet because, yeah it had been and I had no idea where all _that_ had even come from, I had tried to do it with women before but it had never worked, and since I found out about my crush on him I hadn´t been able to do it with anybody else "Shit…Carlos, look at me" he asked moving to his side and stretching his hand to turn my face to him, he was smiling and I could see a shine inside his eyes that I had never seen before "Thank you" he moved to rest his forehead against mine looking at me in the eye while his hand caressed my cheek, I closed my eyes and kissed him, letting our lips dance together knowing that I had never been happier in my entire life.

Kendall PoV

When I was little I had to endure constant criticism from coaches, my father's coworkers, associates and even family. While this happened I had held my head up high, proud of whom I was. Proud of what I had achieved…now, now I was about to break under the cold gaze of one of the most powerful men in the world and his wife, all because I was the husband of their only heir. Me, a fucking thief who barely had finished high school and had to spend days without food to feed his dying mother…to say that I wasn't feeling much proud of myself would be an understatement.

"So, Kendall" I lifted my eyes to meet the man's "What do you do?"

"Nothing right now" I shrugged knowing that the best way to hide something was to tell the truth. James appeared to think the same being that he hadn't reacted to my words "I was James' driver, I guess that now I'll still move Katie around and help around the house but I'm not sure what to do now that I don't need the job…perhaps I can go to the ice rink and help"

"And what would you do there?" at this James did roll his eyes.

"Stop with the police investigation old man" my husband said taking my hand "Kendall here, it's an awesome hockey player; you want to help the coach, don't you?" I blinked surprised at this; I didn't even know he knew about hockey.

"Yeah" I looked at him seeing his sly smirk "I like kids, so I guess that it would be fun to do something for them…and also my mother asked me to go visit the kids at the hospital, I guess I could do that too"

"That's good" said this he went back to eat leaving the table in an uncomfortable silence, the only sound was the constant tinkling of the silverware. At the moment it was just Katie, Mr. and Mrs. Diamond, James and I…Carlos and Logan were probable knocked out in bed after the noisy greeting we had once we got back from the hospital "Is Carlos around?" James and I smiled hearing him but I choose to let James answer this one thinking that he knew better on how to deal with his family.

"He's probably sleep after his sex session with Logan" Or maybe he wasn't. I rolled my eyes and slapped myself in the forehead noticing the stunned expressions on the other members of the family.

"I knew those two were up to something!" screamed Katie breaking the tension "Their awkward sexual tension was so sharp I was sure I could cut it with a knife" she nodded looking triumphal.

"Katie!" scolded Mrs. Diamond "James! Please watch your tongue when your sister's around, it's a lot to get around the idea of you being with another man to add on top of that your friend's sexual behavior" I blinked not liking her tone, James smirked even wider, just then I knew that he had done that to piss off the woman.

"Oh that's PG rating _granny_, I can be a lot more explicit if you want" the woman was turning red now looking at him with pure disgust when Mr. Diamond decided to speak.

"Well about time" at this even my mouth fell open.

"Nicholas! How can you say that?" exclaimed the woman with such theatrics that she kind of reminded me of James when he was being a drama queen, yeah no one could mess with his hair unless they wanted a whole dramatic scene.

"Shush woman, if you visited this house more often you could know that those two had been dancing around each other for years now…just that the _bright _doctor hadn't realized it" raising an eyebrow I turned to James who had changed his grin for a content expression. Finn had been right, those two really loved each other but they also loved to fight.

"This is nuts, I will not stay in this place further than New Year, you can stay your three weeks on your own" she shook her head letting her napkin on the table and leaving the room.

"Did she just say three weeks?" asked James in a stern voice.

"Yes, I'm quite worn-out from work so I decided to take some vacations, and what better place than Los Angeles…also, for this to happen you have to take care of H.Q. in Washington, also I need you to go to Japan to close a couple of deals, my assistant must've sent you all the information by now" he said this with such calm that one could think that he was asking him to go get some bread instead of working in a million dollar corporation.

"When do you need me to leave?" again with the serious voice, it was kind of unsettling to hear him speak like that, somehow I had gotten used of his emotional tone, being mad or…something else, he rarely closed like this to me.

"The fist" I bit my lip at this, I knew I had nothing to say about their business but the thought of him leaving for weeks was kind of disturbing, I hated that I had gotten used to his presence so easily "Well, the food was delicious thank you and now I have to go and try to make my wife a less bitter person" he huffed standing up and going to his room.

"It's not fair" mumbled Katie looking at us "Why does he have to make you leave like this? Just say no and tell him to send someone else"

"Sorry baby sis, but for the moment he owns my butt" sighed James.

"I thought Kendall did" she grinned making me blush, I was with Mrs. Diamond in this one, she knew too much to be only ten.

"Yeah, but let's let grandpa think that he does, that way he keeps the money coming" smiled James taking my hand "Go unpack, and don't get close to Logan's room if you don't want to get scarred for life"

"I know, good thing it's far from mine" said this Katie stood up and walked away leaving us alone.

"It's a trap" I groaned passing a hand through my face.

"I know, but there's nothing we can do about it" he rested his elbows in the table looking thoughtful "I guess we have to clear most of his suspicions before I leave, that way he won´t bother you too much" he stood up "Want to go for a swim?"

"It´s night"

"So? Better, that way no one will disturb us"

"I don't have a swim suit" or in other words, I didn't think I could stand being with him barely dress and wet without doing things I might regret later.

"Who said we needed one?" I raised an eyebrow looking at him; he rolled his eyes "I can lend you one"

"It´s cold outside"

"The pool´s acclimatized" he raised his hand "Come on, if you get cold I´ll keep you warm"

"Are you flirting with me?" I couldn't help but smile at his little _innocent _expression before he took my hand and made me follow him to his room.

I felt my heart beating fast like every time he touched me, just like a couple of hours earlier when he hugged me back in the hospital. I had been about to crack right there, I couldn't do that because I knew that once I broke I wouldn't be able to go back so I had to pushed him away knowing that it was the last thing I wanted.

We arrived at the room and walked to his dresser where he tossed me a swimsuit and began undressing, I bit my lip suddenly self conscious, he had already seen me naked but doing something so mundane threw me off balance. Groaning at my own stupidity I shook my head and began undressing in harsh movements. The last thing I wanted was to fall deeper than I already was, I couldn't do that because no one knew better than me that this could not last longer than six months, and even if he was acting civil and nice to me, it didn't mean that he thought of me better than the whore he had to marry to keep his money….and I hadn´t even started to think about how apparently I had already forgiven him for cheating on me.

"First my bed, now the clothes…are you sure you´re good?" he asked amused when I was done.

"Yeah" I walked out knowing that he was following with a mocking grin on his face. As I exited the room we saw Carlos and Logan trying to walk down the stairs without being noticed, they both had their hair messed up and were looking at each other like they were the last drop of water in the dessert…also Logan was making a big pained face every time he climbed down a step.

"Well, well if it isn't the screamer and the labor boy, aren't you two adorable" began James making them stop dead prior turning their heads to us completely blushed "Next time, keep it lower for Katie´s sake" the nodded slowly and then practically ran to the kitchen making us laugh "Come on" he took my hand and leaded me to the back yard and then the pool, once we were there he took off his shirt and crossed his arms looking at me.

"What?" I spat trying hard not to notice how freaking sexy he looked with his arms folded like that showing off his muscles.

"Take off your shirt and come on" I huffed and took it off and just when I wanted to snap at him and ask him if he was happy he promptly pushed me to the water.

"Hey!" I screamed coughing just as he dived in and came out at the other side of the pool. I shook my head annoyed at him noticing that, as he said, he water was hot enough to be comfortable. I sighed and began swimming around thinking that it had been a heck lot of time since I was this relaxed. I had no idea how long I had been swimming when, out of nowhere, I felt something close on my ankle pulling me back and the next thing I knew was that I was pressed between the edge of the pool and James. Fuck.

"I was thinking" he said terribly close to me but not an inch of skin touching me "No marriage its final until there is sexual intercourse between the couple" I swallowed at this trying to slow the crazy beating of my heart. James was looking at me with such intensity that I was sure he would kiss and fuck me senseless in that second if I let him.

"You won´t force me" a little voice inside my head laughed at this, like he freaking needed to.

"No, we both know that that didn't work quite well last time" this was a surprise; I had honestly thought that I had been the only one freaked out about it.

"But I do promise you this Kendall, you will be the one asking me to fuck you before new year" and like he was sealing a deal, he moved forward and kissed me, hard and possessively making his point very clear. I sensed my knees go weak like every time he approached me, my hands itched to feel him, to knot in his hair, but I kept them at my sides; it was weird that I was losing myself like this being that only our mouths were touching. He ended the kiss and my heart ached seeing his smug smirk proving me that It was all a game to him and that I had to do everything in my power to shield myself or things wouldn't end up well after he was done.

**See what your reviews do? They are my fuel! So keep them coming people :)**

**Hum…I think I´ve never done sex like that before, I´ve already told you, emotional-good-loving-sex its my thing, I know its not too Animalistic-Cargan-Sex, I just couldn't do it, but I hope you guys like it xD**

**Well a lot of stuff happened here, what do you think? Love it? Hate it? Review?**

**Take care!**


	16. Chapter 15

CHAPTER 15

James PoV

I was in my car grasping the steering wheel. I was not sure if I wanted to get out anytime soon, if I did that and went inside the hospital I knew I would have to dust out my past, my feelings and my fears…and I refused to do that. I closed my eyes taking deep breaths trying to get rid of the oppression in my chest before opening the car and walking inside before my courage abandoned me. I nodded to the nurse that was getting out of Mrs. Knight´s room and walked in. She was on her bed with her eyes closed, for I second I was tempted to go back and let her rest, but then she opened her eyes and gave me a tired smile.

"Hello sweetie" I smiled at her feeling a pang in my heart at her pet name, no one had talked like that to me in a long time, she had said it with kindness and warmth…I lost my smile looking down, she wouldn't be so gentle with me if she knew what I had done to her son.

"Hi, how are you feeling?" I walked to sit on the couch next to the bed looking at her.

"I´m good" I grimaced noticing how lifeless her eyes looked but she still pretended to be cheery and happy.

"I´m not Kendall Mrs. Knight…you don't have to be strong for me" she closed her eyes for a moment prior letting out a breath and I saw how she _melted_ in the bed, when she reopened them, they were watery and drained.

"I´m sure you have lots of questions" she murmured looking at me.

"I´m sure you have some of your own" I rested my elbows on my knees "What happened to you?"

She sighed "Perhaps I should start at the beginning. From the outside our life seemed perfect, we had money, we appeared to be happy…the truth was that we weren't" she looked at me "Kendall lost his father far before he died. He was sick, he was addicted to gambling…he had affairs" she fisted her thin hands "I´m sure Kendall saw him with another woman more than once even if he still denies it" I grasped the couch thinking about the kid I had known, thinking about a boy that knew his family was falling apart and couldn't do a thing about it.

"He didn't look unhappy" I said stubbornly remembering the way he had treated me.

"You know him James…he can be breaking to dust on the inside but he won´t let nobody see" her face paled "I don't even know how hard it has been for him…there is so much he doesn't tell me to keep me safe, I just hope that he hasn't gone too deep…all this it would be much better if he told you, only he knows how his life has been for the past decade" she shoot me a meaningful glare "How are things for you two?"

"Better I guess" I looked down hating that I had to lie to an ill woman "We´re working on it"

"Can you answer me something, looking at me right in the eye?" I raised my gaze swallowing "Was your marriage a deal, so he could put me here?" I opened my mouth stunned at her words. I had no clue on what to say or do, so I let out a big breath and nodded.

"I needed to get married because if I didn't I couldn't inherit my father´s company, and two people depend on me…he was worried about you and somehow we talked about it and we agreed that it was the best for both of us" she passed a hand trough her face "But of course he doesn't want you to know"

"I won´t tell him. I hate that he had to do something like this for me…at least he ended up with you and not with some heartless asshole that could force him and make him even more miserable than he already is" her words were like a kick in the gut for me, because that was exactly what I was to him…I just hoped that I was able to mask my discomfort "He got married thinking about me and I didn't end my marriage thinking about Kendall, we have a fun way to show that we care" she let out a dry laugh "It was better if he had the best things possible. Little I knew that in truth we had nothing left" I frowned waiting until she continued speaking "My husband died and he left us with a debt so big I had to start working again just to keep a small house for the both of us" a small smile appeared in her face completing her dreamy look "My baby didn't complain once…he didn't like it, he was used to the great life, but if he trashed and cursed his new one he never let me know. He began working and going to school, Mrs. Vazquez helped us out" I nodded remembering the other maid, she was a nice and gentle woman, it didn't surprise me that she had been the one to help them out "It was a nice year, Kendall played hockey in the public rink and made some friends…I like to think that he was happy, until one day I blacked out" she closed her eyes "I don't remember much of it and Kendall refuses to tell me how exactly he got the money to take me to the hospital" I swallowed looking down, she probably had the same idea as I, after all I had caught Kendall stealing in my own home, who could say that it had been his first one? "They diagnosed me with Leukemia and I had chemo for the next year, it was hard for him…the drugs make you dizzy, sick and all that ache plays with your emotions" I couldn't move when I saw a small tear make its way through her eye, she didn't even try to clean it "I hate that I let out my frustrations on him…he never took a grudge, he never talked back…he was just seventeen" her lip trembled as she lifted her hand to her mouth suffocating a sob.

I covered my face with my hands feeling unsteady and impotent. When she had asked me to meet her to talk I had thought that she might tell me in big terms what had happened, I had never imagined that she would literally tell me everything. I took a shaky breath having an internal battle, the little tormented kid inside of me refused to soften hearing her words…but the man that knew and fucking_ cared_ about Kendall now, wanted nothing more than to make things right for him for once. I shook my head lowering my hands, when I turned to look at the woman she was gazing intently at me.

"After the chemo I was healthy for a little more than a year, Kendall got to finish high school and thanks to hockey he earned a complete scholarship to UCLA" she widen her eyes "Don't tell him I told you that"

"That he won a scholarship?" I frowned taken back.

"He thinks I don't know" she grimaced "I relapsed a couple of weeks before his graduation, he turned down the scholarship and started working his ass out to try to get chemo again…but it was not enough, I started getting sicker and sicker, and I´ve been like this for more than six months now" she looked down "It´s been so long since I saw him exited over…anything" she moved to pierce me with her big eyes "Why haven't you told Kendall who you really are?" I stood up not having the strength to stand her inquisitive glare and the tension currently running through my body.

"Because…" I put my hand on the pockets of my jeans having a sudden vision of myself ten years ago, where my huge belly forbidden me to do that same action as a kid´s laugh echoed in my ears…and then things changed and I saw the lost look inside Kendall´s eyes last night in the pool, he looked vulnerable and eager to rest, to let everything go, to…

"What are you doing here?" I tensed hearing him at the door. I shook my head trying to get a hold of my emotions prior turning to see him. He was wearing a grey beanie that I had learned to love because he never took it off, a green tee that made his eyes pop, a pair of back skinny jeans and a grey sweater…he looked so good and his face showed no other emotion than confusion that for a second I wanted to believe that he hadn´t been through everything his mother had said.

Plus all the other things he had succeeded on keeping them a secret.

"I came to visit your mom of course" he frowned, his eyes bare of any emotion, I kind of hated that he looked at me like that, it was a lot like the old days. Also I had started to like seeing his very emotion through his emerald gaze.

"Oh…hi mom" he walked to hug and kiss her and I saw how Mrs. Knight looked good again…damn those two were huge actors, just pretending that things were fine to not see the other one suffer. I had never had someone like that in my life.

"Hey baby" she greeted "How have you been?"

"Great actually" he gave her an open grin "I went to the hockey rink, I´ll be helping the coach with the teens…even if they scare the shit out of me" he chuckled.

"I don't like that" I spoke getting his attention "I might get jealous that any of them take interest in the teacher" I walked taking his hand in mine "I might have to visit you so they know you´re taken" I pulled his hand up turning it so I could kiss the sensitive skin on his inner wrist. I grinned when he sucked a breath before I let him lower his hand "I should go, my grandfather might be making my employees crazy" I went where Mrs. Knight was laying and kissed her cheek.

"Rest, later we´ll talk a little more but I think I´m okay for now"

"Okay" she nodded. I moved back and before Kendall could react I grabbed his waist, pulled him to me and pecked him in the corner of his lips.

"See you later" I whispered.

"Yeah" I grinned at his stunned expression prior walking outside the room and back to my car.

If someone asked me how the hell I arrived to the office…I had no idea. The next minutes had been a complete blur to me. A blur filled with scenes from my past and present, the little kid colliding with the man I was now. It was hard to think of Kendall as the same kid that bullied me years ago, I knew that at the beginning I had been able to do this, to channel my hate to him even if I didn't really knew a thing about him…but now that I really knew him, that I knew his story and what he had sacrificed for the person he loved the most, I realized that stubbornness was the only thing keeping me from forgiving him. I chuckled at the ease that thought gave me, I really had no idea when I had decided that I didn't give a fuck of who he had been ten years ago, that I just cared about the man that slept next to me, the man that was exited to teach kids his favorite sport, the one that willingly spent his afternoon teaching one of my best friends to read because he knew how important it was for him…the man that gave me advice even if I had ashamed him treating him like nothing more than a whore.

"When did I become such a bad person?" I asked my grandma´s portrait, the only personal thing I had in my office. In that photo she was smiling while hugging me, I was about four years old, still skinny as a four year old should be, that was one of the reasons I loved that photo. I grimaced almost hearing my crazy grandmother yell at me for doing that to him, for not thinking of his feelings. I sighed, she had been sweet and loved to help people, but at the same time she had been a strong minded woman and didn't give a shit about who was there to hear her rant, only because of her Mrs. Diamond hadn´t sent me to boarding school the minute she found out her son had a bastard.

"I can hear your brain working from here" came my grandfather´s voice from the door; he came in without waiting for an invite and sat at the chair in front of my desk.

"What did you think of Kendall?" I inquired looking at the sea through the big window behind me still troubled about all the new knowledge I had received.

"I think it´s all a fake" he deadpanned. I nodded slowly still not looking at him.

"Figured you´ll say something like that" I mumbled "Do you love your wife?" he sighed like every time I refused on calling her grandmother, she had been nothing but a bitch to me since I got in their lives, she was not my grandmother…the only times I called her something like that was to insult her or be overly polite. Nicholas was another story, we were different yes and we fought a fucking lot, but at the same time he had been the only one taking me like real family besides my father.

"Of course I do" he answered eventually.

"And how did you know? How could you define everything that you felt about her in just one word" I rested my elbows on the desk and rested my chin in my hands looking at him connecting our gazes. He narrowed his eyes tilting his head a little to the side.

"Is this about Kendall?" I rolled my eyes letting out a breathless chuckle.

"No old man, it´s about the fucking milkman…" he shook his head clearly not approving my behavior, well sorry but I had no energy to be anything else at the moment "Of course it´s about him"

"I decided that it was love when nothing else could define how I really feel about her" he shrugged and I felt my stomach drop because that came quite close to how I felt, but I refused to call my feelings love, it was too soon, to risky. Yeah, maybe I was ready to let go of the past, but I was not ready to let myself out there again, and much less to the person that had shattered my heart before "Are you okay James?"

"Yeah…just distracted" I shook my head sick of all the thinking and worrying, this had been a long day "I´ll get to work, might get home late; tell them to not wait for me for dinner"

"Again with the working" he huffed "You really need to…"

"It´s the first time I come in weeks" I smiled seeing his raised eyebrows, it was the first time that I took vacations, normally I rested on Christmas day, New Year´s eve and the first day of the year "I´ve just arrived a couple of hours ago, I need to leave everything ready before my trip" and I needed my head occupied on other stuff so I wouldn't dwell on my feelings much longer.

"Very well then" he nodded standing up "See you later son" I inclined my head as a goodbye, took a deep breath and turned on my computer prior pressing the interphone "Mia please bring me an _urgent_ list and get ready to work"

Kendall PoV

I sighed entering his room hoping for a good night sleep. Last night I had barely slept at all being in constant alert, sensing the heat come to me through the covers, hearing his faint breathing and being overly conscious of every move he made. Now he had kindly informed that he would come home late, so I could get to sleep without being worried about his proximity and rest for once. I took away my clothes putting on just my sleeping pants and dragging myself to bed. It had been a tiring day, the kids at the hockey rink were filled with energy and excitement, it was nice to have those emotions around for a change, but fuck I was exhausted and sore not having done that much physical work in a while.

I moved the covers aside and laid in there snuggling in the softness that surrounded me. I still resented the bed and felt weird knowing its history, but it was so fucking comfortable that in that moment, that bed was my best friend. I sighed closing my eyes and hoping for sleep to come.

Any moment now….

Perhaps if I change my position I could…

Maybe I should just lie and don't move…

"You´ve got to be fucking kidding me" I glared at the ceiling knowing that yeah, I maybe was tired as hell but for some strange reason I wasn't sleepy at all. I moved to rest on my elbows looking around for something to do, my eyes landed on James´ TV and I decided that it wouldn't matter if I saw a movie. I stretched to the other side of the bed and took the remote from his night table and turned it on. Getting more bored by the minute I began looking for something interesting through the program guide and smiling when I found a rerun of one of my favorite shows, Supernatural, and settled for it getting more comfortable and trying not to think about James…which was hard to do because watching two hot guys battling demons and monsters made me think about the fucking Adonis that was my husband, and more importantly, made me think about his current mission on getting on my pants by New Year with my complete permission…still thought that it was kind of lame that I was getting worried about what he might do when I knew that all he had to do was fucking kiss me like that first time and I would become goo under his touch…embarrassing yes, but I was not in the mood for shit, I knew that he had me in the palm of his hand since the beginning so why bother denying it? Of course, outside of my head I would never accept such a thing.

"I like that episode" I jumped hearing him. I looked at the door where he was smiling at me gazing at me through amused eyes "Didn't mean to scare you"

"Of course you didn't" I mumbled reaching for the remote to turn off the TV.

"No, wait, let´s finish it at least" said this he closed the door and began undressing staying just in his boxers, he walked to the bathroom where I heard him wash his teeth and then he came back, got to bed putting his pillows against the headboard and resting while watching the show. I kept my sight up front trying really hard not to steal a glance on his direction. I had pulled my knees to my chest in an attempt of hiding how ridiculously tense I was for having him right there next to me, it was odd how mundane activities like this made me so uneasy, when I could be perfectly fine with sharing a table with him or staying in the same car…something was not right with me "You look tense" he observed and I took this as an excuse to turn to look at him.

"Hockey" I deadpanned like it was all the explanation he needed as I rolled my shoulders turning back to the TV thinking that yeah maybe some of my tension was not for him being there "Some kids can be brutal" he chuckled and I heard him moving, I didn't pay him much attention thinking that he was settling for sleep until I felt two strong hands on my shoulders "What are you doing?"

"What does it look like I´m doing? I´m giving you a massage" he said as his hands began moving just in the right way, I had to bit my lip suffocating the moan I was about to give. I knew that this could be a way to fulfill his promise but I couldn't bring myself to stop him.

"You don't have to" I hung my head between my arms hiving him more access to my back.

"I know" he lowered his hands to my hips and my heart began beating a lot faster, I closed my eyes hoping that he couldn't feel how much my body loved when he touched me no matter how innocent that touch was. All of a sudden he pushed me to the front startling me and I felt him move until he was settled right behind me making me suck my breath "Relax" he whispered to my ear sending chills through my whole body as his hands continued. He traced every muscle, applying pressure in the most perfect way letting me no other option than let out a sigh resting my head on my arms and relax.

James PoV

I continued moving my hands putting special attention to the sore looking points, I had never played hockey but I knew that it was a brutal sport and seeing the bruises already formed in his creamy skin only reassured that knowledge. I lifted my hands to his neck putting pressure with my thumbs and grinning when he let out a small moan. I had never done anything like this for anyone, it was strange how the only think I could think about when I saw him was to give him a fucking massage and make him relax for once, make him forget about everything and everyone. He looked exhausted and anxious, and I had never liked when people were like that, those emotions were only good for wrinkles, nothing else.

"Do you wanna see a movie?" I asked when the show ended and frowned when I didn't get a reply "Kendall?" I moved to see his face finding out that he was sleep. I sighed letting my forehead rest against his back "I won´t make it out of this unharmed, will I?" I asked him in whispers as my hands rested on his hips possessively being certain that I liked having him between my arms a little too much. I sighed carefully pulling him back and freezing when he stirred in his sleep and comfortably leaned against me not giving me any room to move. I rolled my eyes thinking that someone or loved to fuck with my emotions even without realizing it. Knowing that I had nowhere to move I relaxed against the pillow letting my arm move up and start caressing his hair while I thought that it would be awfully easy to get used to this.

**Well another chapter! Some of you were waiting for this, tell me was it good? Bad? Awful? Please please review and let me know!**

**Wow last week of vacation and then back to school…I don't want to! Lol**

**Take care!**


	17. Chapter 16

CHAPTER 16

Kendall PoV

I looked at the street as the bus made its way to the hospital. Why was I riding the bus when there were perfectly awesome cars back home? Well because I needed some time to think…not even about the fact that I had just thought about James´ house as _home_ but about what my crazy heart was feeling at this moment because in all honesty, I was freaking out.

And the fucking bus driver was_ not_ helping…

Some might say that a middle aged man would hear Metallica, AC/DC…or even some hip hop, I could deal with that –given that in the rush leaving home I had forgotten my headphones- but he was freaking listening to Taylor Swift…freaking blondie country girl! And her song was getting into my nerves in all the wrong ways.

Your beautiful eyes  
>Stare right into my eyes<br>and sometimes I think of you late at night  
>I don't know why<br>i want to be somewhere where you are  
>I want to be where...<p>

I closed my eyes grimacing as I thought about what I had felt when I had woken up in his arms. Feeling his warm breath tickling my neck…I pressed my lips together trying to hold back a shiver as I recalled other parts of him that had been tickling on my body.

You're here, You're eyes are looking into mine  
>So baby, make me fly<br>My heart has never felt this way before  
>I'm looking through your<br>I'm looking through your eyes

"_You talk in your sleep" he said in a sleepy voice not moving away. I closed my eyes trying to understand why I was not freaking out, why this felt so good…so right._

"_You snore" I blurted hearing his husky laugh as his hands slowly caressed my abs._

"_Leftover from asthma" he sighed "You´re not freaking out" _

"_Oh I am" I opened my eyes when his hand began moving south, his fingers lazily making their way to the front of my pajama pants causing my cock to jump in interest. I grasped the sheets thinking that there was no use in stopping him, that it would happen sooner or later…the only think I regretted was that we were in _that bed_…but then, he stopped._

I wake up, I'm alive  
>In only a little while... I'll cry<br>Cause you're my lullaby  
>SO baby come hold me tight cause I-I<br>I want to be everything you need  
>I want to be where...<p>

"_Only if you really want it" he whispered. I opened my mouth but I couldn't make a sound…I wanted to tell him to go away, to not make me take a step that I knew would mark me forever. Somehow we both knew this time it would be different, we both knew that a lot had changed between us since that night...and for those same reasons I wanted to say _yes_, I needed him and I was completely terrified of all the emotions swirling inside of me. He moved until he was hovering above me, looking at me through his deep hazel eyes and he must´ve seen the battle inside me because he shook his head and then kissed me, slow and gentle. I gasped as his hands found my scalp massaging it, deepening the kiss…_

You're here, your eyes are looking into mine  
>So baby, make me fly<br>My heart has never felt this way before  
>I'm looking through your<br>I'm looking through your eyes

_We separated only our lips. And just then I could really look at him, he seemed tired judging from the dark marks under his eyes, but other than that he was just as beautiful as ever, even if he had a bed mark on the side of his cheek and messy hair…His eyes were light and relaxed, something I had rarely witnessed "Awfully docile this morning, aren't you?" at this I had to laugh, my mom had said that to me once or twice. I was not a crazy person; I just liked to make my point clear for the rest of the world…the thing now was that I was not sure what my point was anymore._

"_Enjoy it, it won´t last long" he rolled his eyes._

"_Oh I know" he blinked "Kendall?" _

"_Yeah"_

"_What can you tell me about your childhood?" I frowned at this not getting why the sudden interest._

"_Did my mother tell you anything?" he shrugged putting on an innocent expression._

"_I would like to hear it from you" I closed my eyes._

"_There´s nothing to talk about" said this I pushed him away and walked to the bathroom hating what the memories did to me._

Just as long as you're mine  
>I'll be your everything tonight<br>Let me love you, kiss you  
>Oh baby let me miss you<br>Let me see your  
>Dream about<br>Dream about  
>Dream about your eyes<br>Eyes, Eyes...Beautiful eyes

What had my mother told him? I got sick thinking that she could have spoken about the past, about my father…that could´ve explained James´ sudden change in attitude, but something inside of refused to believe that. Even with all I had done in life, all I had endured to get going, one day at the time, my heart still believed that I could love and…fucking, _be _loved. I had tried to make it without compromising my feelings, no attachments. It was dangerous, crazy people were still after me and involving more persons in my life was not advisable…but I had failed and now, more than ever, I knew how deep I had fallen for him.

I felt my heart clench at the thought of something happening to James, Katie, Carlos or Logan…I had bonded with them; in little time they had become more important to me than any other person I had met. My mother was safe, my asshole father had at least made sure to leave her out of this, and even Hawk took pity of a dying woman…why bother? She would be dead in less than a month anyway. I sighed when the radio started playing another slow song; I groaned, those ballads only made me relive those moments, torturing me. Luckily my bus stop was the next one so I climbed out into the warm morning.

"Nice haircut" I stopped death hearing that cocky voice at my right. I turned to find none other than Jett Stetson grinning at me "You´ve gone quite off the radar Kenny, we don't like that"

"How…?"

"Mrs. Vazquez told us you had found a spot for your dear mommy at the hospital, I figured that being the last day of the year you wouldn't lose time to come and spend as much time as you can with her…you´re getting predictable" I pressed my mouth thinking that for once she hadn´t been the first thing on my mind as the day began, I was there for merely coincidence trying to escape my husband.

"I thought I had more time before the next check" I tried to speak nonchalantly projecting a calmness I didn't feel…what if they found out about James? I couldn't let them.

"Yeah…Hawk´s not in a good mood, apparently some old fat enemy has started to nose around the city, so he wants to recollect" shrugged Jett giving me a complete look "You have nicer clothes than before…" he narrowed his eyes and then a sinister smile appeared in his lips "I thought you were above selling yourself" I flinched at his words.

"Apparently I´m not" I sounded my throat "When?"

"Three weeks…I could´ve told you sooner but you disappear, by the way, don't ever do that again" his eyes turned hard "Give me your phone" I let out a breath, in all these years I had successfully evade giving him my number but now it was better to give it to him instead of telling him where I lived.

"How much?" I coughed trying to stop my throat from closing as I handed him the phone. He added his number prior calling himself to get mine.

"A thousand, I´m sure you could manage it" I honestly felt like crying when I heard him. I couldn't steal from James again, I couldn't tell him…I had no way to gather this kind of money "I´ll be leaving you then, and Kenny don't you dare disappear on me again, or things won´t be pretty for you…I already know I can´t touch your mom anyway" said this he turned around and walked away.

I pressed my hands to my face…why? Why? Why? I asked a million times, every time I felt that I could breath someone came to give me a reality punch, pulling me away from my fairy tale and into the real world, where I was nothing, always at the mercy of others.

What was I even doing thinking about what I felt for someone like James? It couldn't be, at this point I was not even sure I could manage to stay the six months…he had money, I could bet that he had more than just his father´s fortune; this had stopped being just about me and my mother, I had no idea when my tiny circle had expanded including them. I had to protect them…

Shaking my head I began walking to the hospital, doing it almost in automatic. Once I was in front of my mother´s room and I took a deep breath hoping that she couldn't see through me, for some reason putting on a good face in front of her was becoming harder every time.

"Mr. Diamond?" It took me a moment to understand that the woman was actually speaking to me. I turned to look at her, she was my mother´s main doctor, she was always collected and loved to wear a smile on her face; now she looked solemn and almost…sad.

"Yes" I whispered for some reason already knowing that she was not going to give me any good news.

"Your mother…" she stopped taking air "She has stopped responding to treatment" I closed my eyes. I had feared this for some time. Back in the early years a doctor had explained to me that her cancer was a weird one, that her bad cells _learned_ and because of that, they could start to battle the chemicals destined to destroy them…my mother didn't know this, she believed that she had gotten medication just the first time, but the truth was that I had asked Hawk for more money to get her more…but nothing worked, not after a couple of weeks. So, after disappointment after disappointment I had given up, just taking enough to have her alive "She refuses to try anything else, I was hoping you could make her see some sense…"

"No…leave her like that" I whispered feeling like I was drowning, none of us could do this anymore. I knew I was being selfish and I would probably hate myself later on but I was tired. I was drained and somehow I was sure that she felt the same way "Just take her pain away" said this I entered the room finding my mother sleeping. I bit my lip making my way to the couch and sitting there not taking my eyes from her trying to remember her before she was ill…I found that I couldn't. I could not recall a single memory of her before all of this. I knew she had had red hair, that she loved having it long and beautiful…but the last memory I had of it was when I was in high school, where she had it short, really short and because of her illness, it had barely any light and color in it.

"They came back to collect, didn't they?" she said in a small voice. I looked down hating that she was still able to look right through me "…James"

"I´m not asking for his money mom" I spoke a little too harsh.

"I´m sure he will give away his fortune for you" I flinched hearing her "He loves you"

"No" I chocked not having any idea where this sudden need to tell her the truth had come from "He doesn't…we made a deal…"

"I know" I widen my eyes at this "He told me yesterday" I frowned taken back, they why keep up the charade? Why the touches and everything? "But I know that he loves you" I rubbed my hands in my face not wanting to think that her words were truth. I stood up and began pacing trying to get a hold of myself.

"You don't know him"

"Oh, but I do…better than you baby" I froze hearing her words; I turned to look at her in the eye finding them tired and barely alive but strangely quizzical. It was odd that I couldn't know what she was thinking; just like she knew me, I knew her and because of that I was sure she was hiding something from me.

"What do you mean?"

"Ask him" my frown deepened at this.

"Why can´t you just tell me?" I hated when she became like this. I felt that I was a kid again and she wanted me to apologize to someone…she kindly forced me to do it, I recalled apologizing to the maids grandson because she had made me do it.

"He´s your husband, you should talk to him" she said simply putting her thin hand on her stomach.

"What part of it´s not real don't you get?" I shook my head and took a deep breath "Forget it. How do you feel?" I changed the subject trying to calm myself. I hadn´t lost control like this in a while, being aggressive was in my veins, I knew that since forever but I had fought against it though the years seeing that it would get easier as time pass by, but there were days when I just couldn't do it.

"I hate that you´re so good at hiding how you really feel…I remember when you didn't give a damn and yelled at me when you were mad or when you thought something was unfair" her voice was so thin that I almost had to suck my breath to hear her right. She was right, we hadn´t had a proper fight in years and I kind of missed them too.

"Things have changed" I spoke looking down.

"Yeah…I´m dying and you´re losing hope, that´s not good for any of us" she sighed.

After her words escaped her mouth we got involved in silence, a suffocating and depressed silence. For some days I had forgotten about her timeline, I had wanted to think that fragile and all, she would still be there; that now that she was in a big fancy hospital she could live all the years she was supposed to live…I had been too foolish, too hopeful. Hours passed as she drifted in a drug induced slumber. I just sat there looking at nothing in particular trying to think about what I could do to get out of this, to protect James, to get the money and to escape Hawk once and for all.

There was only one answer that kept ringing in my head, the one that I was determined to ignore because it hurt too much to even think about it.

James PoV

"What´s _really_ going on between you and Carlos?" I asked Logan while we were kindly avoiding my relatives in my office.

"I don't really know" he answered in a low voice "It´s complicated" I raised my eyebrow at this. Mine and Kendall´s relationship was complicated, theirs was already there I had a really hard time thinking about what could be so troubling for them because everyone noticed how they went from awkward, to sexy and back to awkward in a short period of time.

"Enlighten me" Logan rolled his eyes but talked anyway.

"The sex it´s great…but I think that that´s it" he narrowed his eyes "Every time I see him we just fuck…then he goes back to his room and ignores me for the rest of the day"

"But that first time…"

"It was sex…just sex, nothing tender or anything"

"Wow, who knew Carlitos had it in him to have a free relationship like this" and just as I thought Logan flinched when those words left my mouth "He likes you"

"Yes…he _likes_ to fuck me" I chuckled at his bitter tone getting a glare from him "What are you laughing at?"

"He idolizes you, sometimes I wonder if you are really a genius because in some things you are rather stupid" I grinned at him. He had always been socially awkward and apparently now it was worse because Carlos was awkward too –at least when Logan was around-.

"Then why stay away? Why not stay with me? These past days have been the same story…awkward small talk, or ignoring each other and then he freaking transforms into this sexy guy and we fuck and then back to the beginning…I don't get him" he shook his head looking really annoyed, he tended to do that when there was something he couldn't solve…I remembered the first time I met him, he had been one step from strangling me for being so careless and taking everything so lightly, but at the end that had been the same thing that had brought us together, now of course we had both matured and changed a little, but we still had lots to learn from the other.

"Have you considered that he´s…I don't know frightened by you?" and I got an _are-you-crazy?_ Look. Awesome.

"Why would he?"

"Because who you are…Logan think about this…" I shut up when my phone began ringing. I sighed taking it seeing that it was my grandfather "Yes?"

"You need to get home now, the guests will arrive in an hour and none of you are here"

"Yeah, yeah" I hung up looking at my friend "Looks like we have to leave…my advice, talk to Carlos" he let out a breath and nodded as we made our way to the car.

"How are things with Kendall? I bet he must _love_ your grandfather right now" he asked and I passed a hand through my hair letting out a small smile. I was surprised about the little moment we had in the morning. I was sure he would freak and move away from me the moment he opened his eyes, but he didn't …he stayed there in my arms, he talked to me and it had felt so good that I had been tempted to stay like that for the rest of my life.

"Things are…different" I said hating that I had ruined that moment by wanting to know about his past "I hope that they are good but with him I honestly never know"

After this we kept silent until we arrived home and got in. We were welcomed by a lot of people hurrying to get things done before the guests arrived. I went to my room to change thinking that Kendall would probably spend more time with his mother but just as I was putting on my jacket the room´s door opened revealing him. He looked at me once before taking his clothes and going to the bathroom.

"I thought you were staying with your mother" I spoke when he got out wearing just his grey trousers.

"She needs to sleep" I noticed the small flinch in his eye, the only indication that he was in pain because of that, if she was sleep in this day it only meant that she was getting worse "And we need to pose for your granddad" I narrowed my eyes. His jaw was set and his eyes grey and tormented…there was something going on.

"Are you okay?" I asked walking to stand beside him. He stopped moving not lifting his gaze from the ground, for a second I saw the faint slump of his shoulders and the tremble that crossed his body, but then he took a sharp breath and everything disappeared.

"Yes" he croaked "Let´s do this" he finished dressing in silence as I just stood there looking at him, he didn't comment on it, he simply stood up and walked to the door. I followed him still unsettled about his behavior…was this because of what had happened in the morning? I thought I had done it right, leaving the decision to him and not forcing him to anything. I grimaced, with him nothing ever went as planned, I really had no idea why I was surprised about this.

The night went on in the same manner, he acted polite and caring. For most of the people we were the best couple and I could not miss a chance to take his hand or pull him close to me because somehow I knew that he wouldn't let me do it once we were alone…or maybe he would, I didn't even know at this point, his behavior was confusing me to annoying levels. Not just because he was awfully quiet, but because I could almost see the black cloud above him, somehow I could see through his façade and I would not stop worrying until I saw him good again.

"Hey" I reached for his hand stopping him when he said he would go for some air outside "You can talk to me you know" I searched for his eyes hating how fucking sad they looked. He opened his mouth just as I heard someone call my name.

"James! Dude!" I turned to see Dave, one of my friends walk to us "How are you? I haven't heard from you in ages"

"I good" I smiled taking his hand "Dave, this is Kendall, Kendall this is Dave" I presented them automatically hating the spiteful look Dave gave him.

"Pleasure" spoke the man as Kendall raised a bushy eyebrow.

"I´m sure it is" spat my husband before walking away from us into the backyard. I just smiled seeing a little of that famous character resurface.

"Not a good mannered one James…I never judge you taste in rent boys, but he´s just low" I lost my smile turning to look at him.

"Don't talk about him like that" I raised my hand so he could see the gold ring around my finger "He´s my husband" at this the ass had the nerve to laugh pissing me even more.

"Oh I heard your grandmother speak to her friends, James we all know you paid him to marry you, don't get all righteous with me, we all know you" he moved closer to me "But give me his number, I´d like to have a real chat with him once you dump his ass" and that´s when I made him eat my fist fast and hard shutting him up for good.

"Don't ever, ever talk about him like that…you know the door, please leave" I looked around at all the stunned faces and I realized that I didn't give a damn about any of this people, I just cared about the man that was sulking around my backyard so I motioned like I was cleaning my jacket as I spoke "Keep partying people, nothing to see here" after this I turned around and went outside "Kendall?" I called for him walking around until I saw him at the edge of the pool sitting with his arms around his knees. I sat beside him feeling my heart take a leap when he moved closer to lean his head on my shoulder.

"You should´ve told me that it was okay to punch your friends, I would´ve loved to do it" I chuckled at this.

"I wanted to do it myself, I won´t let anyone talk to you like that again" he sighed before I felt his hand move to my cheek and two seconds later I felt his lips against my own. My heart began taking leaps of joy thinking that it was the first kiss he had willingly started; his lips were soft and hesitant telling me that he was not used to this at all and knowing about his past I could figure out that he didn't have that much experience in anything, maybe not a virgin but not a pro either. Deciding that I should take the lead I moved so he was laying on the grass as I ended up on top of him taking his hips to pull him closer to me as I let my tongue as permission to explore the sweetness of his mouth. He sighed granting me entrance as his hands traveled to the back of my head tangling his fingers among my locks, I moaned at the sensation "I need you" I breathed against his mouth. He stopped moving and I opened my eyes seeing him against the light of the moon. His eyes were glazed, his lips swollen and even if I couldn't see it I knew he had a nice blush coloring his pale skin.

"Yes" he swallowed not moving his eyes from mine and I knew that it was the answer I had been looking for in the morning. I moved to kiss him one more time, nibbling his lower lip getting delicious sounds from him prior getting up and offering him my hand, he took it and stood next to me before we made our way back inside the house and to our room.

**Some of you might kill me for this whole chapter…I know it lol but I had to start getting back the angst :)**

**Okay so I´ll be starting my service and last week I went back to school so expect weekly updates (next one will be sooner than that, I promise!) and no worries, even if they look like they will accept their feelings soon, this story its far from ending….review please! Let me know what you thought! And Let me know your predictions for future chapters xD**

**Tomorrow it´s superbowl day! GO PATRIOTS! Anybody else exited?**

**P.D. Song used "Beautiful eyes" by Taylor Swift…perfect way to torture Kendall lol**


	18. Chapter 17

CHAPTER 17

Kendall PoV

The second we entered his room, he pinned me to the wall kissing me like his life depended on it. I moaned tangling my fingers into his soft locks pulling him even closer to me, wanting nothing more than to have him there, practically glued to my body for the rest of eternity. I hissed when his knee got between my legs pressing against my crotch sending jolts of pleasure all over my body. We continued kissing, letting our tongues battle trying to submit the other and just when I thought about giving up and let him ravish my mouth, he pulled away moving his lips to my jaw.

"James" I breathed closing my eyes loving the feeling of his teeth caressing my skin in every small bite. I grabbed a tighter hold on his hair when his hands found the hem of my shirt and traveled inside letting goosebumps run though my chest as a delicious moan escaped his lips, sending a lust wave though my whole being. Desperate to feel him all over me making more of those sounds, I moved my hands to the bottoms of his shirt opening them until he took my wrists stopping me.

"No" he spoke half breathlessly resting his forehead on my shoulder. I felt my throat contract, suddenly remembering the last time…_whores don´t touch_ he had said, _whores get fucked_…who could assure me that this time would be different? Yes, he´d just punched a guy for calling me a rent boy, but how could I know that he hadn't done it for show? Or because he pitied me thanks to my mother´s tales? "Stop overanalyzing" he said moving so I could see a grin trying to make its way through his lips "I just think that we should go slowly and if you keep that up, I´m not going to last long…go slow"

"What?" I looked at him like he was crazy; personally I couldn't go slowly even if I wanted to. I needed to forget about my mother, about Hawk, about everything, I needed to let my heart beat freely, to let go… I needed him.

"You heard me" he grinned probably amused at my bewildered expression "There´s no rush, we have the whole night" said this he moved one step back and I shivered hating how cold I felt without his body pressed to mine. I looked at him as he raised his hand asking for mine, I let out a breath taking it and letting him walk us to stand in front of the bed "Stay still"

"You get to undress me but I can´t even touch you?" I inquired before I could stop myself while his hands began unbuttoning my shirt.

"Yes…deal with it" he smiled prior shaking his head "For once, let somebody take care of you"

"I don't need to be taken care, all I need is you without clothes, asking for me to fuck you till next week" he blinked probably as surprised as I was by my words. Yeah, I had no idea what had come over me to say that but part of me knew that it was the truth; I wanted to fuck him and own him like he did with me. But somehow I knew that neither of us was ready to change places, so I used this little moment to grip his shirt and claim his lips forcefully. He tried to stop me at first, but two seconds later he growled moving his hands to grasp my ass pulling me to his body letting our hips meet giving our clothed erections the much needed friction. I moaned bucking my middle getting lost in the sensation of his hardness rubbing against mine and his lips sucking everything I had.

"I agree about the nakedness, but _I _will be fucking _you_" he spoke at my ear blowing his hot breath against that sensitive part of my body making me shudder.

"At this point, I don't care, just fucking do it already" deciding that I was tired of seeing who undressed who first, I ripped the rest of his shirt open and took it away from him, finally freeing his sculpted chest for my eager hands to explore. Deciding that for once, I wanted to take my time with this, I took a step backwards absorbing him. Getting lost in his darkened eyes, his flustered cheeks, his swollen lips and his freaking sexy body…damn I got painfully harder for just watching him.

"Like what you see?" he raised his eyebrow clearly knowing the answer. I rolled my eyes before lifting my hand letting my fingertips caress his cheek seeing how his eyes fluttered closed. Biting my lip I lowered my fingers tracing a path from his neck to his chest, noticing for the first time how fast had become his breathing. I moved forward to kiss the tender skin above his collarbone feeling his erratic heartbeat beneath my lips; I sucked and bit his skin thinking that, even if it only was for some more months, he was mine and I wanted to mark my ownership "Fuck" he hissed putting his right hand on my head as his left hooked on my belt loop keeping me in place until he lost his patience and pushed me to the bed.

James PoV

I followed him and attacked his lips, invading his mouth hungrily as my hands occupied themselves on touching every available part of his body. I finished the kiss moving down, delivering feathery ones all over his neck and chest, then, I reached his nipples and I dedicated my tongue and teeth to tease them until they were completely hard and sensitive causing a strangled series of incoherent words, moans and gasps from my husband, every one of them going straight to my dick making it jump in interest.

I lifted my head to meet his blown eyes and without losing contact I rested my body on my knees as my hands moved to the hem of his pants and began unbuckling them taking care of not touching his crouch at all. Once his pants were open I moved forward to deliver a kiss to his recently exposed skin, just above his boxers noticing that Kendall´s hands were firmly locked in the sheets as his whole body trembled in anticipation as his breaths came out heavy and needy. Seeing this, I didn't need any other indication about his sex experience before me, I could even call it: _more or less_ virgin, and that simple thought was enough for me to decide to give him everything I had and make him goo under my hands and make sure that he could never forget about me.

Grinning, I yanked down his pants leaving him only on his grey boxer briefs and his open shirt. I shifted until I was right between his legs resting my hands on his folded knees caressing his thighs with my thumbs seeing how his breath hitched as my hands moved lower every time. Deciding that I wanted to give him a little surprise, I moved forward letting my face touch the bulge on his underwear.

"Shit!" he jumped letting his head fall back as I licked his clothed shaft making him crazier every passing second "James…wait…ngh" he trashed moving his head from one side to another as I gave a little bite noticing some wetness above his tip, he was already on edge and I wanted nothing more than to see his beautiful features when he lost every ounce of control he had left. So I let my fingers take the hem of his underwear and began pulling it down all the way to his ankles.

"You´re so beautiful…so amazing" I whispered before I kissed him one more time prior going back down to see his flustered and hard member. I gave it a tentative stroke seeing right away how his body eagerly responded to my attentions "Do you want me to suck you?" I continued moving my hand just giving him enough pressure to feel it, but nothing compared to what he needed to get off.

"N-No…" I frowned watching him; he was resting on his elbows looking at me with an odd expression.

"What is it?" I moved up cupping his face to make him look at me "Kendall?" he had closed his eyes and was breathing deeply while one of his hands found its way to the side of my face.

"No blowjobs" my frown deepened hearing his words. He opened his eyes and I was stroked with various emotions inside of them, they went from guilt, to shame and finally to sadness. I felt my heart contract seeing him like this "I´m sorry" he whispered looking away from me.

"It´s okay" I let my forehead rest against his caressing his hair "I already told you, nothing you don't want to do" once I said this he took a huge breath and gave me a small smile prior connecting our lips once again. This time the kiss was sweet and slow, letting me see a lot more of his emotions than what I had seen before.

I was deadly curious about his reluctance to receive a BJ but it wasn't the place or the moment to ask, so I kissed him back feeling his hands working my pants open and one of them traveling inside them to cup me through my boxers giving me no choice but to groan and buck looking for more of that heated hand "So sexy" he spoke before getting his hand inside the boxers in one swift movement and stroking me with such confidence that I nearly forgot how to think. He continued his ministrations until I felt my insides contract in anticipation as I came closer to the peek.

Shaking my head I took his hand away from my pants before I walked out of the bed and ran to the bathroom to find my lube, once I did it I returned smiling at Kendall´s raised eyebrow.

"We need this" I threw him the lube before I undressed completely and crawled to him and kiss him briefly prior taking the small bottle from his hands and pouring some of it in my fingers making sure they were properly coated, I didn't want to hurt him this time "Ready?" he nodded putting his hands on my shoulders and his legs around my waist. I choose to distract him a little by nibbling his neck as my index finger massaged the outside of his hole feeling it contracting with every touch.

"Get on with it" he panted. I nodded letting my first digit inside trying to remember the exact position of his prostrate "James" he whined bucking his hips to meet my moving finger.

"Such eagerness" I grinned getting a glare from him that soon turned into an aroused expression as I added another finger and I started scissoring them still looking for that spot.

"OH FUCK!" I couldn't help but chuckle at his outburst once I found it. Now I could get how much he had held back the first time and I was planning to never let him be like that again "James…so… good" I continued attacking him merciless hearing his babbling like music for my libido "Just…do it, please…now" he talked putting his face next to mine, hearing him like that made me shiver from head to toe before I retrieved my fingers hearing his small whine and lining up my dick to his entrance.

Kendall PoV

I closed my eyes trying to relax as he made his way inside of me, filling me completely and then staying still, letting me get used to the feeling. While he waited, he continued kissing every inch of my neck and chest.

"Move" I whispered. He nodded and began rocking his hips, slowly and marked at first, letting me feel every inch of his dick inside of me. I closed my eyes biting my lip concentrating in every sensation, from the moisture heat of his body, to his hair tickling my neck, to the heartbeat I could feel coming from his cock…I could hardly think of something more intimate than that "James" I hissed feeling my body tremble and my insides constricting with much more force than before. I was close. I hugged his shoulders moving my hips to meet his trusts mumbling _faster, faster, faster_ like a prayer as he gained speed fucking me so hard that I knew I was going to have trouble walking later. For a while, the room was filled with the sound of flesh hitting against flesh and our occasional hitched breaths mumbling eachothers names and incoherent words.

"Kendall" he spoke taking my hand grasping my fingers with his and putting it above my head as the other one rested at my side "I´m close" he lifted his face giving me a look at him while he was buried deep in my body. He looked simply gorgeous, too amazing to be real, too amazing to want someone like me, too amazing to… "I love you" and those three words were all that took for me to lose control like I had never lost it before, my mind went blank and my body felt like it was shocked by lightning. I could still feel James moving inside me, riding his own orgasm until we got back to the real world…the world where being my friend meant being in constant danger, the world where I had to run away to keep everybody safe…the world were James shouldn't love me, because I could never love him back without practically signing his death sentence.

I closed my eyes letting myself enjoy the feeling of James´ warm body covering mine, his strong arms hugging me so hard that, if I didn't know better, I could think that he knew that this couldn't last long. He kissed my neck before moving to rest on his elbows after getting out of me leaving me with a strange sense of emptiness. He looked at me in the eye, probably looking for an answer to his feelings, but I couldn't give it to him, not the real one at least.

"Why did you say that?" I asked avoiding his gaze. This couldn't be happening, why did he do it? I couldn't let this move on, I had already decided that I would do everything I could to protect them, and that included abandoning him before the six months were done, it wouldn't have been that hard thinking that he would only care about his money, but now...now I had no idea how I was going to do this.

"Because it´s the truth" I shook my head pushing him away from me. Once he moved enough I got away moving to my side of the bed giving him my back "Kendall?" I tried not to put much thought at the strained tone of his voice knowing that it wouldn't do anything good for my resolution.

"I hope you didn't expect me to return those feelings, this is a business deal, the sex it´s good but I don't love you" I turned to look at him trying to get as much ice as possible inside my gaze "This will be over in months don't forget it" said this I turned back and closed my eyes using all my will power to not run away of that room and cry my heart out.

"I know" I tensed when I felt a pair of velvety lips kiss my shoulder "Happy new year"

Carlos PoV

"Have you talked to James yet?" asked my mother through the phone. I closed my eyes hating the empty feeling inside my chest that that conversation had caused.

"No" I passed a hand through my face "I haven't told anyone"

"You have to Carlitos, you owe it to them" I sighed knowing that it was truth, but it was so hard "We miss you"

"I miss you too" I closed my eyes hugging myself. Now, just now that I had done something important and meaningful in my life…I could read, I had even started to look for a way to get my high school diploma and then a mechanic certificate wanting to be better…also there was Logan, and thinking of ending things even before they could begin was too painful, for that same reason I couldn't stop screwing around with him but at the same time I couldn't let him get close.

"At least we´ll see each other soon"

"Sure" I swallowed hoping to get rid of the lump inside my throat "It´s late and I´ll have to clean tomorrow, happy New Year mom, I´m glad we talked"

"Me too son, your brothers say hello and that we can´t wait for you to come back home" I looked up trying hard not to cry. I didn't want to go back, but I had no choice.

"Yes me neither, love you, bye"

"I love you too, good night" she hung up and just then I let my tears run free knowing that I had to tell everybody that in a month I would be going back to Mexico and away from their lives forever.

**First of all, thanks for all your reviews! You are awesome!**

**Okay! I had to get a bug and stay the whole day in bed so this could get out…I´m terribly unsure about this so please tell me what you thought!**

**Sorry for the late update! But with school and my SS it´s really hard to get enough time to write.**

**Love it? Hate it? Review?**

**P.S. The whole conversation between Carlos and his mom it´s in Spanish but I put it in English for practical manners xD**


	19. Chapter 18

CHAPTER 18

James PoV

It hadn´t been planned.

I could have said that I had said those words out of the heat of the moment, that I used them on everybody. But I didn't. I accepted them as the simple truth they were.

I loved Kendall Knight.

And as frightening as that thought was, it was not going to change because, somehow, I knew that if I hadn´t stopped loving him after everything he did to me, I wouldn't stop now.

I watched him sleep thinking that I had never seen a more beautiful person. His face was relaxed revealing a softness that he rarely let anyone witness, his creamy chest raising in every breath showing me a couple of reddish love marks, his whole body was completely gorgeous. A small smile made its way through my face as he began mumbling in his sleep just like the night before.

"Would it be too hopeful to think that you could be dreaming about me?" I whispered caressing his hair pulling it away of his forehead and my heart skipped a beat when he sighed in contempt moving closer to me. I let out a breath remembering his words, for a second I had believed him. I had fallen for his icy tone and indifference, until I looked inside his eyes…not even his experience on hiding his emotions had been enough to shut down the waves of pain that had flashed inside his emerald gaze the minute he turned away.

Just then I knew something was really wrong.

He looked frighten and on edge. I had even thought about Mrs. Knights words _´I don't even know how hard it has been for him…there is so much he doesn't tell me to keep me safe, I just hope that he hasn't gone too deep…_´. It wasn't hard to know that he had lots of secrets, what would be tricky to find out was how dangerous those secrets were.

I refused to believe that he didn't feel anything for me, and thinking like that, the only option was to find out why he kept pushing me away.

"You´re staring at me" I jumped hearing his voice. I had been so lost in thought that I didn´t notice him waking up.

"You´re worth staring" I shrugged grinning at the sight of his blush "What were you dreaming about?" at this the redness on his skin grew.

"Nothing" he closed his eyes as my hands kept moving around his face.

"Why do you hate BJ´s?" he shook his head getting even closer to my chest in a most probably unconscious manner. I chuckled knowing that he betrayed his own words with every little action around me "What´s so funny?" he inquired opening his eyes.

"You" he raised his eyebrow clearly not a fan of my answer "You say that you don't love me, you say that for you, all of this, it´s a business deal" I moved so my lips ghosted around his loving the increasing of his breathing "And yet, you react like this every time I get close to you" my hands grasped his waist pulling him closer to me as his hands found my shoulders "I think you should make up your mind" said this I kissed him, slowly and thoughtful. Only trying to let him know how much I felt for him. He answered reciprocating every little feeling, letting my heart beat wildly against my chest knowing that something else was keeping him away.

"I have already made it up" he spoke against my lips "I don´t feel anything but desire for you…nothing more" I swallowed moving to look at him in the eye…and again, his eyes betrayed him.

"You´re lying"

"No" I had to give it to him, if it wasn't because I had serious training seeing his real cold and indifferent gaze, I would´ve believed him.

"I know for sure Kendall" his eyes wavered stunned by my words "But there´s something stopping you"

Kendall PoV

I watched him feeling my heart on my throat. How the fuck could he look so sure of himself? Why didn't he believe me? He had seem sure enough before I went to sleep, what had changed?

"No" I croaked shaking my head trying desperately to get a hold of myself. He was tearing down all my walls and he fucking knew it.

"I love you" my heart beat became almost painful hearing him say those words again "I love all of you" he kissed my forehead "Even that stubborn head of yours" I was shaking hating how he could crumble all my walls with three simple words…luckily, before I could do anything, his phone began ringing. He sighed letting his head fall into my shoulder letting me know that it was probably his alarm telling him that it was time to leave.

"You should go…you wouldn't want to be late" I spoke trying not to look at him.

"Way to make someone feel unwanted" he snorted before I felt his hand on my chin making me look inside his hazel eyes "I won´t give up on you, I don't care how long it takes but I will make you happy again" he kissed the corner of my lip.

Hearing him made the lump on my throat grow making it hard to breath. I looked away hating that he could read me so easily, hating the little voice inside my head that kept telling me to give in, that I had no real reason to push him away.

But he would still be in danger.

"I will be happy the moment I´m far away from you, the second this thing ends, I´m leaving" I told him looking at his eyes. It was the truth and I was sure he saw it in my eyes, because the minute those words left my mouth he began shaking his head, his eyes shining in pain.

"…No" he seemed speechless, stunned by my sudden rudeness.

"I never gave you any hopes for something more…maybe a companionship, a friendship even, but never something more" it would be a lie to say that my own heart wasn't breaking at my own words, but I had to do this. Once I said this I pushed him until I was able to escape his hold and went back to my side of the bed having a terrible vision of that same thing the night before. I heard James sigh before he began moving getting out of the bed. Seconds later I heard the bathroom´s door close and just then I let myself breathe.

Knowing that I couldn't bear the thought of seeing James´ eyes again after saying those things to him, I got up and put on my pajamas prior going to the kitchen.

"Morning" said Carlos once I entered finding him eating some cereal looking quite gloomy.

"Morning…you look like shit" I sat next to him pouring some for myself.

"Speak of yourself…what happened? You two looked good last night" I bit my lip looking away as I felt my heart contracting.

"Nothing" I passed a hang through my face.

We ate in silence, each one being swallowed by our own depressing thoughts. I wanted to ask him what was wrong, I wanted to think of something other than my husband, but I couldn't bring myself to do it because a tiny part of me kept yelling, telling me that it was my last chance, that I had to take everything he was willing to offer because in three weeks it might be too late.

I was about to start with a little small talk getting sick with the silence, when James got inside the kitchen.

"I´m leaving now" he spoke and I stubbornly fixed my eyes on the cereal bowl.

"Good trip" I said coldly feeling like my insides were being swallowed by a dark hole.

"Take care dude, we´ll miss you" Carlos got up and embraced him after giving me a pointed look.

"Me too. Logan will take me to the airport, take care of the house and try not to burn it" even I could sense the fake cheerfulness in his voice.

"Sure thing, bye!" I saw them ending their hug and James half turned to me, like he expected something…anything.

"Be careful" his voice was low and beautiful. I was sure he was talking to me, even with everything I had said to him he still cared…how could he love me if we barely knew each other? "I lo…"

"Shut up!" I got up and walked outside leaving him there feeling my whole body tremble at the coldness of the air around me. I stayed there until I heard Logan´s car off and I allowed my legs to give in.

_I love you two._

**(These are phone calls between James and Kendall, couldn't find a better way to put this lol)**

Kendall PoV

"Hello?" I answered not looking at the ID.

"_Hi_" I felt my breath get caught as I heard his voice, it was crazy how much I already missed him. It was irrational, he had been gone just some hours but the knowledge that he was halfway across the country made me want him even more.

"…Hey" I managed to say hoping that my voiced masked my struggle to keep my feelings at bay.

"…"

"Why are you calling?"

"_I had the time_" he sounded nonchalant but somehow I couldn't bring myself to believe him.

"How was the flight?" I decided I could be civil and do a little smalltalk.

"_Good, we had a little turbulence but nothing big…how´s the old man treating you_?"

"We haven't talked at all…I think the trouble will start once his wife goes back" I grimaced not having any idea of what to do once Mr. Diamond decided to speak to me.

"_Probably, but don't worry about him, he will see what I see every day and he will be happy for it_"

"…what are you talking about?" I frowned not having any idea of what he meant.

"_He´ll see that you love me_"

"…" a shiver ran down my spine, how could he know that when I was barely coping with that same thought?

"_Kendall?_"

"We don't even know each other, you can´t love me" said this I hung up.

James PoV

"Good morning, how did you sleep?" I asked as soon as he picked up glad that he had finally decided to stop ignoring my calls, it had been four days since I last had heard his voice.

"_Good_" I closed my eyes hating his icy tone each day even more.

"That´s nice…so, how are things back home?"

"_Okay_" maybe hearing _cold words_ was better than hearing nothing at all…God I missed him too much, waking up in an empty bed, without the smell of _Kendall _around me was simply horrible.

"Uh, yeah. I´m so bored here, I guess I got used to the craziness around the house, with Carlos and Katie always doing…"

"_Look James, I´m busy, I need to go_" I tried not to flinch at his words. A part of me was beginning to believe every word he had said to me…but I refused to let that part take over, there had to be a reason for his behavior.

"Oh okay, by…"

_Beep-Beep-Beep_

"I love you" I whispered into the phone.

After the last time we had spoken, I had thought about his words constantly. He was right, we hardly knew a thing about each other. Well maybe_ I_ did know about his past -the PG version at least- but now that I thought about it, we had never talked about us, as in _Kendall_ and _James_, about our likes and dislikes, about our fears and hobbies…I didn't even know his favorite color.

Shaking my head thinking that I was the most stupid man around I looked at my phone and began texting, needing to fix that right away. Then I called the only person –aside from his mother- that might know a little more about Kendall.

"Hey Carlitos!"

"_Hi dude! How are things around there?_"

"Great…yeah… how are you guys doing?"

"_We´re good. Logan´s getting back to work so I guess we won´t see him around that much_" and he totally didn't sound depressed because of that.

"Maybe you should try to talk to him instead of shagging him the minute you see each other"

"_Rude!_" I could almost picture his blush "_Our…_affiliation_ isn't of your concern_"

"Affiliation?" I raised my eyebrow liking the easiness that came with mocking Carlos, it felt good after having my heart and pride crushed repeatedly for days.

"…_shut up, I have no idea what we are! And I don't think we should talk about this over the phone_"

"okay then… how´s Katie?"

"_She´s good, hating that she has to go back to school and giving hell to your grandfather_"

"Like she should…"

"_If you wanted to ask about Kendall you didn't have to ask about everybody else first"_ I chuckled at his bluntness. Only Carlos could say the truth like that and appear adorable instead of a total jerk.

"But I wanted to ask about you too…so how is he?"

"_Not good_"

"What do you mean?"

"He hasn't been home, I don't see him eating much and he´s getting quite a lot suspicious glares from your grandfather"

"Probably he´s with his mother…"

"No" I fisted my hands already feeling the webs of worry wash over me "I went to visit her and she said that he just stops by for about an hour in the morning, right after Hockey practice and then he leaves…he doesn't come back home until nighttime"

"Part of me loves you for keeping me informed about him, but another hates you for telling me this when I have no way to go with him" I said passing a hand through my face trying to get a hold of myself.

"I know, that´s why I hadn´t told you before…" he sounded genuinely sorry.

"It´s okay, I just hope he´s all right"

Kendall PoV

"The best way to do this is to ask for money to that _sponsor_ of yours" I rolled my eyes at Jett´s words.

"Why do you even care?" I asked watching the kids playing at the hockey rink "Gary! Eyes on the pock!" I yelled at the keeper who was currently trying to flirt with some girls at the benches.

"Sorry coach!" he apologized getting back in the game.

"Kendall don't believe what people say, even as gorgeous and amazing as I am, I´m still a human being and I don't like seeing someone like you getting drowned for being a good person"

"I´m not a good person" I crossed my arms not ready to believe that he could care. He had been my keeper from the beginning, ever since he was barely starting in _the business_ and I was hardly capable of taking care of myself; we knew each other fairly well, he knew how far I was willing to go and I knew that he could be civil when he wanted to, like these days in where we had started to make some sort of friendship being him the only person that truly knew how deep I had fallen "Josh, you keep that up and I´ll cage you for the next game!"

"Of course you are, but keep thinking what you want" he shrugged at the moment my phone beeped. I got it out seeing that I had a text.

**You r right. My fave color is green, my fave food is pizza and I used to be fat - J**

I couldn't hide the small smile that crept inside my lips once I read it. The first thing that popped inside my mind was _´No way he was fat!_´ then, I thought about what I had said to him, we hardly knew each other and apparently he agreed and wanted to fix it.

"In all the time I´ve known you, I have never seen you smile like that" I sounded my throat at Jett´s words putting away my phone "You should give him a chance"

"So you can kill him later? No thanks" he just raised his shoulders reminding me how much of a coldblooded idiot he really was.

"_I_ don't get my hands dirty and doesn't every Hollywood movie tell you that one sniff of happiness it´s better than nothing at all? Some of us would kill for getting out of the routine" he looked around clearly bored "Well, sitting around isn't good for my ass, see you later Kenny" said this he got up put on his shades clearly loving the adoring glances from the girls around and went outside leaving me alone with my thoughts until my phone rang again.

"Mr. Diamond?" I tensed because the hospital was the only place where they called me like that "There has been some complications with your mother, we believe that you should come here as soon as you can"

**Ahem this was a weird, kind of rushed chapter to write.**

**Please, please tell me what you think! I´m really unsure about this one :S**

**Love it? Hate it? Review! :)**

**Take care.**


	20. Chapter 19

CHAPTER 19

Logan PoV

"We should stop meeting like this" I gasped as Carlos pinned my body to the wall while attacking my neck with his hungry lips.

"You want to stop?" he asked moving to look at me. I blinked letting my gaze dwell inside his black orbs, our bodies fitting like they were meant for each other and letting me feel his strong heartbeat against my own. I closed my eyes concentrating in the way he touched me making my body feel like it was on fire, like everything else was unimportant, like we should be like this for the rest of eternity. I raised my hands across his chest until they rested on his neck.

"I want to…" I sighed before taking a deep breath and opening my eyes "I want to know what we are" he frowned probably not getting where I was going "I want us to go out" I lowered my gaze feeling my cheeks blush. One of the reasons I had stuck around women for so long, was that for some odd reason it was a lot easier to deal with them, with men I became this insecure-blushing guy that had no idea how to react…even if a little voice in the back of my head kept telling me that no matter how much I wanted to lie to myself, the truth was that this whole set of feelings had appeared because of Carlos, not just for the change of gender.

"…like, on a date?" he asked in a low unsure voice making my gut twist, he didn't sound too thrilled about the idea.

"Yes" I made myself look at him again. He had his eyes closed and was making a tortured expression, somehow I knew his answer before he even voiced it.

"I can´t" he whispered but contrary of what I expected, he pulled me closer to him letting his face inside the crook of my neck "I´m sorry"

"Why?" he didn't answer but for some reason I was okay with that. Being there with my arms around him just _hugging_ each other felt so freaking good, just the sound of out breathing or the low rustle of our clothes every time we moved.

"I´m leaving" he said and I felt my stomach drop knowing that I wanted to have him there with me for more than just mere minutes but like every time in this _whatever-thing_ we had, he went away before anything could get deeper than a fuck.

"Sure" I dropped my hands lowering my gaze feeling the full on hit of rejection like a blow in my chest.

"No, Logan" he took my chin making me look at him "Not right now" he smiled but his eyes weren't into it. He let out a breath letting our foreheads touch "In three weeks I´m going back to Mexico, to my family"

Carlos PoV

I felt his hands grasp my shirt the second those words left my mouth. It was weird that out of all the people around me he had been the first one to know. We barely knew each other –excluding the vast knowledge of each other´s bodies-, James and even Kendall knew me a lot better, but for some reason it had felt right. It felt fair to tell him the real reason why we couldn't let whatever we had grow into something more. It would be a lie to say that he wasn´t the biggest reason for me to want to stay here, all those years of silently wanting to be with him were finally over…but now we didn't have the time to be together.

"Why?" he frowned looking at me with those impossibly big chocolate eyes. I swallowed caressing his cheek remembering how intimidated I used to be by him, he had always seemed like something so far away from my league that I had never imagined that in the end I would feel like this, like he needed me to be there, like I wanted to be someone he could trust and rely on no matter what…but now, none of that could be truth.

"My mother´s been sick" I grimaced "I haven't seen her since I was a kid. I miss her and my brothers and I don't want to be away from her if…if something happens" I knew he understood why this was so important to me, after all he only had his mom too "Seeing Kendall made me realize this, and one day I just told her that I would be going back...I was homesick and of course I couldn't go back on my word just by hearing her being so happy because her_ Carlitos_ was going back to her…I haven't even told James" he sighed resting his forehead on my shoulder "That´s why we can´t try something more, the moment I go there I won´t be able to come back ever again…why start something that can´t last more than three weeks?"

"If you weren't leaving, would you do it? The whole dating, movies, hand holding thing" he asked not lifting his head but I felt his hands move to the hem of my pants and start caressing the skin above it, my eyes fluttered closed enjoying his touch.

"Without a second thought" I answered truthfully.

"Then let´s do it" I frowned looking at him, his eyes were returning my gaze shining with determination "I don't care if we only have three weeks, or that it would hurt like hell to say goodbye after that…but I want this, I want us" he moved forward kissing my jaw, then my cheeks and finally giving me a small nip in my lips "I´m tired of this, of just having sex every time we see each other because we need to be close…I-I really don't think I´m alone in that feeling" I nodded knowing what he was talking about, every day it became harder to stay away from him and that was why I couldn't keep my hands off his body once I gave into my cravings. Even now our bodies were touching in every possible spot as our hands wondered lazily though them "I want to know you, to go to the movies, the beach…" he shrugged "To talk about everything, to just stand together like now"

"It does feel nice" I smiled taking his hand "I want that too but…"

"I know where I´m getting in, I know that this won´t last…I´m up for it" he cupped my face before delivering a sweet kiss to my lips "Are you?" I bit my lip looking down, I knew I was afraid, afraid of how hard it would be to go away once we started something…Fuck, it was almost impossible to think of leaving before he made clear that he also wanted something more, how would I be able to leave now?

"Logan…" I looked for his eyes finding out a little too late that that had been a bad idea. Seeing me hesitate had already crushed part of their shine, they were looking at me with wild sadness but still hoping for me to say the right words "…okay" I spoke knowing that not in a million years I could´ve said no to those eyes "Okay" I repeated a little more convinced. He grinned with such happiness that every doubt that I had left was erased and I had no other option but to smile with him just before his lips claimed mine once again, this time a lot more aggressive and eager "Want to go somewhere now?"

"Not _now_…unless _somewhere_ allows you to have your cock inside of me" he whispered pointedly thrusting his hips against mine.

"I thought…the whole purpose of this…was to go out" not that I was completely against the idea being that with every move my dick grew harder and my need for him bigger.

Logan just chuckled before moving his hands to open my pants and let them explore the inside of my boxers making me forget about everything that wasn't him.

Yeah…_somewhere _could wait a little longer.

Kendall PoV

I closed my eyes knowing that I was still shaking, my heart beating so loud that it was painful. For a second I had thought I had lost her, that I wouldn't be able to say goodbye, to hold her hand one last time before she decided to stop fighting.

I was terribly close to that decision myself.

"_She stopped breathing on her own, the drugs aren't working much…she´s in pain" said the doctor the second I got there demanding news about my mother´s health. I didn't even remember the trip to the hospital, or telling the Coach that I had to leave training, I just remembered the dread inside my chest the second I ended the call and the urgency to get to the hospital as soon as possible "She´s unconscious but we expect her to awaken for a couple of minutes every now and then…"_

"_How long?" I spoke in a strangled voice not even daring to get inside her room._

"_A day, maybe two" I shuddered closing my eyes willingly stopping my body from giving in. I could not break, not yet._

"_Thank you" I said turning to the room they had transferred my mother and getting inside._

It was dark outside the window, my only indication of how long I had been here. She looked like a shell of what she used to be, breathing thanks to all machines and wires around her. Nothing could ever erase that image from my brain; I knew that even after years I would still remember her like this…a sick person, instead of the beautiful woman she truly had been.

"You were right you know" I whispered suddenly desperate to talk to her even if I hardly believed she would hear me "H-he does love me" I closed my eyes pushing the heels of my hands on them desperate to keep away the tears. Talking about James was a lot easier than talking about us, about the memories she would left behind "He said it to me...and he repeats it every time he talks to me" I took a deep shaky breath "And I love him too…so much it hurts" I was shaking, I knew that if I kept talking I wouldn't be able to hold back but I couldn't stop "I don't want him getting hurt, I can´t lose him…not him" I sobbed my nose "He´s so amazing…sometimes I hardly believe he´s real, he has come a long way since we first met" I chuckled darkly "At the beginning he…he hated me, I don't even know why but he seemed determined to make me miserable" I blinked fast recognizing the ache of tears wanting to be free behind my eyes "But something must´ve changed his mind…he did hurt me, but for some reason I was able to forgive him seeing that he truly cared…" I stopped talking seeing her stir in her sleep before blinking her eyes open. Eager to cherish our last moments together I moved to sit next to her taking her hand "Hey"

"Hi baby" she spoke barely audibly, she even looked glad to be able to speak relatively normal "I love you" I grinned forcing my trembling lips to cooperate as I ducked my head to kiss her cheek.

"I love you too" I whispered letting my head on her shoulder feeling how very slowly her hand moved up to pet my hair with light movements.

"Send the boys my love too" I nodded unable to find my voice "Tell James to take care of you…"

"Mom…" I shook my head not being able to decide if I should tell her the truth or let her die thinking that things would be good for me.

"Kendall" she pushed me lightly so we could look at each other "Promise me something" I narrowed my eyes not saying anything waiting for her to go on. She took a couple of breaths, like speaking was so hard it compared to running a mile "Promise me that you´ll ask James to help you" I froze. _No, don't make me do this. I can´t lie to you, not now…I can´t ask him that. _I implored on the inside hoping that she could sense my prayers and stopped herself "Promise me that you´ll tell him everything" I shook my head not daring to look at her "Baby, you have to talk to someone"

"No…I don't have to do anything" it was hard to breathe, the way she had said _everything_ clearly implied that she knew more than I had given her credit for.

"Please" I closed my eyes hearing her sob as her weak hands tried to grasp my own "You have to let him in…let him take care of you"

I shook my head again feeling desperation bubbling inside of me. I didn't want to be here hearing her ask those things from me. Why did she do this to me? I had given her everything I could for so long, how could she even ask for more? How could she ask for something like this when she knew, she fucking knew that it was impossible for us to be safe together?

_For once, let somebody take care of you_

James´ words rang in my mind over and over making things even harder.

"I don't need him taking care of me, I´m okay on my own…I´ve always been" I saw the pain inside her eyes as soon as my words left my mouth, I knew she hated the fact that she hadn´t taken care of me but at the moment I didn't care.

"And for that same reason it´s time to…"

"No!" I yelled before I could control myself. I shook my head once more standing up "I´m leaving" I told her hating myself for doing it but I didn't like lying to her "I have to get away from him" I swallowed trying to get rid of the lump inside my throat.

"…baby"

"Just leave it, okay!" I turned to look at her "I can´t live like that! I´m tired! I´m so fucking tired of everything! I want to leave, to have nothing to take care of, to be…" I trailed closing my eyes fully aware of what I was about to say.

"To be free?" she asked in a low voice "Kendall I don't blame you…you haven´t had the chance to be egoist, to think just of yourself in such a long time…"

"I´m sorry…I didn't mean…"

"Yes you did" I looked down hating myself for saying those words out loud "But being alone it´s not freedom"

"I can´t put him in danger" I whispered "Those people are my problem, not his"

"No Kendall" she began to sound a little breathless "Those people were your father´s problem, not yours" I couldn't help but chuckle darkly at this instantly getting her attention "No…" she whispered connecting the dots.

"You needed the chemo" I shrugged taking her hand "Now stop talking and rest" her eyes were filled with tears as she looked at me with such sadness that I had to tear my gaze away.

"I´m sorry"

"None of this was your fault" I moved to get the chair closer to the bed so I could sit while holding her hand "Sleep" I kissed her forehead before folding my arms on the bed so I could rest my head in them feeling her fingers in my hair "I love you" I whispered feeling my eyes heavy suddenly tired.

"I love you" she said as we both closed our eyes letting sleep take over us.

The next sound I heard was a constant beeping. For a second I thought about my alarm clock, thinking that all had been a horrible nightmare…until I felt a dead weight above my head.

"Mom?" I jerked awake looking at her "M-Mom?" I took her hand feeling it cold between my fingers "Mom!" I screamed feeling my breaths coming short as my whole body refused to believe my eyes "Doctor!" I turned around seeing a group of doctors and nurses already making their way inside the room "P-please!" I stood up putting my hands on her shoulders ignoring the people telling me to back off "Mom! Wake up! Please mom!"

"Someone take him away!" ordered the doctor and two sets of arms dragged me away as the doctor tried to revive my mother.

I couldn't breathe as I watched them work; my whole body shaking imploring God to let me have her a little more…I was supposed to be ready for this, but no. She couldn't leave me, I needed her.

_Please mom...don´t go, fight for me._

Just then the constant beep filled the room swallowing every other sound until the doctor spoke.

"Time of death 10:35 pm" and it all went black.

**OMG o.o just…wow it happened.**

**What did you think about this? Love it? Hate it? Love it but want to hit me?**

**Review please!**

**Ohh I´m such I bad person I know! But I have school, then I got out of town on vacation and I remodeled my room so yeah, I didn't have time sooo sorry!**

**Thank you all for your support!**

**Take care! :)**


	21. Chapter 20

CHAPTER 20

James PoV

Something was wrong.

I had never pried myself about having a sixth sense, hell I was completely dense most of the times. But not today. Something was different, off, and it really made a worried mess. I had tried to call Kendall, thinking that perhaps I was just missing him too much but as always, his phone was unresponsive sending me directly to voicemail. Then I turned my hopes to Carlos and Logan, they told me that they had last seen Kendall when he headed to hockey practice and after his crazy schedule the last week, they really had no idea where he was.

At the moment I was making a remarkable performance trying to act normal in front of potential associates. Of course I really had no clue about the details of the deal and my grandfather would probably give me shit for that but I couldn't bring myself to fully hear what they were saying, the whole presentation was a blur. I was only glad that I decided to bring my trusted assistant, Mia, with me to Washington, she was taking notes clearly noticing that I was not into the presentation.

"Is there a problem James?" she asked as the men talked among themselves.

"I don't know…do you have any calls for me? No one has tried to contact me?" I tapped the table with my fingers awaiting her answer.

"No…are you expecting one?" I shook my head seeing the executives move to start another rant about how incredible their company was and how perfect a deal for us it would be.

I was supposed to be excited about this; this had been my project from the start, the great boost the cosmetics division needed to be international. Why I felt like I wanted to run the fuck away from here? I really had no idea but again, it didn't feel good at all.

I raised my brow when Mia excused herself to answer the phone outside looking slightly troubled. I swallowed seeing a hundred different scenarios play in my head, I truly hoped that my gut was wrong and that it was only Nicholas complaining about something.

That hope went to the dump the second Mia came back looking pale.

"What is it?" I asked not caring that I had interrupted one of the expositors.

"It was from the hospital" my mouth went dry hearing her words.

"Is she…?"

"She´s dead" I felt her words like a slap in the face. I felt sick, like suddenly all the air around me had disappeared. I had known she had little time left, after my last visit I had made sure to read her whole medical history knowing that Kendall was not likely to share anything. I had also asked them to call me if something happened.

"Fuck" I whispered passing a hand through my face. Kendall. If I had problems getting around the idea of her death I couldn't even imagine how he must´ve been.

"Mr. Diamond?" I looked at the suited men around me; all of them had weary expressions waiting to hear what I was going to do next…

The hell, what was I _still _doing here?

"Sorry gentlemen but we´ll have to reschedule" I stood up and began gathering my things.

"Mr. Diamond, we are under a really tight schedule…I hardly think…" began one of them.

"Mr. Simmons, my mother in law just died, I don't care if you don't want to wait some more to close the deal, but I have to leave" said this I began walking out followed by Mia "Please call the captain…"

"Already on that, he says they´ll be ready in half an hour" I nodded taking long strides until I reached the stairs and practically jumped down knowing that the elevator would go slower. When I arrived at the parking lot, I got inside my car hitting the gas. I needed to get there fast.

After the fucking worst six hours of my entire life, I was finally there. I ran through the hospital´s entrance not caring about the angry shouts behind my back as I made my way to the nurse´s station.

"I´m here for Jennifer Knight" I told the nurse looking around in case Kendall was there while the woman checked the computer.

"I´m sorry sir but she…"

"I know" I choked closing my eyes not wanting to see her sorry look "Is her son in here? Kendall Diamond" I didn't even stop to think of how wonderful his name sounded with my last name, I needed to find him.

"Yes we transferred him to a room a couple of minutes ago" I froze. What? What had happed to him? "He had a nervous breakdown, we had to sedate him" she explained probably seeing my horrified look "I just need your name and relation to the patient before I tell you where"

"James Diamond and I´m his husband" I passed a hand through my hair hoping for the woman to hurry the hell up.

"Room 204" the instant my brain caught up with those numbers I ran to the second floor.

"201…202…203…" I stepped outside the room and took a deep breath before opening the door. Inside it was dark, the only light being a small lamp next to the bed where Kendall was resting. He looked so small, so broken. I fisted my hands gathering strength before letting out a breath and making my way to the chair next to him.

I sat fixing my eyes on his face feeling my gut clench at the sight of it. He looked thinner than the last time I saw him, his cheekbones looked sharper and his skin lacked more color than usual. He was curled up hugging his middle, like he was trying to hold himself together against the world…the fucking world that took away the most important being in his life, the world that married him to a douchebag and that pulled a bill above his head long before he could even call himself a man.

I raised my hand and caressed his cheek feeling my heart break for him. I had never felt so deeply for anyone in my life, I would give anything to make him happy, to keep him in my arms every day for the rest of our lives and to erase that aching aura from him. All I wanted to do was to jump on that bed and hug him, tell him that things would be fine but I was not sure I could, even if I refused to believe that he didn't feel anything for me I was not sure about the length of those feelings so I decided for taking his hand instead.

"I love you" I whispered kissing his knuckles "I will take care of you, either you want it or not" I promised before closing my eyes and letting out a long breath. I had to find a way to help him, to take away his burden and to make him open up to me. I pressed my lips together not moving my gaze from him, part of me wanted him to wake up so I could get lost inside those emerald eyes again, but I knew he needed the rest, he looked exhausted and drained "I hope you´re not planning on running away from me" I voiced my thoughts knowing that his mother had been a great influence on keeping us together, I really had no idea about his plans now.

I sat there for a couple of more hours, the doctors had already come and checked on him telling me that the sedatives were already off, that he was sleeping because his body needed it and that he could wake up in about an hour. I had listed to them telling me about Mrs. Knight death; how desperate and lost Kendall had looked, this somehow didn't surprised me. She had been the center of his life for so long, it was fair to understand that he would feel somehow lost without her, without a purpose to drive him forward.

Fuck, I remembered how I felt when my grandmother died, she had been the wise mind behind lots of advise, keeping me on track and guiding me to be a better men…of course I had been nothing like Kendall and I had ended up doing the exact opposite of what she had taught me.

Sometime after midnight I decided that I could drift off a little bit, I was a little jetlagged and tired from the trip, not to mention the lack of sleep that came with missing his body next to mine at night. I sighed trying to get comfy in that awful metal chair when I heard the unmistakable sound of a vibrating phone, I looked around spotting Kendall´s phone on the nightstand, I took it seeing the caller ID.

_Jett_

I really had no idea what pushed me to answer it.

Kendall PoV

I didn't want to wake up. I was beginning to think that I could happily die inside this blackness; let it swallow me so I couldn't feel anything, not the hurtful lump in my throat, the emptiness in my chest or fucking ache that enclosed every inch of my body. But even if I refused to acknowledge it, I could already feel the blissful darkness drifting away from me making me painfully aware of my surroundings. First I was conscious a soft bed beneath me and a thin sheet covering my body, then a constant aching in my muscles probably because of my position. And finally, a warm set of hands.

One of them combing my hair, letting its fingers caress my scalp with such care that for a second I could´ve thought that I had imagined it, because it almost reminded me the ghostly caress of my mother´s fragile hands…that simple thought, made me catch my breath at the wave of sorrow it created.

Desperate to drift my mind somewhere else, I made an effort to concentrate in something else, the other hand that was firmly grasping mine, like it was a way to tell me that I had to come back, that that was the way for me to hold on to any sanity that I could have left. A little voice inside my head thought that maybe it was all a dream and that no one was there. That I was alone, that she was gone forever and I would continue like this until I could not keep going or someone decided to end me…maybe that was the best option.

Die, rest…what was the difference? I just wanted it all to be over.

Suddenly, I began to feel cold. Not in a normal way, more like the lack of warmth that came from inside of me, crawled its way up shaking my body and forcing me to curl further into myself hoping to survive the dread that threatened to consume me.

_Kendall _

That voice. I knew it, it was him. James…but how? He was away, I had sent him far away, he couldn't be there.

_Kendall_

His voice called for me convincing me that maybe he _was_ there after all. He spoke softly and hesitant, like he feared I could break any moment. _Too late_, I was already broken and every piece fought to dig inside my soul making every breath painful.

She was gone. The reason that kept me going every single day was gone and now I had no idea what I had to do, where to go or if I even wanted to keep on going.

_Kendall, wake up._

I grasped his hand as I felt it moving away, he couldn't leave me, not him… I needed to see him, to hold him and never let go.

_Love, please, open your eyes!_

My breath hitched hearing the urgency in his voice and decided to make an effort and open them. At first I was completely blinded, not for the light, but because everything looked blurry. Then I realized that those were my own tears so I blinked a few times feeling them roll down my face finally clearing my vision.

And there he was.

He was looking at me through worried eyes as his hand anxiously caressed my hair and face. I wanted to ask him what was he doing there, he had mayor business back in Washington, he shouldn't be here…but the only sound that came from my lips the second I opened my mouth was a strangled sob and he didn't even take a second before his arms were securely around me.

And I could not hold it any longer.

I cried.

I cried for my father, the fucking bastard that didn't give a shit about his family. The monster that dared to show us as a perfect happy family when he knew that me, his fucking kid, had seen him fucking countless sluts over the years. The sick addict that had gambled everything until his last breath, not caring what could´ve become of his wife and son.

I cried for my mother, my beautiful mother that had been taken away so unfairly. That had suffered most of her life but at the same time, had always kept a bright smile for me when she knew I needed it the most.

I screamed in rage for myself, deciding to be selfish just this once. I yelled for the kid that had sought revenge on innocents, hoping that they suffered more than him so he could think that his life wasn't a complete hell. For the boy that had lost everything, including his childhood for the sake of his dying mother. For whoever I was today, that couldn't make the man he loved happy because it was too dangerous, too painful to be around him.

I asked him fucking _why? Why her? Why us?_ Until my throat gave up and I could only whisper curses as my fingers dug inside his back. I knew that it must´ve been painful but he didn't say a thing. He just kept hugging me; letting me get it all out awaiting the moment when my body couldn't take it any longer. Somehow his body had migrated so he was resting next to me on the bed, keeping my head firmly on the crook of his neck as his arms enveloped me giving me his much needed warmth.

I began to feel my eyes heavy as my body, drained from all I had asked from it, decided that it was time to shut down for a while. My breaths kept a stubborn hitching even after all the tears were gone and his shirt was soaking wet. His hands made calming circles around my back as I tried to gather the strength to look at him, but I was too ashamed, too vulnerable to really do it.

James PoV

I felt him gradually relax against my chest. I felt guilty thinking that I was glad it was over, but I was. He hadn´t cried silently, just letting mute tears go their way, he had cried like everything he did, giving it his all. I had felt every sob, every groan and scream right through me, I had felt his sorrow, his hate and frustration over his own life.

He had let me see everything that had been stored deep inside of him for most of his life and all I could do was to hold him, to let him know that I wouldn't let go, not now, not ever.

"I love you" I whispered kissing his hair and my heart gave a leap when instead of pushing me away, he seized me even harder making sure that every part of his body was in contact with mine and a couple of minutes later he fell asleep.

I watched how his body seemed a lot more peaceful, probably because he had decided to let part of his burden go and I could not be more grateful for that. I closed my eyes knowing that even if I was tired I wouldn't be able to sleep, not while I heard Jett´s words roll around my head every second.

_Poor Kenny, he has no idea that I already know who the secret little boyfriend is…tell me James, what are you willing to do to protect him?_

**Hehee cliffy… :P**

**Owww Thank you, thank you so much for all the faves and reviews! Really you make my week :)**

**Now I know it´s short but I wanted to update today, what did you think about this chapter? Ohohohoo I wanted to write this for some time now, this will get interesting! So, love it? Hate it? Review?**

**P.S. I´ll go camping next week so I won´t be able to update, be kind to me and don't kill me haha**

**Take care!**


	22. Chapter 21

CHAPTER 21

Kendall PoV

The man at the other side of the mirror looked at me in the eye. His face was smooth and calm, showing his shaved and strong jaw, a jaw that I had only seen in my father´s face…_I hated it_. His bushy brows were relaxed, freeing them from the edges of worry that normally adorned them, his dirty blond hair looked shiny and taken care of, his pale skin seemed soft and healthy even with the purple marks under his eyes that made his cheekbones stand out a little.

I knew him, his face was familiar but at the same time completely unknown.

Over the years I had lost contact with my reflection, always too busy or too ashamed to really see who I had grown up to be. Right now I saw a stranger, someone young that could hope for a future…too bad I didn't feel like that at all.

I felt tired, I felt sad…I felt _old_, just like the pair of emerald eyes that looked back at me. I sighed looking down as my hands grasped the sink. It had been years since I had felt my own age, years since I had let myself hope, to try to get a better life just for my own good. Now I was just too damn tired to think at all.

"Kendall?" I heard James´ voice at the other side of the door. We were about to leave for my mother´s funeral, the last chance I had to see her before she was cremated and I honestly was not prepared to face that…strangely, after hours of her death I felt calm and even if sorrow and sadness crawled my skin, I was relaxed and at peace, just like my reflection. At first, I thought I had lost my mind, my ability to_ feel_, but then, I remembered one time I had lost hope and my willingness to help her, when I had truly spent every ounce of will in my body, there had been one person that put me on my feet again, Mr. Vazquez, the shy husband of my mother´s caretaker, he had pulled me aside, away from my mother and looked at me in the eye and only asked: _Well, if she dies, would you be sad because she left or be broken because you didn't do all you could to keep her with you?_ His words had burned into my heart never letting me forget the reason I couldn't stop trying…and now I knew that he had been right, I missed her terribly but I could breathe knowing that there had been nothing else we could´ve done to save her, she had parted in her sleep knowing that I loved her…I felt no regrets, no guilt, only _pure_ awful sadness "Can I come in?"

"…just a second" I managed to say hating that every time I spoke my voice sounded broken. I closed my eyes just as I heard the door getting open and James´ footsteps coming inside "I told you to wait" I felt the sting of tears burn my eyes, apparently once I opened that door it was impossible to close it.

"You need me here" he put his hand on my back and his forehead against my temple.

"I don't need anybody" I clenched my eyes silently ordering my body to take back control, to stop feeling this pain that was ripping my soul apart "I can take care of myself" I flinched at the sad attempt of a comeback. After James had held me for God knows how long, I had calmed enough to think again and I had been aware of the fact that the most part of me didn't want to fight him any longer. My heart screamed for him harder every time, winning enough ground to make me rethink my reasons to leave him and for the first time, I was completely torn between doing what was best for somebody else or doing what was best for _me_.

"You tell me _that_ looking right inside my eyes, and then I _might_ think of believing you" I took a deep breath desperately trying to do just that, but a sob got caught in the middle of my breathing fucking any further attempt of composure. He just stood there, caressing my back in soothing circles while he hid his face in the crook of my neck…I silently thank him for that, he was showing me his support and giving me my space at the same time, but then, why did I feel like I needed more? Why all of a sudden I wanted him to fight me and embrace me tearing down all my possible complains? "Be strong for her. Just one more day" he whispered and just like that, the tears stopped leaving me trying to get hold of my trembling knowing that he was right; I had to be strong one last time. I kept breathing feeling less on edge with every intake, while I thought hard about how he had known exactly what to say to get me back in control. He cupped my chin and made me look at him before passing his thumbs through my face and cleaning the tears away. His eyes were warm and understanding as his hand sneaked to mine holding it with his strong grip "You´re not alone, I´m here. We´ll get through this" said this he moved forward giving my lips a small peck and my hand shot up to grasp his shirt before he could step away. I felt his gaze searching for mine but I kept my eyes stubbornly landed, I had no idea why I had reacted like this, I should´ve been pushing him away not clinging to him like a lost puppy, however, my body ached so fucking much from all the pain it had endured over the years, that the only relief it had left was when James was close and, apparently, it was not ready to give him up. It was like everything I had built up in my whole life had come crashing down the second my mother seized to exist, and he was the only one that could make _something_ with the pieces.

I frantically searched my mind for some sort of excuse for my actions, but before I could even think of one he was already hugging me. Knowing that I wanted everything but to move away, I closed my eyes letting my body relax as I inhaled his scent allowing my heart to beat faster, finally getting rid of some of the ache that had trapped it from the moment I had felt my mother´s lifeless hand above my head. I moved until my head was inside the crook of his neck feeling his pulse against my lips.

It felt steady, firm and…_safe_.

I had never thought about how good it would be to feel a normal, _healthy_, solid pulse against my skin. I already knew his fast heartbeat, the one that took over his body every time we kissed or had sex, but in all honesty I hadn´t really put much attention to the one he had when he was calm, but now that I had, I thought that I might had found a new favorite place. I shifted my hand until it rested against his clothed chest letting his rhythmic beating lure my anxiety away. I closed my eyes letting myself enjoy his hug as my mind went back to the moment I woke up in the hospital.

_It was warm, so warm and good that I didn't want to wake up knowing that it could just be a trick from my mind. The world was not warm, in fact, it was ice cold and lonely…I was alone without her. _

_I rather sleep in this heavenly warmth forever…but, as all things in my life, nothing came out the way I wanted it to, hence my mind began to clear enough to start being aware of my surroundings. First, my body didn't feel as beat up as it had felt before, it actually felt lighter and relaxed…which was _weird_. Secondly, there was _the warmth_, that furnace that was glued to me giving me all the heat I needed to keep the coldness of despair at bay. For a second I became anxious not knowing where it was from, until I took a deep breath getting a unmistakable smell, a combination of Cuda products, cologne and musk, that could only belong to one person._

James.

_I remembered then he had been there, with me. He had seen me completely broken, even further than I had feared. Even if I had known that this was due to happen sooner or later, I still felt weak and wrong for having shed tears…_a true man, never weeps and never shows weakness_… quoted my father´s voice in my head making me cringe, the last thing I needed was to remember him. Grimacing at the rage that built up inside of me like every time I thought of that man, I made myself open my eyes being temporally blinded not expecting the light of day that illuminated the room._

_I was still in that hospital bed, my body completely embraced by my husband…it was like he knew how much I needed his warmth, like he knew how cold I was inside. I licked my lips before moving carefully so I could see his face._

_My first reaction after days of not seeing him was to lose my breath. He was so beautiful that I still found hard to believe that he could be in love with me. I let my eyes travel around his face hungrily taking everything in, feeling like I was taking a huge breath after years of barely letting air through my lungs. But none of that compared when he stirred and opened his eyes._

"_Hey" he whispered looking at me with his gorgeous eyes. I couldn't answer him, not yet; I needed to get a hold of my emotions if I wanted to get out of that room and not another needle in my arm. So I just moved my hand until it cupped his face, letting my fingers caress his soft skin. He closed his eyes sighing, like he had expected me to push him away from me the second I opened my eyes and now that he saw that those weren't my intentions, he could finally relax._

_I had expected the same thing. But even now, when I was still in a dreamlike haze, where I could hold myself away from reality, I heard my mother´s words over and over again…he had wanted me to let him in, to stay with him. And even if at that moment I had refused to hear her out, the weight in my chest and the loss of something so dear to me, something so fucking close to my soul, had made me realize that I couldn't lose anyone else, not by force and certainly not by my own will, but I was not strong enough to try to do anything. I was tired of always finding rocks in my path, of never having the chance to be happy and just struggle with the _normal _things in life…how was this fair? How was I supposed to bear all of this and make a choice between his life and my selfish wish to stay with him when I knew that by doing that I was putting him in danger?_

"Please talk to me" I took breath startled at the raw plead in his voice. I shifted until I could look at his hazel eyes deciding that I wanted to tell him how I felt, that I wanted him to know what was going on inside of me...I wanted to let him _in_.

"I´m…" I bit my lip as my voice died in my throat. After years and years of being the strong one, it was fucking hard to simply let myself be comforted, but I was sure that if I didn't say anything, if I didn't ask for his help I would go completely insane…I was too terrified to watch my dead mother, I didn't want to see what was left of her, I didn't want to remember her like that, but I also wanted to see her one more time, to kiss her hands, her cheek and tell her that I loved her before it was truly over "I´m scared" I whispered so low, so pitiful that for a moment I wished that he hadn´t heard me, he didn't need to see me like this, to see the true broken person that I was.

"I didn't see my mother when she died" he spoke after a moment in a low voice, just for my ears to hear "I was mad at her because she had run off with a man…" I frowned at the resentment in his voice "The only reason she lived so long was my grandmother, she took care of both of us" he chuckled dryly "That´s one of the things I admire about you. You stepped up and became a man while I did everything I could to close deep inside myself, to let life throw things at me and never fight back" I raised my head trying to not think much about the warmth his words had spread over my chest, so little people in my word took the time to tell me that I was admirable…hell, he was probably the only one that was crazy enough to look up to me. Shedding those thoughts away, I focused my attention on his gaze, his eyes were clouded looking at the wall behind my back "When my mother died I felt sad, she was young, barely on her thirties…"

"But you were fourteen…"I found myself saying thinking that his words meant that she had been really young when she had him.

"She sometimes felt more like my sister" He nodded.

"Your dad…dude, she was a teenager" I knew that James´ father had been in his fifties when he died, that meant that he had been, at least, around ten years older than her.

"Only a few years younger than you love" he smiled sadly as my heart contracted at the easiness he had when he said the endearment…_love_…when the hell had he even started to call me that? It seemed to get more constant with each passing day and -God help me- I freaking _loved_ when he said it "But yeah…we weren't rich, hell we barely had what to eat twice a day…so, my mom began taking drugs and…she…also took sex as her outlet and income…" he sighed harshly closing his eyes as a sudden blush covered his skin. I didn't move not knowing what to do. He seemed so embarrassed, so frighten of what I could think of his life. This was a different James than the one I had first met, he was a _person_ now, he was _human_ not the Godlike-rich-asshole I met that first day; and now he was telling me things so personal to him that he seemed to struggle for words…only to make _me_ feel better, because I knew that behind all this was a warning, a memory to give me strength… in that moment I realized that that was the most noble thing anyone -that wasn't my mother- had ever done for me. My breath hitched as my whole soul vibrated with love actions squeezing my heart even harder at the mere thought of leaving him "She was a whore and she died of overdose…and I hated her…I hated her for leaving me…for never acknowledging me as her son and never defending me from…from the men that loved to tease the little, dumb, _fat_ kid...and for that I refused to go to her funeral" he said that last part quietly and bitterly looking at his shoes. For a second… for a mere blink…I had a vision, a memory that came from deep within my mind as I saw his tormented hazel eyes lose all the green they could possibly have making them a dull and sad brown…so much like the ones that crept inside my nightmares every time I made the mistake of thinking about my past.

_Jimmy…why are you playing in the rain?_

I shook my head trying to get rid of the whispers from my childhood as they attempted to get back into surface…I couldn't think of _him_, not now when everything was raw and more vulnerable than ever.

"You okay?" James asked resting his hand on my hips.

"Do you regret it?" I decided that I could focus on his story instead of mine. The past was a dangerous path for me.

"For years I thought I didn't" he answered after a moment probably deciding not to push things for now "But when I met my father and finally got him to talk about my mother…he gave me the opportunity to know her" he rested his forehead against mine closing his eyes for a moment prior talking again "I saw things from her perspective because my dad did fall in love with her, he fell for that vibrant and young girl that he met in a bar…at the time he didn't know her age or what she did for a living. Once he found out how old she was, he flew away, thinking that by doing that he was letting her live a better life…the thing was, that for my mother he had only been the idiot that would get her away from poverty, until she found out she was pregnant…my grandmother never told me what made her keep the secret or keep me…she went back for sex and drugs as an escape, she was lost and scared" I was witness of all the emotions playing in his eyes and gradually the green and gold grew back as his gaze got filled with empathy "She made bad choices, but sometimes, when she was better, she hugged me and told me that it wasn't my fault, that I had to listen to my grandmother and not make the same mistakes she did…just when I let myself remember this, I was able to forgive her and I hate the fact that I wasn´t there to say the final goodbye" He grimaced "I know this has nothing to do with you and your mom, you already know that you were her world and she knew she was yours, but still, I don't want you to look back and regret not going to her only because you´re angry or scared, you owe it to yourself to be there until the last moment because thanks to you she lived ten more years, she got to see you graduate from high school and become a man" he swallowed "I know it´s hard. Later when my grandmother died I was terrified of seeing her, thinking that the image of her in a box was going to hunt me for life, but every time that that moment flashes inside my mind, I try my best to think of the last time I saw her smile, of the last time she yelled at me for eating all the Twinkies, or the last time she rolled her eyes at one of my stories and that way, I can somehow replace a bad memory with a good one and focus on the good things…it gets easier over time" at this he grimaced looking flustered and uneasy and without even noticing I smiled, it wasn't a huge smile, or a happy one, but it was real and it was only for him, only for the man that had made me love him when I had refused to love, the man that was so different from me but at the same time, understood me like no one else…and it killed me to know that I could never say that to him.

"What?" He frowned, his eyes sparkling showing me that he had seen through my smile.

"That was the worst pep talk ever" I said making him snort and feeling my smile grow even a little bit more.

"Yeah I thought so" He grimaced until his hand moved to touch my face letting a gentle shine pass through his eyes "We got to know each other, maybe not the best time but I want you to know me" I swallowed not having any idea what to say to that.

"It worked…thank you" I whispered before taking a step forward and connecting my lips to his in a gentle kiss prior taking his hand seeing our matching rings shine. I took a deep breath connecting our eyes and silently pleading him to help me stay strong "Let´s go".

**You know when people say that stories have their own mind? Well it´s true, this thing was not supposed to happen! And yet, here it is hahaha it probably was due to the fact that I had been shockingly happy these past days and it was hard to really write angst…hum.**

**The question Mr. V asks Kendall was something my mother asked once, and I think it's a little bit of wisdom because, at least for us, it´s true…you dwell on the loss of that loved person, but you feel calm and good because you were always there for them, not complaining and doing everything you could to keep them good…I just thought that Kendall, once he had the time to really think about just his mother´s death and not about eeeverything else, he would feel just like that :)**

**Okaaay! Well Thank you all for all the faves and reviews! Really I just love to hear from you! **

**You people, are amazing :) And say yay for BTR season 3 first ep! Go Kames! Hahaha I love the sword fight…if you know what I mean ;) and of course! Logan and his book, I thought that was awesome! I get just like that when I read one, and I loved Carlos just going all over him heheee I might have some ideas related to that XD**

**And this must be the longest A/N EVER so time to finish! Did you liked it? Loved it? Hated it? Review!**

**Take care!**


	23. Chapter 22

CHAPTER 21

Kendall PoV

My mother´s funeral had been something…_else_.

I remembered the way my lungs had flushed out all the air, like someone had kicked me in the gut, when I first saw her body in the service. She had been clad in a peach dress, her nails polished, her head covered by a flowered scarf…she looked beautiful and relaxed, too bad that she also had been pale and cold as ice.

I could repeat every single word I had said about her, about her infinite love and care, about her strength and will to keep going…I could even say what other people had said. Like Mrs. Vazquez, who said that my mother had been the best friend she could ever have, and that she would miss their afternoons filled with poker and gossip, or even a nurse that said that even if she had met her briefly, she would always cherish her because she had proven to be the counselor she had needed in that moment.

I could cry all over again, remembering all the known faces, all the people that had taken a little time to be there…for me. _FOR ME_. I really had no idea what to make up of this, at first I was a kind of mad because this was about my mother, not me, then I realized that maybe it was for me too, they were there to comfort me, to show me their support and tell me that I was not alone.

Mrs. Jenkins

Katie

Finn

Logan

Carlos

All of them had been there for me, making me feel less like shit and more _at home_. There, safely tucked under my husband´s arm surrounded by people that didn't care about whom I was or what I had done in the past, people that were there because, for some reason, they cared about me…

_James  
><em>He had been mostly silent, but somehow I could feel his support in every grasp, every caress and every feathery kiss he had given me. Even after everything was over and I was clutching The Urn with my trembling hands, knowing that that was my breaking point, he had stood there, calming my tremors until exhaustion claimed me and I feel asleep between his arms.

And that was how I had woken up, cuddled against his body, hugging him and not the least worried about what he might thing about me being overly clingy…I had already accepted that given my recent behavior, I was unlikely to convince him that I didn't feel for him.

My heart felt a lot lighter just for that thought.

"You awake?" he asked passing his fingers through my hair. I sighed prior nodding not bothering in opening my eyes "How are you feeling?"

"Like shit"

"It will get easier…over time" I felt his lips kissing my shoulder "Did she ever tell you what she wanted you to do with her ashes?"

"Yeah…I´m not sure if I want to do it though"

"Why?" he tried to move away but I tightened my embrace not being ready to face him just yet "I want to look at you" I shook my head.

"She wanted me to take them to the place where she met my father…I don't get how she could still love him after…after everything" I felt my blood boil "He didn't deserve it…none of it"

"Will you tell me about him?" I pressed my lips together not knowing how to answer that because, for the first time in my life, I actually wanted to tell someone but I was too afraid, Jett was still around and he could still hurt James.

"I…I want to but…" I sighed "Why is my life so complicated?"

"Now you sound like a thirteen year old" he mused make me laugh "Now that´s something I like to hear"

"How can you like that? I know for sure that I have a horrible laugh" I moved to look at him glad for the much lighter atmosphere.

"Yeah well, that´s what makes it adorable" said this he pulled me for a kiss. I closed my eyes letting myself enjoy the feeling of his velvety lips against my own, the way his warm breath ghosted through my mouth and how his hands travelled down my body grasping my ass possessively.

"My mother´s funeral was just yesterday, even I thought you would control your hornyness" I spoke playfully.

"Now I feel like a complete pervert and a horrible person" he grinned in a self depreciating way.

"She did ask for me to stay by you, so I guess she wouldn't mind" this must have been the wrong thing to say because his eyes lost their shine as he looked at me.

"Is that the reason you decided to stop fighting me?" he asked in a flat voice.

"N-no…" my heartbeat went crazy knowing that if I wanted him to believe me, I needed to tell him the real reason, I needed to tell him that I loved him.

"Then, why?" the coldness of his eyes was like a kick in the gut. I knew that it was just because he was hurt but suddenly my throat closed and I couldn't make a sound. Fuck.

I was ashamed to accept that I was completely frightened; my fucked up life and my fears prevented me from erasing that pained light from his hazel gaze. I just lay there, watching him getting up and going out of the room clearly mad at my lack of response. I passed my hands through my face, all this time I had thought that I couldn't tell him the truth in fear of his safety, but the real reason was that I was terrified of leaving my heart in the open, of giving him everything…nothing good could last in my life, I knew that the second I let my guard down, I would be kicked down again, and I couldn't take it, not without my mother with me.

"Fuck" I hissed feeling tears flow from my eyes in sadness and frustration…I had no idea what to do now.

James PoV

Part of me knew that I shouldn't be this hurt, this mad, at him. He had never said that he wanted for me something more than –perhaps- a friendship. Even before I left to Washington, he had pushed me away…but I had started to hope, to think that now that I knew why he kept me at arm's length, he would start to lower his barriers and trust me more.

Little I thought that he would only let me in because of his mother. Because he needed my support over her death or because being with me was her last wish…it pained me more than I was able to comprehend.

For that entire day, his behavior could´ve fooled me. Those days I had almost forgotten that our marriage wasn't real. I could almost see us like that through the years, together as one, against everything life threw at us.

Maybe that was it.

I had seen what we could be, I had felt it. And I refused to let him crawl his way out of it. I refused to let him run away from me.

"What the hell happened to you?" I raised an eyebrow at Katie´s words once I found myself inside the living room.

"You´re ten years old, you shouldn't be talking like that, what would happen if your mother hears you?" I grinned in spite of my mournful mood.

"Good thing she decided to ditch me and leave you to take care of me" she smiled "Now, talk, did you have a fight with Kendall?"

"Not exactly…I´m just frustrated with him" I shrugged looking at the entrance door when Carlos was getting inside "Hey there labor boy, how´s life?" I smiled.

"Complicated Sir…too complicated" he answered walking to my side "I need to talk to you"

"I´m all ears" I frowned really looking at him. He seemed tired and worried; he even looked a little thinner…for a second I felt like the worst friend in the world for not noticing earlier just because I was too caught up in my own shit "I can tell something´s wrong…talk to me"

"I´m leaving" I blinked once, twice and a third time and I still didn't want to believe my ears.

"Come again?"

"To Mexico, in less than two weeks" I gaped at him clearly not having any idea of what to do about that, he couldn't leave, he was my best friend –whom was fucking my other best friend!- and I needed him.

"No!" yelled Katie "Y-you can´t leave!"

"I have to" he mumbled looking down…at least he didn't say that he wanted to leave.

"Why?" I asked sounding a lot more controlled than what I felt. First Kendall and now Carlos! What was going on?

"My mother" he sighed "She´s old and I want to be with her before she dies…I miss my family" I grimaced feeling a little pang in my chest, it sounded almost like he didn't consider us part of said family "Don't take it like that James"

"Like what?" I spat. Somewhere inside of me I knew I was being unfair to him, but it really was the worst moment to let me know about this.

"You know that you´re my brother too" he put his hand on my shoulder "But I miss my other brothers too…and I can´t just visit them, the video chats aren't enough"

"Have you thought about applying for a citizenship by naturalization?" we both turned to the right where Kendall was standing, his gaze stubbornly in every place that wasn't me…apparently we were back in square one "Mr. and Mrs. V did it and it wasn't _that_ hard"

"No…I don't think I´m eligible for it" shrugged Carlos.

"You´ve been living here more than ten years, you have an stable job, you know the language…I know they ask something about American history but we both know that Logan can tutor you about that" at this Carlos blushed and gave a little smile "Don't run away before you have seen all the possibilities…that way you can go visit your relatives and come back here"

"Like I have the money for that" Carlos rolled his eyes looking at lot less miserable. Kendall had a nice point.

"I any of us wouldn't pay for every trip" said Katie rolling her eyes "You won´t get away from us that easily…now come on lets research what you need for that" said this she took his hand and ran to her room leaving me alone with my husband.

"James…"

"No…not right now" I shook my head "I need to go to the office" Said this, I walked outside the house. I knew that I should had stayed there and hear what he wanted to say, but I could only beg him so much, this was starting to feel a lot like when we were kids.

Kendall PoV

"Is there anything you need?" I asked the old man in front of me. He was looking at me through his hazel eyes like I was some sort of bug. It unnerved me to annoyingly high levels.

"I can see that you´re finally out of that room" he spoke with a cold voice and I had to prevent myself from rolling my eyes.

"Yeah" I said not looking at him as I hugged my folded legs. I was really trying to keep myself together and not run to James to make him listen to me…the problem was that I had no idea what I wanted to tell him in the first place.

"You know, that couch is an expensive one, you shouldn't put your shoes in it and you should respect other people´s property" I frowned not liking the tone of his voice and the fact that he made me feel like a five year old.

"As far as I´m concerned, this whole house is my property" I spat glaring at him "Mr. Diamond, I really am not in the mood to be polite with anybody, so please tell me what do you want or leave me alone" the man narrowed his eyes as something dangerous darkened them, I knew I shouldn't say those kinds of things to the man that was in charge of deciding how truthful my marriage was, but as for now, I was not happy with myself and the old man was not helping.

"You better respect me boy, or your eager hands will never hold one cent of my grandson´s money" I pressed my lips together and looked down knowing that I couldn't defend my love for James without revealing _my fucking love for James_, but just like every time I thought about this, my mother´s words rang in my head over and over again.

_You have to let him in…let him take care of you_

She had used her last breath to ask me that, probably knowing that once my head began to work again, I would think of them every second of the day…it was safe to say that, as for now, I was not so sure about leaving him. I bit my lip hearing the man´s light chuckle, he thought he was right. For him and his wife I was bounty hunter, just managing to live with James for his money.

"You don't even try to deny it" he said and I sensed his voice even more tight that before "I really, really hoped to be wrong…sadly I can see James and how he feels about you" I swallowed feeling a pang in my chest at his words "How much?"

"What?" I raised my head to look at him.

"How much do you want to leave my grandson alone?" my breath got caught in my throat "I know it´s better for him to deal with a broken heart than having someone like _you_ getting his money" A shiver ran down my spine. There it was; my chance to get out, to have enough money to start off in somewhere else, to be free…

_Being alone it´s not freedom._

My mother's words pulled me back to the ground painfully…maybe some months ago I would be able to do this, to jump through that exit without a second thought, but now I simply knew that I couldn't do that to James. I could not bare the idea of hurting him like that, of proving everyone right by going for his money and not caring about him; it didn't matter what reason I had to do it, he would never believe it.

"You could offer me all the money in the world, but the answer to that would still be the same: I won't leave him" I met his eyes feeling exhaustion clouding my glare but I did not hesitate. Maybe I was completely fucked up, destined to die under a gun after fucking up everything good in my life, but I would not let this man take James from me before time.

"Why?" I fisted my hands feeling a physically ill at this point…I needed to tell someone, not just because I would prove that I was not after his money, but because it would make it real and being real, it was more likely that I couldn't deny it in front of James.

"Because I care about him" I whispered lowering my gaze somehow knowing that he had heard me.

"That´s not what I see"

"I know" I looked back at him "But that´s how things are supposed to be" he frowned and for the first time I saw uncertainty in his eyes.

"My grandson left the most important project of his life because you needed him. If you want me to at least doubt my eyes, you have to show him that same commitment" I sighed and stood up glaring at the man.

"What do you want me to do? Go to his office like the perfect wife and invite him to a homemade dinner just for the two of us? I´m not that kind of person"

"Maybe not dinner, not yet at least, but maybe some office sex might be good…after all we both know how much my grandson loves physical intimacy"

"And whoring around his office it´s gonna prove _what _exactly?" I narrowed my eyes hating the image of James that the man was describing…maybe office sex was awesome and all, but not to prove things.

"Maybe the action itself won´t prove much, but your reaction did" I looked at the man like he was crazy as he smiled and fucking _winked_ at me before he turned back "The idea it´s still a good one and I´m sure James would appreciate it" he walked to the study. I stood there, gaping like an idiot as the _bipolar-crazy_ old man decided to give me a high account of dirty ideas for my husband.

"Oh Fuck it!" I yelled before running to our room to change my clothes before running for the car keys and going to his office.

It was time for me to start showing James that I did care about him.

James PoV

I was walking back to my office after a really frustrating meeting and a weird message from my grandfather –It said ´Have fun and make it right, you need someone like that´. What the Fuck?-. I really needed to get into work to forget all about the blond that I liked to call my husband. Maybe it was time for me to remember that this was only a six months deal, that it would end sooner than later.

"Mr. Diamond?"

"What?" I practically growled at my poor secretary. Really I was going to lose my job because of him "Sorry, what is it?"

"You have a visitor inside your office" she answered meekly.

"Why did you let them in? What have I told you about letting people inside?" there was really no ending to this day.

"Well…he said he was your husband" I was shocked for the second time that day. Numbly I thanked her before making my way inside. There he was, looking as beautiful as ever with his eyes gazing back at me and his hands…holding my grandmother´s portrait.

Fuck.

**I´m such a horrible person! But I will write more! This chapter was kind of "meh" for me, just a bridge to get to the good stuff xD I´m at the beach right now! So YAY! Hahaha**

**Pleaseee review! Kendall will finally find out! Let me know how you think he might react and all xD And what about James´grandfather! Hahahaha He made me laugh xD**

**What will happen to Carlos?**

**What about Jett and the bad people?**

**How about the cute Piano Kames in the "All over again" video? **

**Will my blue hair survive so many questions?**

**Hahahaha Like it? Hated it? Loved it?**

**Take care!**


	24. Chapter 23

CHAPTER 23

James PoV

"I guess this explains…a lot" spoke Kendall in a strained voice. His eyes were dark and unreadable, his expression completely blank. It was frustrating; I had gotten used to read him like an open book…now I couldn't even imagine what was going around his head.

"What are you doing here?" I asked him ignoring the elephant in the room. I saw his jaw twitch showing me that he was not pleased with my lack of explanations. Shit, I knew that he used to be moody and aggressive as a kid, but I had never witnessed said behavior in the present…right now he really looked like he wanted to punch me.

"I wanted to surprise you, but I guess that this time the joke´s on me" he grinned sardonically "I should be leaving" I didn't like that smile on him nor the steely shade inside his eyes.

"Why did you come?" I blocked the door with my body.

"Had a weird talk with your grandfather…the man freaks me out" he shrugged and even if his whole demeanor seemed at ease, the tightness around his eyes and the tension in his back spoke otherwise "So I came here…you know…like a good wife" his almost imperceptible wince let me know that he was not telling the truth…perhaps he had come here just to see me, to fix things.

And now we were fucked up because I hadn´t told him who I was.

"Can we not talk about this here?" I asked fully knowing that this was going to be big and my office just didn't seem like the best place for that discussion.

"About what?" he clenched his jaw "About the fact that I finally know the million dollar answer to our fucked up _partnership_" he spat "Don't worry about it, I get it" he frowned thinking about his own words "Not really…no, I don't get it, why didn't you tell me?"

"Not here" I shook my head thinking about the whole lot of appointments that I had for the day. I couldn't cancel them and it was fucking unfair "I can´t leave right now and we _have_ to talk about this" he didn't look at me; he just pressed his lips and gave a sharp nod.

"Can I leave now?"

"No!" he narrowed his eyes as I turned red as a cherry prior sounding my throat "I-I…you´re already here, we could always, get some lunch?" he looked down before glaring at me.

"How can you do that?"

"Do what?" I frowned.

"How can you_ not_ hate me?" his eyes finally lost all blankness showing me how utterly confused he really was about that.

"Because I love you" he grimaced stepping back and I kind of felt like he had slapped me.

"No…you can´t love the monster that did all those things to you" he said softly stubbornly keeping his gaze away from me.

"I think I should be the judge of that…I was against the idea at first but then I knew more about you, about what you had gone through…"

"So you pitied me" his whole demeanor hardened and just as I was going to tell him how idiotic that sentence was, my assistant decided to intervene.

"_Mr. Diamond, the Japanese delegates are asking for a video conference with you…I think you should take it, it´s pretty late for them and we need their support_" my eyes flickered to the intercom not wanting to make him think that work was more important than him, but she was right and it was probably my last chance to get their help.

"Take it" my head shot back to him "I know how important this is for you"

"Not more than you" he gave me a small smile.

"Let´s leave that for later…" he breathed "See you tonight" I took two strides, cupped his face and kissed his forehead having the terrible feeling that he might push me away if I tried to kiss him on the lips.

"Just because I have been working in this for far too long" I told him "Go, we´ll talk at night" I tried to move away but a pair of hands prevented me from it. I searched his face trying to guess his emotions and before I knew it, I was pressed against the wall as a pair of fucking sweet lips ravished my mouth.

Who would´ve thought that being on the receiving end of all that aggressive sexyness would be such a…turn on? I moaned pulling him closer to me feeling my blood boil as his hands grasped my ass pushing my hips to meet his.

"Fuck…Kendall, oh" I closed my eyes completely forgetting about work, about our past, about everything that wasn't his mouth on my neck…until he froze. I blinked feeling his breath against my jaw "Well…Wow" he stepped away, his face like a tomato and his eyes wide, like he didn't believe what he had done.

"I-I´ll see you home" said this he practically flew out of the room.

He left me to deal with uptight Japanese's with a set of blue balls…not fucking fair.

Logan PoV

There was nothing better to make you forget about a stressing day at the hospital, than having a sexy latino fucking the daylights out of you.

Slowly

Sensually

_Lovingly_

"I don't know if I want to tell you to speed up or ask you to keep like this forever" I breathed against his lips smiling at the light chuckle that my words evoked.

Our bodies were covered in a small layer of sweat, gliding against the other in a way that every little place that came in contact with his heated skin burned with need of more. My eager hands roamed through his physique greedily memorizing every bit of him, letting my nails mark his back for everyone to see.

"You feel so good" he claimed my lips once more as my legs encircled his hips pushing him to me.

The feeling of his heart beating so close to mine sent a shiver down my spine, but unlike the previous ones, this one filled my soul with longing and want. He was leaving me, finishing this way before it could really start. Suddenly desperate for more closeness, I hugged his shoulders burying my face in the crook of his neck.

"Faster" I barely whispered sensing my insides constrict painfully "Take me, all of me" he moved to kiss me in such way that, for a moment, I felt like he had read my mind fully getting what was tormenting me. Then he grasped the mattress and pounded into me like his life depended on it, like he could do only so much to keep us together for a little longer.

I opened my mouth in a silent cry as my climax arrived taking me completely by surprise. I bent my spine under him just before I felt his seed shoot inside of my body almost making me orgasm for a second time. He moved inside of me a couple more times before crumbling on top of me.

We just lay there. Hugging the other as the aftershocks left our bodies and just like that, I knew, I fucking knew that I couldn't let this end, that I couldn't watch something as amazing as this finish.

And shit, we hadn´t even gone to our first date.

"Don't leave" I widen my eyes when my brain caught up with my mouth finally getting what I had just said. Carlos had gone completely immobile with my sudden words. I had a habit of never backing down on the things I said but right now…now I couldn't let him think too much in my selfish words "S-sorry…I know you want to, j-just pretend I didn't say anything" he began moving away and I had to make myself lose my hold on him so he could put some distance between us…God I really hated that phrasing.

"Why would I stay?" His eyes searched mine. My first thought was to tell him about James and Katie, about his work and his friends, but in some way I knew that those weren´t the right things to say, that it was time to talk for real about what was going on here.

"Because I´m asking you" I sounded my throat "Because I care a lot about you and I don't want us to end" he sighed before letting out a small smile.

"Good thing Kendall thought of a way for me to stay and still be able to visit my family" he moved to lay next to me wrapping his arm around my waist and resting his head on my shoulder.

"Citizenship?" he frowned.

"If you knew about it, why didn't you say anything?"

"Because it occurred to me like two days ago and with Mrs. Knight´s funeral and the hospital I forgot to tell you" I sighed turning to look at him "It is really hard to get"

"I won´t leave before I´ve tried"

"Then good thing that I have a little crush with history" I grinned "I will help you with everything I can" I gave him an Eskimo kiss "Come on, let´s shower"

"No" he whined pulling the covers on top of him. I grinned asking myself how could a grown man be this adorable when he acted like a five year old "Come on" I began poking his ribs causing him to giggle.

"Okay, okay…on one condition" he got rid of the covers prior pulling me to land on top of him "You stay here and help me tell my mom about the citizenship" I gaped at him.

"You want me to meet your mom?"

"Yeah I mean…she´s curious about you" he said sheepishly.

"You have talked to your mom about us?" I moved until I was sitting on his stomach so I could look at him better.

"Yes…you haven't told yours?" I grimaced.

"I have mentioned it, but…we haven't really decided what we are and it´s kind of hard to explain that to you mom and…"

"I told mine that you were my boyfriend"

Kendall PoV

_Thirteen years ago…_

_I pushed my hands on my ears trying to stiffen the sounds coming from the guest room. I could only hope that my mother stayed with her friend a little longer, she had been sick and something like this could only be bad for her._

_A shiver ran down my spine when I heard a pair of footsteps come near. My breath hitched, no one could hear him, no one could know._

"_Who is it?" I asked walking away from the door seeing the housekeeper´s son come into view._

"_H-hi" he said looking down just as I heard a pained groan from the inside. I winced before I laid eyes on Jimmy. I had to make him go away._

"_Why are you here? The service shouldn't go around as they please" I tried not to look much at the door "Go away"_

"_B-but my granny…" he took a step back._

"_I don't care what your granny said. Get the fuck away from here! You stupid fat looser! Y-you have to go!" I was trembling. He was going to be done soon and he would kill me if he saw Jimmy "Are you deaf? Leave! I can´t stand the sight of you! You´re disgusting!" he finally started to walk back but I couldn't stop, it was like I had opened a door that it shouldn´t be opened "Go cry to your granny! She will be dead soon anyway! Free of you!" he was running down the stairs when I heard the door behind me open. I turned to see my father and another two men walking out. My father stood in front of me grasping my hair forcefully making me look at him._

"_What the fuck was that? You better hope no one knows about this or I will kill you, you heard me?" he spat as I willed the urge to cry away "Don´t you dare cry!" I clenched my fists keeping my gaze on him "Leave" he pushed me back and I stumbled before running to my room feeling my whole body tremble._

I was eight when I found out that bullying Jimmy kept everything else away.

Once it began, I couldn't stop. At first, it had just been when my father was around; using that as an excuse to torment him, but later it was just for the sake of it, because it felt good to make someone as miserable as I was.

_Jimmy and James were the same person._

"Someone really loves to fuck with me" I said out loud. I was in our bedroom after spending most of the day sleeping away my emotional exhaustion. After seeing that photo I had felt like my world had frozen in a very unhappy place. All of those times that I had asked him why he hated me trying to make sense of his behavior, now I understood why. Now I had a really hard time believing that he loved me.

How could we go on if every time I saw him I could now see his lightless eyes, his hunched shoulders and that huge aura of misery that had always followed Jimmy around? I knew what had been of his home life and knowing that I had made his existence a complete hell was going to make me crazy.

How could he try to be happy living with a monster like me?

I hugged myself when I heard the Lamborghini´s engine roar hoping for the constant beating of my heart to stop. How could I be excited to see him if I had just saw him hours ago? How could I hope to see him and be good, knowing that I had ruined his childhood?

"You really should stop with the pity party and start making your bags" I turned to look at him completely confused.

"Where are we going?" I sat on the edge of the bed.

"What? No complaining?" he tried to joke but I could see that he was actually pretty nervous…that was new. I shrugged as an answer seeing him walk until he sat beside me and took my hand "We didn't have a honey moon and I´m determined for this" he pointed at both of them "Works, and for that we have to be clear with one another, so I´m taking you to the beach house for as long it takes"

"For as long it takes…what?"

"You telling me _everything_ and accepting that you´re in love with me and that you want this marriage to be real" I swallowed stunned.

"And the office?"

"Already taken care" he smiled.

"Your grandfather?"

"He can´t tell me what to do" I was witness of the slight falter in his smile and how his eyes were losing their shine "Please…"

"Okay…deal" I fisted my hands.

"Deal about what? About going to the house or telling me everything" he took my hand making me look at him.

That was all I needed to be sure.

"Both"

**Next chapter! Kendall finally tells his story and smut! Oh yes! It will be a long one!**

**Now I´m a shrimp and my back hurts so I´m not sure about this chapter, remember the true discussion hasn't happened yet! And also haha how about that sexy Kames Kiss? I love jealous possessive Kendall and no worries, I will explain why he reacted like that out of the blue xD**

**And Cargan? Some cute lovemaking for them before meeting the in-laws! Oh yes that will be fun!**

**Thanks for all your reviews! You people are amazing!**

**Take care!**


	25. Chapter 24

**I sure hope FF doesn't delete this for this chapter ;) This goes for you Sum1cooler!**

**Enjoy!**

CHAPTER 24

Carlos PoV

Logan blinked at me. He was giving me the deer in headlights look and I felt like somebody had kicked me in the balls.

"I shouldn't have done that, right?" I mumbled looking away feeling my cheeks burn. I had been the one to tell him that there couldn't be a relationship between us and there I was, calling him my boyfriend "I'm such an idiot, I'm sorry…y-you don't have to meet her, I-I'll tell her the truth"

"Carlos, look at me" I swallowed before turning my eyes, he had his thinking face on "I didn't want to tell my mom about you" I felt a pinch in my chest "Nor I wanted to call you my boyfriend because…" he sighed looking down and I could almost hear his next words: _This was just a flink_, _I'm a doctor so I don't have labor boys as boyfriends_, _I don't think you're_… "Because I…God, why is this so hard to say!" he slumped on my chest hiding his face on the crook of my neck. I wanted to tell him that I got it, that he didn't need to be nice to me, that I was leaving anyways but a huge lump in my throat prevented me for it. I had always thought that my crush on him would be over in time that I was just awed by him but the longer I was with him, the bigger that crush became, so big in fact that calling it_ crush_…didn't cut it anymore. "I don't love you" I literally winced when he said that and he must've felt it because not two seconds later he was making me look at him with a panicked look in his face "No, No! I didn't mean it like that! W-well I actually did but not…Fuck!" he slapped himself in the face.

"Want me cut it short and just accept that this is just for sex?" I whispered actually surprised with how even my voice sounded.

"NO!" It was my turn to look baffled.

"They what are you talking about?"

"I don't love you but I want to!" I gaped at him "Yes! I-I mean we hardly know each other but I do want to be your boyfriend and I'm so honored that you told your mother about me, I know how close latin families are…w-what I mean is that you surprised me, you really did" he smiled prior ducking his face to kiss me "But it was a good surprise, a really fucking nice one" I mirrored his smile taking his lips to mine once again.

"But why didn't you tell your mom about us?" he grimaced.

"One of the reasons I bonded with James in college was that we had one big thing in common: Our mother's are…difficult" he moved until he was laying next to me looking up "Ever since my dad died she became…close minded. She wanted me to have the 2.5 kids with a lovely wife, the white picket fence and the dog. The American dream" he bit his lip "Over the years I focused on studying to get just that and make her happy, she had suffered so much working her ass off to pay college –even if I got a full ride I still needed books and stuff like that- so it didn't hurt me to miss one or two parties in order to make our dream come true" I turned not taking my eyes from him, this was the first time that we spoke about stuff like this "She doesn't even know I'm bi" he winced "I don't think she would take it well...she still hopes for me to look for Camille and, I quote, _work things out_" he grimaced and fake shuddered "Like I will _ever _be close to that bitch again"

"I thought you and your mom got along" I took his hand with mine beginning to play with his fingers.

"We do…when we talk about the hospital, science and nerdy stuff like that, but not my life" he shrugged "I can live with her bitching about James, he can take it and he doesn't care…but I wont stand for her to whine about you, that's a fight we're not ready to have yet"

"You don't think I can take it?" I asked absolutely not looking like a teenager saying that he was mature enough.

"I know you can, but I can't not with you" he turned to look at me tracing my eyebrows and nose with his fingertips "Let's go shower and then we'll call your mom" we got up and walked to the bathroom.

Having heard his side of things made me feel like I had lost some sort of weigh around my chest, things felt more real and I now I could hope for more. I could hope for my citizenship, for being able to visit my family anytime, for having the chance to know Logan…and like he said, to love him eventually.

"I like this idea" I said once he stood under the water stream letting it soak his creamy body. I licked my lips feeling my dick stir "And the view"

"Not a good idea, we're doing this together to be practical"

"I can't be practical with you naked in front of me" I took a step forwards but he stopped me putting his hand in front of me.

"I unleashed a monster" he rolled his eyes "No wonder you and James are such good friends, you both love sex way too much"

"But sex is good" I pointed out "If I was alone in an island and I could have anything I wanted I would ask for you, a ring and a rollercoaster"

"Why would you want a rollercoaster?" he began washing his hair.

"Because it's awesome, duh" I raised my shoulders fully knowing that it was the most logical answer of all.

"That's stupid, you should think about asking for food or shelter" he frowned moving so I could start cleaning myself.

"Those are boring!"

"Those are necessary!"

"They are stupid and boring" I said matter-of-factly watching him put his hands on his hips.

"And how do you plan to live?"

"I already know how" I spoke smugly pulling him close to me so I could whisper to his ear "Don't forget the ring"

"Why do you need a ring?" his hands moved to my shoulders.

"Not just any ring, a big ring" I took his earlobe between my lips sucking it lightly.

"Where will you put it?"

"In a very special place" I lowered my hand letting my finger trail through his awakening dick "I'm sure I wouldn't die if I was buried inside of you 24/7…and I've read somewhere that having a ring wont let you come until I say so" he moaned as I felt his hips move to meet mine "That way when I'm hungry I could eat your cum and I could give you mine when you are"

"Holy shit how do you come up with this stuff?" he breathed rubbing his hardness against my own.

"I just think of all the things I wanted to do to you…it's natural" I took his shoulders and pushed him away from me before turning him around and pushing him to the wall "Like right now I want to fuck you right here…saw it somewhere and I haven't been able to get it out of my head ever since" he moaned ducking his head under the stream and opening his legs wide.

I bit my lip trailing my eyes all over him before getting on my knees and grasping his ass with my hands.

Logan PoV

I gasped feeling his hands spread my cheeks as I felt my dick jump fully knowing what he was about to do and still not believing it.

The innocent Mexican boy was long gone for now.

"Carlos!" I gaped trying to get air inside my lungs as his wet tongue touched my skin. That was completely unsanitary, gross and wrong.

But it fucking felt like heaven.

I rested my forehead on the tiles already a moaning mess with every lick. He continued opening me using his tongue for a while, and just as I began to feel my abs to contract I felt the first finger move inside of me, then a second and a third.

The moment one of them brushed my prostate I came all over the wall.

"You okay" I felt his arm around my waist keeping me standing as his face nuzzled the back of my neck.

"Yes…" I turned to kiss him sensing his aroused cock moving between my cheeks "Fuck me, make me cum again" he groaned as the only warning before pushing inside of me. It stung a little but before I could even process having him inside of me, he was gone.

Then all the way in

And out

In

Out

Full

Empty

"More…more" I whimper completely hard again eager for more of that wonderful dick of his. He fucked me harder every time, fulfilling my need until I was climaxing again just after I felt his hot seed shoot inside of me. This time the orgasm left me boneless and sated, needing nothing more than to sleep for eternity.

And I did just that, letting blankness overtake me going limp between his arms.

Logan

Logan

Logan

"Logan!" I groaned willing that annoying voice to go away "LOGAN!" the yell came before a hard stinging sensation in my cheek.

"Ow!" I whined opening my eyes startled only seeing Kendall's laughing eyes looking back at me.

What the…?

"Welcome to the land of the living" he grinned just as I heard the unmistakable laugh of my best friend. Slowly I turned my head around only to see James laughing hysterically near the doorway and a very red Carlos sitting next to me on the bed.

"W-what happened?" at this Kendall began laughing too and Carlos turned even redder moving his gaze away.

"Oh God, this is too good" said James between laughs "And here I was thinking that I was the master, Carlos you have to give me tips dude"

"It's not funny!" snapped Carlos glaring at the laughing couple.

Completely bewildered by their reactions I tried to search my memory for the reason of me having lost conscience…until I remembered the last thing we had been doing before I woke up.

"And he remembered!" yelled Kendall looking at me.

"H-how did you know?" I blinked at him.

"You just turned a nice shade of red my friend" he winked prior getting into yet another laughing contest with his husband.

"I-I'm s-sorry Logie! I-I never…I should've known…I-I…" began Carlos taking my hand "I was so scared when you didn't wake up! So I called them…" he explained sheepishly as another round of laughs erupted from the newlyweds.

"Oh shit my stomach hurts!" I heard James say "Man, what did you do to him?"

"None of your business" I answered him before I turned to look at Carlos happily feeling a pair a boxers on me "It's okay Carlos…I kind of asked for it" at this he grinned prior kissing me lightly.

"You're okay, really?" he asked leaving his forehead against mine.

"Hundred percent, I'm a doctor, right?" he nodded once before turning to the other two who were now starting to sober up and out of nowhere a huge wake of awkwardness covered them. I rolled my eyes; those two couldn't live without the drama "I'm okay guys, thanks for coming"

"No problem man, you know that…both of you, I will _always _be there for you" for some reason I felt like those last words weren't exactly meant for us. And the fact that Kendall took a step away confirmed my assumption "But I will use this moment to give you some news"

"What?" Asked Carlos.

"We'll be going to the beach house a couple of days" he grinned tensely "Our delayed honeymoon"

"Good for you. I mean it" I looked at them "We all know how much you need to work things out. Be careful and don't do anything I wouldn't do" at this both of them raised their eyebrows barely keeping their smiles away "Yeah, yeah, that too" I rolled my eyes glad for the lighter atmosphere.

"Be sure to go on dates" grinned Carlos making them blush.

"Yeah" Kendall sounded his throat "I'll still be going to the hockey rink because I can't miss it any longer if you want to hang for a while…" he eyed James "I have no idea how long he plans to have me there"

"As long as it takes" James smiled "See ya, we'll be packing and we'll know when we leave" said this he took Kendall's hand and walked outside the room.

"Want to take a shower?" I raised my eyebrows at Carlos's words "Not like that!" he chuckled taking my hand "I already showered"

"How long was I out?" I frowned.

"About half an hour, Kendall has a lot of experience with his mom so he stayed with you while I cleaned myself…and the shower" we smiled at each other before I pecked his lips "Okay…do you mind helping me get inside? I'm kind of sore"

Kendall PoV

"I can't believe that Logan fainted because of sex! We have barely had sex twice and they are already in the kinky stuff!" I rolled my eyes almost seeing James' pout as I heard him whining from his closet "That is just wrong" I bit my lip…yeah I kind of felt the same but the truth was that we had a fucking lot of problems to solve before thinking about kinky sex.

Like the fact that I was the reason behind James' shitty childhood.

"Stop thinking about it" I jumped when his voice sounded just beside me.

"I wasn't thinking about anything" I busied myself in folding my clothes inside my bag.

"Yeah you were"

"No I wasn't" I spat grasping a shirt between my hands.

"Yes, you were"

"And what if I was?" I yelled turning to look at him "In what else am I supposed to think? Why aren't _you_ thinking about it?"

"Because I already thought about it and I decided that I don't care" I shook my head.

"How can you not care? How can you not demand an explanation or something?"

"I already tried to hate you long enough" he shrugged before pressing his lips "Why aren't you mad at me?"

"What?" I looked at him like he was crazy.

"I hid this from you, I made this job awful for you…I practically raped you because of it" he passed his hand through his face "I think we will be talking about this here…that night when I saw you stealing…I knew, I fucking knew that something was very wrong but I did not care, all I wanted was for you to pay, to feel ashamed of what you were just like you made me feel all those years ago" I swallowed suddenly feeling my throat dry and my heart contracted at his words remembering that awful night "And even when you asked me why…even if" he looked down as his expression turned into a regretful one "Even if I saw in your eyes how much you didn't need that…I couldn't tell you the truth because I knew that you didn't deserve that…"

"But I did…I do deserve it" I whispered also keeping my gaze away "Because I loved it. Watching your eyes full of tears, hearing the other kids cheer for me every single time…it was the highlight of my day" I closed my eyes feeling a couple of tears escape my lashes and his fingers cleaning them "How can you stand being near me?" I whispered "I don't care that you didn't told me…frankly I'm happy that you didn't tell me until now" my breath hitched.

"Why?" I could've played fool and asked him what was he asking about, but I was tired of dodging his questions and keeping it all to myself. Besides the least I owed him was an explanation.

"Because my father was a whore that hated me and loved to show me how much every time he could"

**Someone said that I was a complete tease…I think I am LOL :)**

**Oh well I wanted to write an extra long chapter but I think it's better that way, so we can focus on the important stuff and my dad can stop nagging me to turn off the damn computer hahaha**

**Sooooo how about that steamy Cargan scene? Heheee I want your thoughts about that and Logan's mom! She will be interesting :D**

**Liked it? Hated it? Loved it? Review?**

**Take care my fellow rushers!**


	26. Chapter 25

**Remember **_Italics_** are for people speaking in Spanish and normal for English xD**

**Enjoy!**

CHAPTER 25

Carlos PoV

I grinned when my mother came to view.

"_Hi Mom! How are things back home?_" I told her noticing how her eyebrow had traveled all the way up at the sight of a nervous Logan, whom was sitting beside me.

"_Really good son, who´s your friend?_" I rolled my eyes. Way to be subtle mom.

"Mom, this is Logan, Logan this is my mom" I grinned at my boyfriend as he turned red as a cherry.

"H-hola seniora García. Un placero to conocerla" he said and I thought my cheeks were going to split after hearing him try to speak Spanish.

Cutest thing _ever_.

"I can understand English just fine _mijo_ and the pleasure is mine" she smiled and I could breathe a little better watching her eyes warming up "So…is he your…special friend?" before I was able to open my mouth and speak we heard a commotion coming from her side of the camera until my big brother practically leaped next to her.

Not good, not good at all.

"_Did she just say special friend? Is that your BOYFRIEND?_" I gulped knowing that if he was there it meant that we had most probably stumbled into a family reunion.

Oh shit.

"Logan, this is my oldest brother David, David this is Logan" I turned to Logan trying to tell him through my eyes how sorry I was for what was to come "…my boyfriend" and again, before Logan could speak we heard yells and screams coming from the computer as my whole family crowded the screen.

"_What did we just hear?_"

"_Are you fucking kidding me?_"

"_Let me see!_"

"_He´s cute!_"

"_Carlitos you stud!_"

I snaked my hand to take Logan´s seeing him take a panicky expression. He turned to me grasping our hands and giving me a small smile while we waited for my mom to shut everyone up.

"I see that you´re having a family reunion" I commented in English to let them know that I wanted Logan to understand, so they would have to speak the language.

"Yeah, mom made _gorditas_ and we were hoping you would call Carlitos" grinned my sister.

"Good, okay Logan these are my siblings: David, María and Jimmy"

"Hi, we´ve heard so much about you, Carlos is always ´Logie this and Logie that´" said David making me blush "Can we call you Logie or you just let him call you that?"

"Hello" Logan sounded his throat as I prayed for earth to swallow me because that was a pet name that I secretly had for him "And well…I don't mind but it´s kind of a Carlos thing" I turned to look at him as he gave me a huge smile.

And the ´aww ´chorus began.

"_They look so adorable!_"

"_Another one lost for the ladies! Why are all the cute guys gay?_"

"_He even blushes more than you Carlitos!_"

"Shut up! Oh yes, these are my cousins Mary, Fanny and Karla" Logan waved at the screen looking uncomfortable under sudden glares he was now receiving.

"_Tell him that if he hurts you I will kill him_" I rolled my eyes at Karla´s words "_Tell him!_"

Logan PoV

"What is she saying?" I asked trying hard not to gulp getting more than slightly intimidated by his cousins. The black eyes seemed to run in the family and thanks to them I was now sure of how intimidating they could be.

"The hurt him and you´ll die speech" he sighed glaring back at her cousin and saying something in Spanish in return which she answered by sticking out her tongue.

"So…have you guys had sex yet?" I gaped hearing one of them –Fanny if I remembered correctly- ask us.

"FANNY!" They chorused as they proceeded to attack her with cushions. After they settled she mumbled something in Spanish making them giggle and just now I was starting to regret letting Spanish outside my classes in favor of taking applied math.

Who would´ve thought that I would end up with a sexy latino?

"I won´t answer that" and just then all of the family turned their attention to Carlos looking at him with widened eyes.

Oh Oh.

"Oh! My baby boy it´s now a man!" I felt like I was going to be sick and I didn't even need to understand their next yells because Carlos´ pained face and reddish shade of skin told me everything I needed to know.

"Hey! Hey! Settle down! We don't need to scare him!" began David and I instantly liked him "But I need to ask…who rides?"

_Like_ was a strong word with this one.

"Guys! Come on!" whined Carlos covering his face.

"What? Those are perfectly legit questions" said Fanny making them laugh "And Logan, don't be shy! What can you tell us about yourself?"

"M-me?" I winced hating how that had sounded "I´m a doctor, a surgeon actually" I waited for them to translate my words "I´m 25…" someone yelled something and Carlos just rolled his eyes amused and answered them.

"Tell you later" he smiled when I raised an eyebrow at him.

"What else?" asked Mrs. Garcia

"What else do you want to know?" I raised my shoulders.

"How long has it been since your last relationship?" voiced Fanny after hearing Mary ask something and Carlos began scolding them.

"I was engaged…" I began not wanting to start with lies. Carlos pressed his lips together not moving his hand from mine "About three months ago"

And the Death Silence crashed down.

Fuck.

I bit my lip when they began speaking in Spanish between themselves and their whole demeanor changing in an instant. Carlos grimaced hearing their words and I knew that it was nothing good when he tried to talk to them and they began bombarding him with questions.

"Time to go! Bye!" suddenly Carlos closed the laptop before pressing the heels of his hands to his eyes "That went…"

"Awful" I provided grimacing "They obviously think I´m seeing you as a rebound and taking advantage of you" I hated how my chest felt heavy knowing that they didn't approve.

"Kind of…yeah" sighed Carlos before pulling me to him letting my back rest against his chest "I´ll talk to them and explain about Camille…but other than that they liked you" he chuckled.

"How can you say that?"

"Well for starters you looked shy but not completely freaked out about their words"

"I didn't understand most of them" I pointed out "What did they say about my age?"

"_Asalta cunas_…crib burglar, that´s what we call people that are older than their partners" he shrugged "They also said that I have ´that after sex glow´ man I hate it that even being this far apart they can read me so well"

"I bet it´s interesting to have such a big family" he shrugged.

"Not like I´ve had much experience either, but we´ve had long chats like this every now and then and I remember what was to play with 25 cousins…ah good times" I chuckled "They also don't think I top" even without looking I could hear the smugness in his voice.

"Yeah they don't know that the bunny turns into a tiger as soon as he sees my ass" he chuckled before letting a small trail of kisses on my neck "What did they tell you when I spoke of my engagement?" I took his hand not daring to look at him.

"They asked me if I was sure, they just don't want me to get hurt"

"Well then, we´ll just have to talk more to them so they can get to know me and be sure that I won´t ever hurt you" I spoke moving to give him a light kiss "I guess it´s time to get some sleep, you killed me today and I have work tomorrow" I moved under the covers of his bed not missing his beaming expression, it was the first time we slept in the same bed. I felt him move up to leave the computer somewhere else and then a pair of strong arms snaked to hold me.

And just as I was getting comfortable thinking that being spooned had never felt this good, he said something that made my heart give a leap.

"I think I´m in love with you"

Kendall PoV

My hands are searching for you  
>My arms are outstretched towards you<br>I feel you on my fingertips  
>My tongue dances behind my lips for you<p>

This fire rising through my being  
>Burning I'm not used to seeing you<p>

I'm alive, I'm alive

I watched the city pass by feeling detached and, curiously, calm. After everything I was going to tell somebody about my life and even if he had kind of figures out what had been going on for me, I felt like it was right to speak about it, that it was the right moment at last.

James was silently driving beside me. I turned to look at him, his eyes were a stormy brown; they had been like that since I told him _why_…

"_What do you mean when you say _whore_?" he frowned clearly not buying my words. I turned my eyes away, of course nobody could ever think of the kind of shit-bag that my father had really been._

"_What you heard…he was a whore and he hated me" I saw his eyes clear up as he grasped my words but before we could continue we heard someone knocking._

"_James!" it was his grandmother._

_Perfect._

"_I´m busy! Go away!" he yelled clearly mad at her intrusion. I just thought that I now understood why he wanted us to go to the beach house to talk._

"_Brooke called, she´ll be here tomorrow" James swore passing his hand through his hair._

"_Thanks" he said looking at the door before sighing "One thing we have in common is that we both hate my step mother" he explained giving me a pained smile._

"_I can wait" I shrugged looking at my bag knowing that he needed to stay home to keep order._

"_One hour" I raised an eyebrow at his words and turned to look at his stern eyes "I´m going on my honey moon even if have to sneak out, you are what´s important not Brook" said this he turned back to his closet to finish packing "And I expect to hear everything Kendall, you won´t dodge me again" I suppressed a shudder._

_He was right, no more dodging._

I can feel you all around me  
>Thickening the air I'm breathing<br>Holding on to what I'm feeling  
>Savoring this heart that's healing<p>

And that was exactly what we had done. With the help of Katie we had snuck out of the house and we were now on our way to James´ beach house, the only place no one would bother us according to him.

"I´ve never been in this part of the beach before" I spoke seeing a fairly inhabited shore.

"It´s private…about a year ago I fooled around with a guy…let´s just say that he was married to a complete bitch and she kind of got us in the tabloids for weeks…"

"I have no idea what you´re talking about" I shrugged "I have no idea of what´s going on with celebs and gossip and all that shit"

"Good for you" he gave a dry chuckle "Anyway, I bought this place to escape the paparazzi…you are the first person besides me to visit my beach house" he moved to take my hand while my chest warmed all over. At least I had this after sleeping in the same bed where all those whores had gone to.

"Thanks" I whispered looking away feeling my cheeks burn.

My hands float up above me,  
>And you whisper you love me.<br>And I begin to fade,  
>Into our secret place<p>

"We´re here" I looked around expecting to see a huge mansion but instead I found a small cabin. It probably had two or three rooms and it looked fairly _ordinary_ "What?" he grinned looking at me after he parked the car.

"It looks…not what I thought it would look" at this he let out a laugh.

"I´m sorry to disappoint" he shrugged "Come on, let´s see if the inside it´s more of your likeness" he winked at me before getting out and walking to get the bags from the backseat.

"I thought that you had this _huge_ mansion or something" I explained as I followed him.

"I wanted to, but then I thought about it and having something looking like this was more likely to protect me from paparazzi than a mansion…besides, not everything is what it looks like" he gave me another wink prior taking my hand and leading me to the entrance.

Once we got inside I understood what he meant. It was cozy, spacious and in no way ordinary, it was beautiful and I could really see myself expending day after day in there…and then he pushed one button and the whole front wall freaking _moved_ revealing the most amazing terrace I had ever seen. It was like an expansion of the living room but with the sea around it simply looking fucking awesome.

"Damn" I let out a breathless chuckle "I´m definitely taking this from you in the divorce" Yeah…I could blame those words on the fact that the place was just too great that it had fucked my brain, but really I was kind of trying to joke there "That was a joke" I said as soon as I saw his pained expression.

"I wish I could believe you" he smiled sadly and I felt my heart break seeing his hurt eyes avoid mine.

The music makes me sway  
>The angels singing say we are alone with you<br>I am alone and they are too with you

I'm alive  
>I'm alive<p>

"Come on, let me show you around" I followed him giving me a mental slap for being such an ass "Well you can see that this is the kitchen and living room, the terrace...outside the terrace we have a Jacuzzi"

"I can see fun times in that area" I said fully intending to get him out of that shell but he just shrugged and walked to a door to the right.

My first innuendo in our relationship and he was too mad to keep the joke…now I hated myself a little more.

"Here we have the master bedroom" he explained walking down the stairs. I raised my eyebrows seeing a small wooden desk, a comfy looking couch and a huge bed facing a crystal wall that led right to the creamy sand…again it was safe to think that I was in love with this house.

"I have to say, this is really beautiful" I spoke seeing the wooden decorations around the headboard and furniture.

"Yeah well I have good taste" he shrugged again before moving to another door revealing the closet "We´ll unpack later" he said leaving the bags inside "Come on, let´s take a walk" he said taking away his shoes. I grimaced while taking off mine and following him as I began to feel the apprehension inside my chest. I didn't want to have this conversation but I knew that it had to be done.

"Do you remember that first day? The first time I yelled at you" I said putting my hands on my pants as we started walking.

"Not really" he frowned "I just remember that one day you were…if not nice, at least civil to me and they it all went to the dump for no reason at all" I pressed my lips listening to the waves trying to calm my nerves, talking about this was harder than I had thought.

"Well I do have a reason, a good one…at least for that time" I breathed "Two days before I went back home early from hockey practice because the couch needed to leave soon…I didn't tell my parents because one of the guys lived nearby and he told me he could take me home…"

"Dak"

"What?" I blinked not having any idea what he had just said.

"Dak, your best friend, he lived next to you" I raised my eyebrows.

"Well I didn't remember his name but okay, it´s kind of creepy that you remember though" again he shrugged off my lame attempt to lighten the atmosphere; seriously he was killing me here "Anyhow, I was inside the house when I wasn't supposed to and…I heard noises inside one of the guest rooms…I-I…" I stopped walking when a shudder crawled in my skin at the memories "I-I opened the door and found my dad sucking some bastards dick" I laughed dryly feeling the familiar wave of nausea hit my body. James was frozen beside me with his eyes like plates.

"That´s why you don't like blow jobs" he whispered passing a hand through his face.

"No…I do like BJ´s…in theory" I scratched the back of my head "I´ve never managed to give or receive one without remembering _him_ and well…losing the moment"

"So your father was gay…" I chuckled.

"No" I shook my head not losing the sardonic smile "That´s why he became even more unhappy and started bringing whores around not even caring about my mom…the minute he found out that I had seen him he…started to take his frustrations on me" I continued walking being unable to stand still when I was speaking about this "He hit me a couple of times but because I played hockey I was able to convince my mom that my injuries were because of that…"

"Why did you defend him?" James spat angrily.

"Because my mom was beginning to get sick" I hugged myself "She blamed stress and shit like that, but somehow I knew that it was the start of something horrible…I hate that I was right" at this we both kept quiet for a while, speaking about my mother was still too hard to do it so lightly.

"What happened that first day?" he asked after a while of gazing at the waves.

So I cry  
>(Holy)<br>The light is white  
>(Holy)<br>And I see you

I'm alive  
>I'm alive<br>I'm alive

And I can feel you all around me  
>Thickening the air I'm breathing<br>Holding on to what I'm feeling  
>Savoring this heart that's healing<p>

"My dad was in the guest room and he had ordered me to keep everyone away and you just happened to walk up the stairs…I was terrified of you knowing how fucked up my family really was, that you would take pity of me. You were the poor fat kid, the biggest looser and all, but even like that I still saw you smile with your grandma, I saw you hang around with the staff having fun…I hated you because you seemed more happy having nothing than I had ever been even if I had it all"

"I had a huge crush on you" he said softly.

"I knew that" I sighed looking away "I remember giving you hell for it a couple of times"

"Some things never change" I turned to look at him. He was gazing at the see with an unreadable expression "What happened later?"

"The people my dad was giving…_favors_…were not of the good kind, he owed them money and everything went down the drain. I´m sure my mom told you this" he nodded "Well everything was fine, the bastard died and me and my mom were okay, I was beginning to be happy. I was in the hockey team, I got along with my teammates and my mom seemed healthy. Little I knew that those bastards were only waiting for me to grow up to start charging"

"They sent Jett" I stopped dry. It was not a question, it was an affirmation.

"How can you know about him?" I narrowed my eyes at him.

"Your mom told me" he shrugged so nonchalantly that if I didn't know the truth I would´ve believed him.

"She didn't know about Jett" he winced before sighing.

"Okay, okay…the night I came back, after you fell asleep…he called and I answered"

"NO!" I yelled taking a step back looking around like he would suddenly appear claiming all of James´ money "Why did you do that? Are you insane?" my heart was beating like crazy, I felt nauseous and scared…he couldn't be taken away. He wouldn't be hurt because of me.

Take my hand  
>I give it to you<br>Now you own me  
>All I am<p>

"What? I can help you!" he stepped towards me but I kept avoiding him "What´s the problem?"

"You are! You fucking are the problem! Why the fuck did you have to do that?" I growled passing my hands harshly through my face trying to clear the tears away "I don't need your fucking help! I don't want it! I want to be away from you! Don't you get it?" If I had been in my right state of mind I would´ve noticed how the light disappeared from his eyes and the way he looking away like I had slapped his face "You have to let me leave! Fucking let me go!"

"Why?" he grasped my shoulders making me look at him. His expression fierce "Why is it so horrible to stay with me? Why do you want to leave me?"

"This was never meant to be! This is a fake!" he shook his head clearly not wanting to hear my words.

"Do you love me?" my breath got caught up my throat. I shook my head feeling helpless. He would be a lot safer away from me.

"That doesn't change anything…why did you have to talk to him? You couldn't leave it alone! Leave me alone" I grasped his shirt "I can´t lose you, not you…I won´t allow it"

"Please answer me" I looked into his eyes. His gaze was vulnerable, stripped of any barriers leaving every emotion in the open. He looked pained, sad…scared. Suddenly, every time I had mercilessly turned him down came to my mind, each one of them he had put his feeling on a plate and I had stepped on them just because I was scared. He did not deserve that…I did not deserve him.

You said you would never leave me  
>I believe you<br>I believe

"I do" I whispered hugging him like our lives depended on it "I love you and that´s why I can´t lose you…this has to end" he didn't speak, he just embraced me like he knew that I needed him to keep me together.

We stood like that for what it felt like an eternity…until he decided to pick me up and throw me into the water.

"James!" I yelled as the cold water covered me.

"Now two things love" he spoke once I could stand up again, completely soaked "One: leave the innuendos to me, you suck at them and not in the fun way" I scowled at him "And second" he gave me a beaming smile "I fucking love you too much to let you go, so you, your pathological need to take care of everyone and your shitty problems stay with me until the end"

I could not argue with that, so I settled with soaking him to the bone smiling like I had never smiled before.

Maybe giving in wasn´t that bad after all.

I can feel you all around me  
>Thickening the air I'm breathing<br>Holding on to what I'm feeling  
>Savoring this heart that's healed<p>

**:D Now, let´s hear the love! (Only another two or three chapters more for this to end!)**

**P.D. Song used: All around me by Flyleaf, I just thought that it was the perfect song for Kendall.**


	27. Chapter 26

CHAPTER 26

Kendall PoV

I was pressed against the wall, eyes closed and receiving open mouthed kisses from my husband. I had never really liked them until now. I loved how his lips teased my own in every move, how his tongue sneaked outside to stroke my eager mouth and how his teeth managed to trap my lower lip before I could even process what he was doing; but most of all, I loved how he never let go of me, how his body was completely pressed to mine grasping my ass, like he despised the simple thought of letting air run between us.

"James…" I breathed moving my legs until they were circling his hips slowly rubbing my crotch to his. He sucked air as I let my hands tug his locks letting him lead the kiss.

"Look at me love" he whispered against my mouth. I blinked before searching for his eyes; they were shining, the green mixing with gold, and completely focused on me. I felt my breath hitch knowing that they had never looked more beautiful. I groaned pulling his face to mine desperately trying to let him know how absolutely ecstatic I was just for this moment "I don't think I´ll make it to the bed" I nodded thinking that it was all the way down the stairs and right now, the wall was the best fucking place in the world.

"Here then" I lowered my hands grasping the hem of his pants before fumbling to open them.

"Calm down" he chuckled closing his hands over mine "There´s no hurry" he purred moving a step back. I raised an eyebrow hating that little fascination he had with teasing me, well two could play that dominant game of his.

"Strip" I ordered crossing my arms. He blinked and raised his eyebrows.

"Excuse me?"

"I said, strip"

"Someone´s bossy" he put his hands on his hips.

"Your mistake was telling me that you´ll love me over anything I do…and trying to tease me _now_" I explained leaning on the wall like I didn't have a fucking uncomfortable erection pressing my pants "All the leverage you had over me is gone, now strip" I noticed how his eyes darkened, I had already perceived that it turned him on when I took over like this, but I had never had the will to push him being that I had no idea where we stood.

Now I did.

"You´re not the boss of me" he mumbled looking away clearly having an inner battle "I´m the dominant one in this relationship…I strip and next thing I know, you´ll be bending me over the table and…" he sounded his throat as I felt a shiver run down my spine "Fuck…"

Oh fucking yes, please!

"Don't give me ideas you´re not prepared for" I whispered looking at him right in the eye.

"So not fair" he groaned prior yanking away his shirt "Your turn"

"We´ll be taking turns then" I grinned letting him catch the real meaning of my words prior taking mine away suppressing a shudder…yeah I sure hoped that James was not prone to getting sick because being soaking wet in cold water inside an even colder house was not so smart.

"This is taking too long" He declared before launching at me and tripping me until I had my back against the floor and he was stranding me, making me completely forget about the rest of his clothes.

"I rather like the view" I bucked my hips making him moan "You…riding me" I grasped his legs keeping him in place as he moved meeting my thrusts.

"Keep dreaming" he grinned moving to kneel between my legs and started taking away my pants.

"One day you will be begging me to fuck you…you just wait and see" I raised my hips letting him undress me before he did the same.

James PoV

I moved forward kissing his thighs, chest and neck, leaving small bites along the way. He moaned closing his eyes and opening his legs a little wider. I groaned thinking that, him being so shamelessly sexy, was completely unfair; others looked slutty and cheap being this open and vocal, but Kendall simply looked beautiful, sexy and fucking _eatable_. I loved how he was keeping his barriers down, finally giving me a glimpse of the true Kendall, of that strong guy that lived underneath all that suffering.

"I love you" I whispered against his belly momentarily overwhelmed by the true meaning of his behavior. He didn't speak for a while; he just let his hand get inside my hair and his legs around me.

"I love you too" he murmured.

"Good to know" I suppressed a smile before nibbling his neck making sure to mark him as mine.

"I need you inside…now" he pulled me to meet his lips.

"We need lube" I told him hating myself for leaving the bags downstairs. He shook his head before taking my hand and letting his tongue dance through my fingers prior taking them inside his mouth.

Fuck, that shouldn't be such a turn on.

He continued licking them while his eyes never left mine. I moaned letting my hips buck down watching his eyes glow as his breathing picked up. I took my fingers out letting them trail down his body until I reached his entrance.

"Come on" he breathed but I kept my finger circling his hole teasingly as I occupied my mouth with his nipples "James…" he rocked his hips against my finger until he managed to get the tip inside.

"Patience" I grinned not in the least intimidated by the glare he shot me.

"Later" he shook his head before –in a totally lucky move- he managed to shove me back until our positions were reversed "Hey!"

"Stop whining" he said against my lips just before he gave me a light kiss "I´m not in the mood for waiting, I already did that for weeks" For a second I thought he would go down on me without prep but then, he push two fingers inside his mouth before moving them to his ass.

HOLY FUCK!

He moaned hard as he fucked himself, getting his body open for me…I was just gaping at him getting terribly hard and a little too close to the peek for my liking. Watching him do that was simply too much. I pressed my lips fisting my hands preventing them from touching myself fully knowing that I wouldn't hold on for long if I did that.

"James…what the fuck do you do to me?" his breathless call made me look at his face then back at his leaking member "I´m so close" I moaned moving to take his hand out of himself ignoring his complain before replacing it with my own "Yes…fuck yes" he moaned letting his face fall against my chest while I felt his hand starting to caress my dick.

"Touch me" I pleaded already sensing my insides clench. He pulled my hand away only to guide it to his own manhood as he began stroking mine. I lifted my hips meeting his hand already loosing myself in the sensations. I made an effort to keep looking at him wanting to memorize his expression: his flushed face and his glowing eyes framed by sweat coated hair making him the most gorgeous being I had ever seen. His lips kept chanting my name as his hips moved faster just before he exploded in my hand. I felt a shiver run all over my body when I saw him, only resulting in my own orgasm, which hit hard letting me see white as I hugged his body close to mine.

I let out harsh breaths as I waited for my heart rate to calm down when I felt him moving again. I blinked looking down at him only to see him sitting in my overly sensitive cock.

"Fuck! Kendall!" I yelled bending my spine overwhelmed by the sensations. It was kind of painful in a very pleasurable way, I had never done anything like this, I normally endured enough to just have one orgasm at the time not wanting to give much of myself…now, well, I kind of didn't have a choice. He hummed looking pleased as he gently rocked his hips from side to side at least giving me some time breathe "Someone´s horny today" I pushed once seeing him open his mouth in a silent cry.

"Very horny" he mumbled biting his lip while my trusts became more frequent "The though…of you" he grasped my knee looking at me "Loving me…being mine" his eyes darkened possessively "Makes this happen" he moved down to kiss me letting our tongues fight and explore the other. I continued fucking him in a slow rhythm sensing my cock ready for more. I grasped his ass just before I pushed him to the floor picking up the phase. I felt his nails dig inside my skin as he cried in pleasure pushing me deeper inside of him, telling me to go faster and faster until I couldn't take it any longer and climaxed for the second time mere seconds before him.

"Now I can´t move" I declared after a moment hearing him chuckle "Carry me to the bed, you have to act the part if you _ever_ want to fuck me"

"No…my back hurts" he mumbled making me frown before moving to look at him…he was already dozing.

"Hey, come on we have to get to bed"

"´M comfy here" he shrugged.

"Up" I slapped his butt getting a glare in return.

"My sore ass does not appreciate that"

"Well my sore body does not want to sleep on the floor, it would rather sleep with his husband in bed" I stood and raised my hand to him. He sighed taking it and walking with me to the stairs.

"I knew I didn't really have to carry you" he grinned smugly at me once we reached the lower level. I rolled my eyes chuckling before ducking my head and picking him up on my shoulder.

"James! Put me down!"

"Remember our wedding night dear?" I asked slapping his butt once again before throwing him to the bed "It was rather uneventful, so I will be getting my fun tonight and the rest of the week" I crawled to meet him.

"Can you let me sleep a little?" he raised his eyebrow.

"You didn't let _me_ rest…now shut up and let me ravish this hot little piece of ass you have my dear"

_The next morning…_

"I blame you" I mumbled hiding my face on my pillow.

"You were the one to push me in the water and then fucked me in the cold floor!" He grinned walking down the stairs. Who would have thought that I all needed to succumb to a cold was an afternoon playing in the water with Kendall? _Not cool!_

"It was to make you…" I coughed a couple of times "listen"

"Still, for those reasons I should be the one sick, you barely got wet and you were on top most of the time, away from the cold floor" he spoke as he sat in front of me.

"We were rolling, that makes us even" I pointed out already feeling the horrible tingle in my nose that came before a sneeze "This will not be as fun as I had planned thanks to…ACHOO!" I groaned covering my face after cleaning my nose.

"Well we could take it easy for now" he said with an easy smile "Now eat your soup" he moved to give me a small steaming bowl.

"Yes, mom" I rolled my eyes sitting up, taking the bowl and beginning to eat "Now that we _probably_ won´t be having sex for a while…"

"_Probably_? I won´t get sick because you want to fuck me, no sex until you´re better"

"…I think it´s time to get to know each other" I continued speaking like he hadn´t said a thing. I knew that the horny Kendall from last night wouldn't go for long without sex "I know that hockey is your favorite sport and I really don't know a thing about it, so what other sports you like?"

"Football" shrugged Kendall sitting in front of me with his legs crossed "I used to play but not as much as hockey"

"What team?" I let my eyes trail through his boxer clad body…a very nice view.

"Steelers" I tsked at him.

"Patriots" I pointed at myself.

"They suck!" he laughed "Wait…don´t tell me that you only cheer for them because Tom Brady is hot?"

"Of course" I grinned "He is incredibly hot, but right now I know that if he leaves I will still cheer for the team, so yeah…besides if I hadn´t seen him I wouldn't had tried to watch football at all"

"Why am I not surprised?" he mused and I just raised my shoulder loving the easy smile on his face "So…what kind of music do you like?"

"Pop, some hip hop, R&B…that kind of thing" I picked up the bowl and sobbed the last of the soup. Yeah fuck manners, I was sick "…you?" I asked once I was finish seeing his small smile as I placed the bowl on the night table.

"Cute" he pointed making me blush, it was weird how a simple word out of him could make me feel this good "I like rock, some pop…and country" he grinned.

"Giddy up cowboy" I managed to say before another coughing fit.

"I will hate you if you make me sick but I guess I will take pity on you" he rolled his eyes before moving to lie next to me letting me hug him and hide my face on the crook of his neck. I sighed happily at the fact that he had given in so easily. Snuggling was good for sick people after "Is this place safe if the sea level rises?" he asked watching the crystal wall in front of the bed with an unsure expression.

"I have no idea what kind of glass it is, but it´s the strongest one, I did thought of that when I had this made up" I explained "Besides, you slept in here and shouldn't you have been worried about that last night?"

"I will take your word for it and I had other things to attend to, last night" his hand began to caress my back making me shiver. I let out a very immature whine hating that moment "What?"

"Here we are" sniff "Half naked" sniff, cough "After a lot of fucking time and we can´t fuck…it´s not fair"

"Yeah well, it´s still your fault…maybe it´s your bad karma for making fun of Logan" he grinned.

"He had it coming…stop being so happy at my missery" I moaned making him chuckle.

"I´m happy because we´re finally –in some way- at peace and having time to set things right" I hummed in agreement hugging him closer and closing my eyes.

"Hey" I spoke after a while –where I might have or might not have dozed off a little-.

"Hey" he kissed my head.

"I heard that orgasms can help cure colds" I sighed feeling his smiling lips on my shoulder.

"Maybe, but at this rate you will be sleep before we even start" I mumbled agreeing with him letting my body relax against his.

"I love you" I whispered turning my head to kiss his jaw.

"And I you. I´m done pushing you away" he whispered pressing a small kiss to my lips "It felt so good to finally tell you how much you mean to me…I can´t back down on that, I can´t go back knowing that this is what I´m missing"

"That´s good" I whispered already fighting the urge to sleep some more.

"I love you James Diamond" I smiled hearing him and thinking that even if I was a sick mess, this was the happiest I had ever been "Even if you´re leaving all your mucus on my shoulder"

"Fuck you…now be a good pillow and shut up so I can sleep"

**Yeah…kind of out of inspiration here, it happens when a story it´s about to be done XD**

**What did you think of this? Did it suck? Should I hide somewhere? LOL**

**Review?**

**P.S. Ahh don't you just love my profile picture! Damn soo much Kames, and then James goes and kills a bee –with a freaking knife!- just because it was messing with HIS Kendall xD ohh yes, my Kames overreacted for that LOL**

**P.S.2. Monday back to school! I don't wanna! It will be my last semester o.o OMG I´m going to be an Engineer!**

**Take care!**


	28. Chapter 27

CHAPTER 27

Kendall PoV

I was shaking watching the three men around us. One of them was smiling, like he enjoyed killing so much that he was looking forward to putting a bullet across my chest; the next one had a bored expression, like he was used to this shit…and the third one.

Jett

Standing in the center of the alley, his gun up and looking at me in the eye. I had never thought that it would come to this; I had never even considered that he was the one to finish the job. He had always looked dangerous, but not to me, I had even thought that he kind of liked me enough to let me live.

How fucking wrong I was.

"H-he was nothing to do with this, Jett" I spoke stepping in front of James not daring to look at him. This was what I had been afraid all my life, putting someone in danger just because I let them too close.

"Stop!" yelled James moving beside me "I can pay you, all you want" at this the minions began to laugh.

"Sure thing pretty boy" snorted the smiling one giving him a complete look. James paled and I felt my blood boil.

"Enough" spoke Jett "Time to go to the next life Kenny" after he said this, everything went in slow motion. I heard two l loud BANGS and closed my eyes just before I felt a strong hand pushing me away...

NO!

**6 Hours Earlier**

James PoV

I rolled around the bed expecting to find the warm body of my husband ready to cuddle, but instead I found cold sheets. Groaning I opened my eyes and blinked a few times before turning to look for him, the room was empty but the door to the outside was open.

"Can´t you just sleep late for once?" I asked to the air before moving out of the bed, putting on my pajama pants and walking out. He was sitting on the sand with his legs crossed and on top of them he had his mother´s urn. I sighed feeling my heart clench, with everything that had been going on with us it was easy to forget about the huge gap Mrs. Knight had left inside of him. I made my way until I was standing behind him and sat down reaching for his body and embracing him strongly.

His cheeks were wet. His body trembling.

He moved until his back was resting on my chest with his eyes closed, probably mortified because I had caught him crying. I rolled my eyes, even after everything he hated looking weak. I kissed his temple before turning my gaze to the sea; it was pretty calm and relaxing.

"I was thinking…" he began after a while "She knew who you are, didn't she?"

"Yeah, she figured out right away" he grimaced.

"How is it that I couldn't? I mean now that I see you, I can see the resemblance, but before all of this I could have never thought that you and Jimmy were the same person" he grasped my hand.

"Because now you are looking for that resemblance…besides she found out because of that tree, it was just a matter of connecting the dots" I looked at the urn before letting my finger trail through it "I´m glad she knew, that way she had time to give me her approval" Kendall grinned.

"Yeah well, she didn't have all the facts" I snorted.

"She kind of did" I shrugged "Anyway, she helped me to finally crack you, so I´ll be eternally grateful" he glared at me.

"You make me sound so disturbed"

"You are disturbed love" he rolled his eyes "What are we doing today?"

"I was thinking about staying here and have tons of newlywed sex" he spoke raising his shoulders with a fake suffering sigh before regaining his solemn expression "But I think we should take her to the rocks first"

"Does that mean that you will take her to the place where she met your father?" I saw his gaze darkened.

"Yes…even if I hate the bastard, she loved him"

"I´m not sure she did" he turned until he was facing me.

"Did she tell you anything?"

"Yeah, I´m pretty sure she only stayed married to him because of you, because she thought you didn't know" he let out a breath closing his eyes.

"Then why did she want me to take her there?" I raised my hand cupping his jaw.

"Because of you love" I kissed frowning forehead "You were her entire world and that place was where she met the man that made you possible, I can assure you that the reason why she wanted to rest there was because of you, not your father" he looked down at the urn letting his fingers caress it.

"You might be right" he mumbled "Come on, I made breakfast" he smiled getting up "We need to eat because I need to go to the hockey rink at five"

"Why?" I certainly did not whine.

"Because I _need_ something to do, I can´t stay home forever…I refuse to even seem like a trophy wife" he spat scowling.

"You´ll have to be a slut for that and we both know that you´re not" I said getting up and following him "I might as well go and see you, get all those hormonal teens out of the way before they get into the sexy assistant coach"

"They are not into me" he rolled his eyes "I have no idea what you see in me, but I´m certainly not the sexy coach" we got inside the house and began climbing up the stairs as I gaped at him.

"NOT sexy! Kendall, are you fucking blind?" he shook his head amused.

"I know I´m not ugly…but I´m nothing special either" he shrugged and I just had the urge to slap him.

"You´re serious!" I ran to get in front of him seeing that he was frowning at me but other than that, he had no particular expression, like he was just stating the facts "Kendall, I´ve been gawking after you for a lot of time…even when I thought I hated you, I couldn't keep myself away! You are freaking HOT, you hear me? Capital letters and all"

"Love is blind, they say" he mumbled looking away as I saw an adorable blush covering his nose.

"I didn't love you at the beginning and you know that" I grasped his shoulders.

"You just wanted another fuck, another whore to your bed" I saw his little flinch when he spoke of the bed.

"What on earth do you have against my bed?" I frowned. He grimaced turning a darker shade of red while he busied himself in putting the urn in a safe place.

"You´ve taken a fucking lot of whores to it…I don't like to know that you´ve fucked with other people and much less sleep on the same bed where you did it" I widen my eyes.

"You should´ve said something!" It made sense now that I thought about it.

"Now I´m saying something: Change the bed" he shrugged before going to the kitchen "Pancakes?" He grinned raising the pan. I nodded sitting at the table seeing him cook with a long sigh.

"When did you learn how to cook?"

"When I was about fourteen" he raised his shoulders "Someone needed to feed us when mom got sick" he stopped moving for a second while before he took a long breath and continued cooking.

"I know it´s hard…"

"When I woke up…I wanted to run into the hospital and tell her" he sniffed without turning back to me "I miss her so much…I thought that I was prepared, she had been sick for years…but…" I stood up and waked to stand behind him.

"She was your mother, it would be weird if you didn't grieve her death" I whispered snaking my arms around him.

"Move" he took my arms and got free form my embrace "I refuse to cry and you´re not helping"

"There´s nothing wrong with crying" I frowned before moving a step back to rest my hip on the table.

"No, but I won´t be weeping around like a girl" he raised his shoulders before turning to put a nice smelling set of pancakes in front of me.

"You will make me fat again" I raised an eyebrow.

"I´ve seen what you eat, eating pancakes in your honeymoon won´t harm you" he chuckled "You can see Carlos, he eats like a bull and he´s still slim"

"Carlos does not have my metabolism" I spoke just for good measure taking the pancakes and the maple syrup.

"You were a kid and you weren't that fat" I raised an eyebrow.

"You traumatized me my whole childhood and now you say that I wasn't _that_ fat?" he flinched and for a second I felt kind of guilty about snapping like that, but really, had it really been all for nothing?

"Yeah…" he spoke weakly sitting in front of me "I already told you, you were there, you were an escape…" he passed his hand through his face "I´m sorry" he looked at me with his huge green eyes.

"It´s in the past" I took a bite "And this pancakes taste delicious, so yeah you´re forgiven" I grinned seeing a smile appear in his face "That´s better"

"I love you" he told me taking my hand.

"Ditto" I said with a mouthful of food.

"How romantic" he snorted shaking his head before he began to eat.

We finished eating in silence, just enjoying each other´s presence, finally without a false impression of our feelings. After we were done, we took a long shower together ending up back in our bed, getting to know each other´s bodies, finally having that intimacy that our relationship had been lacking since the beginning. I learned what made him gasp, what made him give out broken little moans…what made him scream my name in abandon s his body gave into me. I wanted to stay there with him, forever. With our legs tangled and our chest so close that I was able to feel his heartbeat.

"I want to go now" he whispered against my chest "I want to give her a proper goodbye"

"Okay" I kissed his forehead before we got up and began to change.

After we were ready, we got into the car and I drove to the cliff about an hour from the beach house, it was just besides a small dinner –where Mrs. Knight used to work according to Kendall-. The place was abandoned now, so it was a pretty secluded area. I parked and got out following my husband; he took my hand and led me to the cliff, where an amazing view greeted us. He took a breath before sitting at the edge crossing his legs and pulling me to sit next to him. His hands moved around the urn as while his eyes clouded.

"We´re here" he spoke looking at down "You always asked me not to bury you, you said that you had been trapped enough time, that you wanted to be free in this place" his hold grew stronger "I didn't want to do it, even if I promised you a thousand times that I would…I still can´t grasp the idea of you loving him, of seeing him in me and not hating me for that. You were an amazing woman, loving and wise in every breath…I´m glad you were my mom" he ducked his head to kiss the urn "I know you found out about the scholarship" I raised my eyebrow at this "And you thought I blamed you, I never did, I just thought that it was not meant to be…now I see that it was truth, now that I have hope, that I have a family, none of this would have been possible without you" ne turned his teary eyes to look at me "Or you" I moved to peck him in the lips.

"Always there for you" I whispered.

"She always liked you, when we were kids, she was the one that kept bugging me telling me that the maid´s son could be a great friend…sometimes I thought what would´ve happened if we had become friends"

"You would´ve friend-zoned me in an instant, that would´ve given me a lot of headaches" he chuckled.

Kendall PoV

"See? We got the big price with this one mom" I said getting a loud laugh out of James "Don't worry mom, I won´t let you go without a song, I know how much you love them…" I trailed my eyes to my side seeing my husband gaping at me.

"…you sing?" he asked.

"Yeah…" he groaned passing his hands through his face "What?"

"Really? I mean…God, you´re such a golden boy" he chuckled making me roll my eyes "What will you sing to her?"

"Some years ago I went to this Christian church…don't ask…and they were singing this beautiful song to a woman that had died. I asked and they taught it to me" I pressed my lips together looking down at the urn before starting to sing in a soft voice.

Fate - we say goodbye on this day  
>a Potter's field angel lay<br>The sunlight fills from your grace  
>and so much love gives this place the feel of warmth inside<br>I hear the words of your life  
>An angel gone... moved on<p>

It's a beautiful end to a beautiful life  
>A beautiful night to a beautiful day<br>It's a beautiful end to a beautiful life  
>A beautiful soul gone this day<p>

Flame - a candle burns in your stead  
>And roses line white and red<br>You rose up high above when  
>we felt a strength pass through us then<br>your body found your bones  
>but not the love of your soul<br>Your love goes on and on

It's a beautiful end to a beautiful life  
>A beautiful night to a beautiful day<br>It's a beautiful end to a beautiful life  
>A beautiful soul gone this day<p>

Surrender, rest here angel, rest  
>Make us strong and calm all the oceans<p>

It's a beautiful end to a beautiful life  
>A beautiful night to a beautiful day<br>And November said goodbye  
>Rest angel, rest<br>Rest angel, rest

I took a deep breath when I was done. My face was tear stained once again, but at least this time I was not alone because my husband was silently crying next to me. I raised the urn and gave it a small kiss, whispering how much I loved her and telling her that it wasn't a goodbye, I knew well enough that she would always be around me. I stood up getting closer to the cliff before opening the urn and letting her ashes fly away.

She was free at last.

"Come on" said James in a low voice, he took my hand as we began walking back. I opened my mouth to speak when I heard my phone start ringing. I grimaced thinking that the Diamonds might start bugging me because James refused to pick up his phone; I took it out and I felt my insides get cold when I saw the caller ID.

Jett

"Answer him" said James standing next to me "Put it on speakers" I nodded numbly before following his instructions.

"_Hello Kenny! How´s the pretty boy treating you?_"

"What do you want Jett?" I spat hating the fact that he knew about James.

"_A little politeness might be good for a change_" he whined "_I told you I wanted another payment soon, and by soon I mean _now" I raised my gaze to meet James´, he was wearing a hard expression, clearly hating the caller.

That made both of us.

"Where?" asked my husband ignoring my please to keep quiet.

"_Jamesy! Hey! Kenny, why didn't you tell me that your dear fuck buddy was there with you?_" I felt my stomach churn.

"Leave him out of this Jett" I tried to put as much steel in my voice as I could.

"_No can´t do Kenny, I´m afraid, I´m going to ask you two to come and find me and give me my $5,000…_"

"You said $1000!" I fisted my hands.

"_Did I? Oh I´m sorry, I was mistaken_" I closed my eyes defeated feeling James´ hand grasping my own.

"Where do you want us to go?" I asked feeling like an eighty year old again. I was completely tired of this.

"_The little alley where we used to meet, near downtown_" he spoke "_I won´t wait more than an hour Kenny, you will be fast if you don't want me to shoot you when I see you_"

"We´ll be there" I hung up not waiting to hear his goodbye´s. My eyes kept sealed to the ground not getting the courage to see James, he was probably waiting for his chance to bail, to tell me that I was too much trouble and that he couldn't risk his life for me, when he had his family to take care.

"Stop with the pity party" he said instead prior wrapping me in his arms "We´ll go to the bank and then downtown, nothing will happen, we will be okay"

"I´m sorry…you don't have to do this" I tugged his shirt between my fingers.

"Of course I have to! You are the most important person in my life, I won´t let anybody take you away from me" he pushed me back "Let´s go"

The way to the bank was short –or maybe I was too distracted to notice the time- and before I knew it we were getting near the alley.

"Leave the car here…they don't need to see it" I whispered seeing him nod while he parked two blocks away. We got out and joined hands before walking there. First I saw nothing, but the second we got closer to the alley hoping to find Jett in there, we saw two other man…both of them armed.

"I´m sorry Kenny, but keeping track of lost souls like yours it´s taking a tool on business so I´m afraid I´m going to have to fix that right away…nothing personal, you know, Hawk´s orders" said this he let out his gun and pointed directly at my chest…

**:) Oh yes, next chapter: The End! Ohh! I´m so excited! **

**Thank you all for your reviews and faves! I´m so happy you like the story :D Sorry for the delay, this laptop keeps giving me trouble and my muse kind of flew away when school came back LOL**

**So, liked it? Loved it? Hated it? Review?**

**Take care!**

**P.S. Song used: A beautiful end by J.R. Richards**


	29. Chapter 28

CHAPTER 28 

Logan PoV 

"Stop worrying! Jeez!" screamed one of my interns making the rest of them laugh while my face tinted a light shade of red "Go and have fun with your hot chocolate piece of ass" she winked.  
>"Are you sure you can handle it?" I asked them halfheartedly. I was more than willing to get out of there and finally get my date with Carlos.<br>"For the hundredth time YES we can" they chorused and I was about to tell them how great they were when a pair of hands obscured my vision.  
>"Guess who?" my heart stopped recognizing that FEMALE voice.<br>Oh shit.  
>"Mom?" I squeaked as she moved around me with a huge smile on her face.<br>"Hey!" she threw herself at me going for a tight hug "It's been so long since I last saw you!"  
>"I-I know, what brings you here? Are you sick?" she grimaced moving away before stepping up to fix my tie –almost choking me- and my hair –I tried not to wince when she almost pushed it all the way down-.<br>"Do I need to be sick to visit my _successful _son?" she put her hands on her hips not amused by my lack of reaction, but really, this was the worst possible moment.  
>"Humm" I mumbled trying not to panic when I saw my dear boyfriend wave from the entrance door.<br>"Hortence?" I flinched when she called me by my real name "Who is that?"  
>"That would be Carlos..." I said when he came to stand beside me giving my mother a thoughtful look "Carlos, this is my mom" he widened his eyes prior sounding his throat and raising his hand for a handshake.<br>"A pleasure to meet you Mrs. Mitchell" he greeted politely.

"Hello, are you a co-worker?" she spoke accepting his handshake.

"No, I´m…a friend" he shrugged and I felt a little stab in my chest hating the fact that we had to lie about our relationship…even after he had _kind of_ dropped the L word not too long ago.

Yeah I was still working on that myself.

"He lives with James, we met there and now we were going to get some lunch" I scratched the back of my head hoping that my mother wouldn´t make a lot of questions.

"Oh, well…" she looked at me unsure, probably waiting for me to ditch him for her.

"Uhm…" I swallowed feeling like a deer in headlights.

"You should join us" I gaped at Carlos when I heard him speak.

No, no!

"Oh…that would be…nice" she gave me a sideways look letting me know that she was just being polite to this stranger that dared to treat her like a guest and not the host of the party "Come on son, lead the way" she said taking my arm and dragging me outside while I threw a panicked look to Carlos.

This was not going to end well.

"It´s okay" he mouthed raising his shoulders. I sighed hating the fact that we still couldn't get around having our first date and that my mom was silently fuming next to me.

"We were thinking about going to a small restaurant a block from here, is that okay?" I asked my mother trying to amend the situation.

"Sure honey" she looked back with a strained smile "So, Carlos, are you from here or…" she trailed letting the other option hang…totally showing her opinion on the matter.

"I came here with my dad when I was a teen, right now Logan´s helping me to get my citizenship" he smiled completely unaffected about her attitude.

"I don't think you should be doing that Hortence" she turned to look at me sternly.

"Hortence?" repeated my amused boyfriend.

"Why not? And it´s my pile name, which I hate and my mother refuses to quit using" I explained seeing the restaurant not too far away, I needed this thing to be over as soon as possible, my mother didn't seem in an open minded mood and things could get ugly if she kept like that.

"It´s cute" shrugged Carlos making me blush…and my mother totally raised her eyebrow at this.

Someone Kill me please!

"You didn't answer me" I spoke to my mother trying to get her attention elsewhere.

"You are a very busy doctor, you can´t lose time in meaningless things" I clenched my jaw hating the fact that I couldn't tell her how meaningful that test was to both of us.

"He´s my friend and I like to help him" I ended up saying trying not to look at Carlos.

"Well I least I hope that you pass that test young man; don't you dare waste his time" she said to my wide eyed boyfriend.

"Mom, don't be like that, I offered" I grimaced as we walked inside the restaurant and I opened the door for her. I raised my eyes looking for those black orbs hoping for some strength to keep me going without screaming at her to stop trying to control my life…apparently a lot had changed inside of since the last time I saw her. I sighed just when Carlos´s gaze found mine and winked at me, like he was telling me that things would be fine.

"Okay, what to eat, what to eat" she said once we were seated at the table "Son, remember that you shouldn't eat much if you don't want to get gas, also you´re looking nice but don't you dare break your diet, we don't need chubby doctors"

Carlos PoV

I tried not to smile at Logan after hearing her mother speak and seeing him completely blushed. I had to say that the woman was scary and controlling, but she cared about Logan so I guessed that made her okay. And every mom had the right to be a little of a control freak about their sons life, right?

"I´m sorry" Logan mouthed looking at me with his huge brown eyes. I shrugged, there was nothing he could do about it, mom was mom weather we liked it or not.

"We´ll take the Ceasar´s salad" she spoke as the waitress stepped in front of the table. I raised my eyebrow at this, normally Logan had something to say to most of the things, always having an opinion or some scientific argument to back his words…but right now he was just looking down and the only sign of his discomfort was the redness of his skin while his mom took over everything around him.

"I want the bacon-cheese burger" I ordered looking at him with narrowed eyes. That was the original reason we decided to have lunch there, those burgers were heavenly…I just hoped he could stand up to his mother and order what he really wanted, that could at least give me hope to believe that one day we could be open about our relationship with her.

"Do you know how unhealthy that is?" squeaked the woman looking at me like I had grown a second head "I swear son, if you get this kind of eating habits you will lose a lot of what we have worked for, your _friend _should understand that and not temp you… with James was more than enough to have me worried but now you have more! I thought I raised you better than…" she looked at me up and down "…this"

Ouch.

And where the fuck had that even come from?

"I remember Logan telling me that you were working or moping most of the time, so by any means, he raised himself and did one hell of a job about it" I smiled at the woman. How could anyone speak like that? No wonder Logan had been such an uptight ass at the beginning.

And now I knew how much of a bad influence James truly was, my mother would be ashamed of me for speaking to an elder woman like that…or she would probably be cheering for me to put her in her place.

"Hortence! Are you going to let him speak to me like that?" She turned to Logan whom had his eyes on the waitress.

"I want a burger" he sighed making my heart leap.

"Coming right up" the waitress nodded and left leaving us with a fuming woman.

"What is wrong with you? I knew it! You shouldn't live so far from home! First you don't call me, then you break up with Camille and move with that crazy good for nothing friend of yours! I had to come all the way here to speak to you and see you! What were you thinking? What is going on Hortence? You don't waste your life like that!" I had to close my mouth at the end of her rant. She had just done a complete one eighty, apparently that woman didn't need much air in her lungs to chastise her son or much chit-chat to get to her point.

"How did you find out about Camille?" spoke Logan slowly raising his eyes to meet mine before turning to look at his mother.

"She called me about a month ago, a month! How is that you couldn't pick up the phone and tell me that you had broken up with your fiancée? She called me crying, asking me to tell you that she loved you and she would take you back, that she had forgiven you! How could you let a girl like that go?"

"I-I think I should go" I spoke starting to get up "You should speak about this on your own"

"No" Logan´s hand shot up to grab my sleeve "Stay" I bit my lip seeing his hardened features, he was mad, really mad.

"Are you sure?" I asked sitting down having the feeling that something mayor was about to happen.

"Yes" he almost whispered moving his hand to put it around mine "Why did you come until now?" his mother was looking at us with her eyes narrowed.

"Because I don't like to pry into your life…" a dry chuckle interrupted her.

"Not prying?" Logan spoke still having that sardonic smile on his face "Everything you do is prying mom, you always try to control me, that´s the reason I came here, after college I couldn't wait any longer to get away from you" I winced thinking that he was being a little too harsh.

"Hortence…"

"Yes I love you mom, yes I love being a Doctor, but I hate that you don't know me! I hate that you see this perfect son every time you see me, because that´s not me…not even close!" he closed his eyes "I dumped Camille because she cheated on me, because I didn't love her, I´m not even sure if I ever did…I was with her just because you liked her and because it was safe and predictable" he huffed "Even_ fucking_ was boring"

Was it wrong that I was totally turned on by him stepping up to his mom like that? Yeah…my cock didn't seem to care.

"She said that you had been the one guilty of it…she said that you spent too much time in the hospital and never saw her" her voice was hard "And yet, here you are, having lunch with a friend…I´m not surprised that she did what she did, one can do stupid things when is lonely"

"…what are you saying?" he narrowed his eyes "Are you saying that the fact that I found her fucking another dude in our bed was _my_ fault?" his hand grasped my hard enough to cause me pain but I didn't exactly feel it because I was too busy trying not to snap at that woman.

"She loves you; she wouldn't do that if it wasn't for a reason"

"Can you put that to go?" inquired Logan seeing the waitress walk in with our plates "Just put the salad away from the burgers"

"…Sure" she frowned walking back.

"What are you doing?" asked Mrs. Mitchell.

"Mom, first of all…I´m bi, I like girls but I love cock" my jaw hit the floor, damn my pants were tight "Second, I hate when you speak about James like that, he´s a successful CEO, he´s not an idiot and he´s the main reason I´m happy right now…and third, I help Carlos because I love him and I want him here with me" my heart stopped beating right there.

He said he loved me.

He fucking loved me!

"Camille is a bitch but I don't care about her because I´m happy with my boyfriend, the happiest I´ve ever been actually, so please mom, I love you, I really do, but it´s time for you to know the real me" he stood up "If you want to meet me, I´ll be available but know that if you start this shit again I will leave…and yes sex with Carlos is definitely not boring" said this he took the bag from one stunned waitress, paid for the burgers and pulled me out of the restaurant.

"Can I fuck you now? Please?" I said spinning him so he was facing me. He chuckled before hugging me letting me notice how badly he was shaking "How are you?"

"Freaking out…all my life I did what she expected of me and just hearing you ask for that burger…it was like something broke inside of me and I couldn't stop myself…fucking wow" we chuckled just before an ambulance rushed through the street and two seconds later Logan´s beeper beeped.

"Time to save lives baby" I grinned taking his hand and running with him to the hospital arriving just after the ambulance parked…and a bloody Kendall walked out of it.

Kendall PoV

I looked at the wall in front of me feeling numb. I took a shaky breath lowering my gaze to my red stained hands seeing them tremble while my sight wavered and my insides revolted inside of me.

This was James´ blood.

James had been shot.

He had saved my life and now he was dying in the ER.

I whimpered clenching my eyes feeling more tears running through my face as I felt an arm circling my back. How could Carlos be there with me when I was the one guilty of bringing James to his death? I hated myself. I hated what I had done with my life. I hated that I had been weak, giving into my own selfishness without any regard of the consequences. I had known it was dangerous, I had known it was not safe, but I hadn´t cared, I had acted on impulse not listening to my gut.

This was all my fault.

"Calm down man, Logan will fix him" whispered Carlos at my side. We were currently in the waiting room, sitting on the floor after I had collapsed in there not having strength to even make it to the benches.

"This is my fault" I managed to say passing my hand through my face trying to clean my tears.

"It was a burglar; it wasn't anybody's fault…"

"No" I sobbed pushing the heels of my hands into my eyes "It was not a thief…he was after me…he wanted to kill _m-me_" Carlos froze at my side before looking around; the only people there were the Diamonds a couple of nurses at the other side of the room. Luckily Mr. Diamond had managed the media and the police and had been able to keep them away from us.

I was sure he was throwing me to jail when all of this was done.

"Are you sure?" he asked keeping his voice low.

"I´m not a good person Carlos" I looked at the ceiling feeling completely drained "I put him in danger, I´m a thief, I´ve even stolen from James…he-he knew that and…fuck, I was supposed to keep him safe" I grasped my hair pulling my legs closer to my body suddenly feeling really cold.

"You are not bad Kendall" Carlos´ voice made me turn to him. His eyes were stern and filled with resolve "Maybe you had it hard and made some bad choices, but you are_ not_ evil. You are kind and strong and that´s why James loves you!" I blinked stunned by his sudden fervor "Thanks to you I had the guts to make my relationship work…and I haven't even spoken about of James. He might tell you differently, but his life was not perfect. Before you got here he was unhappy, he was shallow and miserable. You came here and filled him with emotions, tons of them, good and bad, you made him understand that he was lonely and bitter" he let out a breath "You gave me and Logan, our friend back. Over the years he became this cold and plastic person…destroying marriages without a second thought, working the whole day every day, whoring around without any care because he couldn't find that place where he felt happy and free, the place where he could just _be_. I honestly thought that it was better if I went back to Mexico because I didn't feel our friendship anymore, but you gave it back to me, you made him happy for the first time…so stop with the pity party and have hope that James will be okay and that we will be good again because he won´t let all that go to waste!" I shook my head refusing to believe in that while James battled for his life in the next room.

"I need him to be okay" I whispered closing my eyes letting my mind drift a couple of hours back.

_I winced when my body clashed against the wall while my mind chanted the same words over and over again..._

No, please not him.

_The second I felt a dead weight above mine my heart stopped…I opened my eyes just to see Jett walking to us with a somber expression. Feeling my blood boil I hugged James trying to keep him away from Jett._

"_What else do you want?" I barked not caring about what could happen to me; James was barely breathing next to me, I couldn't even think of living without him._

"_Look around Kenny" I frowned at the softness of his voice before letting my eyes travel around the alley._

_The smiley guy was a bloody mess on the ground._

"_You couldn't just kill one, could you?" I spoke with a hoarse voice._

"_This was our plan all along…" I jolted hearing James´ halted voice. I moved seeing his watery eyes gazing at me while he tried to get himself upright._

"_Don´t move" I commanded him shifting so he could rest his upper body in mine as I took away my hoodie and put it on his bloodied side. I closed my eyes taking deep breaths trying hard not to give into my body and puke …or faint, whichever came first._

"_I never liked going after you Kenny" Jett spoke pulling my attention back to him just as I saw the other man drag the body to the trunk of their car "I asked James if he was willing to give anything for you, he said yes" Jett shrugged before kneeling next to me a putting his hand in my cheek while I was feeling too stunned to move away "Hawk never knew how you looked, I made sure of that, I just needed a distraction and a body to get you off his radar" he gave me a small sad smile "This is the last time we´ll see each other. Have a good life Kenny, let James to take care of you and you take care of him" said this he caressed my cheek before he stood up and walked away while we heard the ambulance nearby "Kendall Knight is dead, better start using your new legal name Kenny!" he screamed before getting inside his car and driving away leaving me trembling and looking at my husband._

"_I-It´s gonna be okay" he managed to say while his eyes battled to stay open._

"_Stay with me…" I whispered shaking him slightly and kissing his sweaty forehead "James! Don't you dare leave me!" he gave me a weak smile before falling limp in my arms. I just sat there listening to the sirens trying to grasp what Jett had just told me. James had willingly planned this; he had put his life at risk just to get me away from Hawk…just to set me free._

"You´re such an idiot" I spoke looking at the doors dying to get in there and see my husband, slap him in the face for being such an idiot and then kiss him for that same reason.

"I met Logan´s mom today" I blinked hearing Carlos.

"I thought you guys were having your big date today" I moved to look at him. His sad expression was momentarily replaced by a small bitter smile.

"Yeah…we were, until his mom decided to drop at the hospital and get between us" he huffed "She´s the bossiest woman I have ever met…She expects Logan to do what she says, no buts and no nothing" he smiled "But he kind of stood up to her"

"I bet she didn't like that" I commented fully knowing that this was Carlos´ way to get my mind of things, other´s people´s problems were a lot less stressing than my own.

"Not one bit…but I´m sure no mom would be truly happy hearing his son say that he loves cock…specially mine" he grinned while his eyes drifted to the ER doors with a wishful gleam.

"Wow" I managed a small smile for his sake "Logan has guts" Carlos nodded just as a shadow was cast before us. I looked up only to see Mr. Diamond.

"Can I talk to Kendall alone?" he asked with an unreadable expression on his face. Carlos turned to look at me for confirmation before I gave him a small nod knowing that I had to face the man sooner or later. I moved to get up but the man raised his hand and waited for Carlos to get up before he sat beside me "Brook found a video in the security footage…a video of her room" I felt my face heat at the memory of what had happened in that room "You stole her jewelry"

"A pearl necklace" I told him seeing his eyes widen at my affirmation. What good came out of lying if James already knew all about it?

"You were supposed to say that you had no idea of what was I talking about" he groaned passing his hand through his forehead "She wants to use that against your marriage and get the inheritance…not to mention that given the recent events, the jury might believe her that you are in deep shit and that that´s the only reason why you married James" I grimaced.

"James already knows that, he knows everything…he also knows that it´s all over" I shrugged "We are married and we love each other, we will think of something but right now I´m just hoping he gets out of this" I kept my gaze at the doors holding the urge to scream at them to hurry the fuck up and give me some news.

"He will get out of it, he´s a strong one" the man said after a while "And well, she said that she would release the video so the moment James decides to show you to world they would be all against you"

"Like we give a fuck about what they think" I turned to him "You know I love your grandson, and now it´s our change to get things right, I´m not about to let some bitch take my happy ending with him"

"I´m happy to hear that" he gave me a found smile "He chose well…and apparently he fought just as well" his eyes turned to the doors and I didn't lose time turning around only to see a smiling Logan.

"He will be fine" he sighed just before Carlos´ body was collapsing against his. I closed my eyes letting my head rest against the wall feeling like something had been lifted from my chest. He was going to be fine, we were going to be fine "He will be awake soon but only one can visit for now" Logan explained looking at me. I bit my lip turning to Mr. Diamond.

"You are his husband" he nodded as he got up and offered me his hand.

"Thank you" I said once I was up and following Logan to the room feeling my heart beat wildly in my chest.

I opened the door to his room and walked inside having a terrible sense of deja'vú after so many years of seeing my mother in that same state. I took a stuttering breath before my eyes landed on his form instantly feeling like I could breathe again because he looked _fine_, maybe a little pale but that was it. He was alive and well. I sniffed holding back my tears prior walking to sit next to the bed taking his hand between mine just being happy with hearing his soft breathing and waiting for him to wake up.

James PoV

Fucking shit…everything fucking hurt.

That was the first thought that travelled to my mind while I began to feel aware of my body. My side felt like it was on fire, maybe a lot duller than before but still painful; my limbs felt heavy and drowsy making it difficult to get a grasp of my surroundings. I moaned frustrated with this, I needed to know where I was, I needed to see if Jett had taken our agreement by the line.

_Kendall_

I needed to see him, to explain and to hope that he hadn´t run away thinking that this had happened because of me. I couldn't live thinking that my actions had caused that. We had agreed that it was better to get thought things as a team…or I had sort of told him that that was how things were going to be from then on, but the same principal stood and he sure as hell got that because being shot wasn't fun, so he might as well make it worth it.

"James?" I let out a breath hearing his voice drift through my thoughts…he was there "Come on, open your eyes" I took a deep breath urging my brain to remember how to move my eyelids and before I knew it, my eyes were open and being blinded by the light in the room.

"…lights" I groaned closing them again and not two seconds later I heard some movement before the redness behind my eyelids subsided telling me that he had turned the lights off.

"Done" he whispered taking my hand between his. This time I was able to see his teary face after a couple of blinks. His eyes were blood shot and teary, his cheeks were stained and his hair disheveled…even with all that he looked so beautiful that my heart ached.

"Hey" I whispered marveling in the fact that he was still there with me.

"Hey?" he frowned. That was not the kind of expression I wanted in him, like ever "That´s all you can say?"

"Hum…good night?" I frowned seeing him roll his eyes prior letting his forehead rest against my shoulder.

"You are such an idiot" I noticed a small hitch in his voice as he spoke against my body "Don't you ever, _ever_ do something like this to me again"

"I cant´s promise that" I told him while his grasp hardened "I would do it a thousand times more if it was needed to save you" he shook his head just as I noticed some wetness gathering in the fabric beneath his face.

"…I can´t lose you" his body shook with a sob.

"You won´t, because even if I would do it again, we just needed to do it once to get it over with…because it´s over love, you are finally free" he stopped moving, I could even think that for a second he even stopped breathing.

"…I´m free" he spoke rising his head and giving me a front row sit to the most amazing and beautiful expression I had ever seen. His eyes were still shiny, but this time there was so much emotion behind those emerald orbs that I felt my own eyes sting. His lips were trembling while they moved to form a beaming smile letting out a breathless chuckle before he practically leaped to kiss me with all his might.

After being pushed around most of our lives, living like a shell of what we could be. After clenching our teeth bearing every punch life threw at us, trying to break us apart, we had finally found peace in each other. We had found family, friends and love.

Life was turning the coins, giving us back something after a lifetime of suffering. And while we knew that our lives wouldn't be perfect, we knew that we could overcome everything because even if Karma was still a bitch, it was a fair one, and we had finally earned some of the good stuff.

THE END

**Yes, there will be an epilogue :) **

**Okay! First of all, thank you! Thank you! Thank you, you awesome people for reviewing, following, faving and reading this story :D I love you all so much!**

**Second, well I would like to apologize for my awful updating time but my laptop died, and then there was the independence day, and school and my birthday and some awful writers block…so yeah, I´m just glad this is done xD**

**And third, as some of you might already know, I´m already planning a next fic, it will be called BusBoy and I will update it as a Cargan (yes it has Kames and a split "screen time" with both slashes) and for this story I need you guys to tell me what you prefer about this:**

**Top!Logan / Bottom!Carlos or Bottom!Logan / Top!Carlos**

**Top!Kendall / Bottom!James or Top!James/Bottom!Kendall**

**Your choice people!**

**So, did you like this? Love it? Hated it? Review!**

**And yes, the epilogue will be filled with smut ;)**

**Take care!**


	30. Epilogue pt 1

EPILOGUE PT 1

Logan PoV

I bit my fist.

He was insane. He couldn't be doing that to me! I hated him! I hated him so freaking much!

Fucking Carlos!

With his big mouth

And callous hands

And huge cock…

"Oh God, you´re insane." I panted as I felt him slide in and out of me with agonizing slowness. This was so wrong; we shouldn't be doing this, not when his whole fucking family was at the other side of the door having breakfast.

"Don't you think it´s hot?" He whispered against my ear, his hot breath giving me goosebumps while a shiver ran down my spine.

It was freaking amazing. I moaned pushing my forehead to the bed refusing to answer. Even if I couldn't see him behind my back, I could almost feel his smug smile. Fucker, he knew what he could do to me when his cock was inside of me.

His hot, huge and heavenly dick, stretching me just like his tongue had done not too long ago.

"Faster." I told him pushing my ass to him until his hands stopped any movement. "Come on…fuck I hate you." He let out a breathless laugh before he began going even slower, turning everything into a delicious torture.

It got even worse when his hands pushed my legs further apart, found my leaking dick and began massaging it, taking the same rhythm as his thrusts making me see stars. "Too bad you hate me, because I love you." He spoke against my skin leaving small bites around my spine.

"Then fuck me they way I know you want to, make me scream, let your family know that I´m the one getting it in the ass…" And that must´ve been the right thing to say, because he glided his hands through my back and arms until they intertwined with mine and made me grab the headboard.

And then he fucked me like it was the last time he could do it.

I tried biting my lip, using my fist and pressing my teeth together to stop myself from making much sound, but it had been a week since we had fucked for the last time and it felt too fucking good to even try to stop myself. Even if we had agreed that it could be too awkward to do it in his parents' house.

Well, apparently nothing could win against his libido.

"Yes, say my name, scream for me…"

"Carlos…oh my God!" I would love to say that I had felt embarrassed by that scream, but having him hitting my prostate like a pro, I couldn't care less if his mom heard us, not as long as he kept doing just that. "I-I´m…I´m gonna…"

"Come for me." He demanded in a husky voice, I couldn't do anything other than obey. My vision turned white as my seed shot through the covers so hard that I might have actually fainted for a couple of seconds. He reached his climax not long after me, marking me with this cum and letting his body fall above mine.

I loved having him on top of me a little bit too much.

"I love you." I whispered with my eyes closed smiting when he pecked my shoulder with his lips.

"And I love you, so much that sometimes I´m scared to wake up and find that this is all a dream and I´m still the same stupid labor boy that I was before." Frowning, I tried to move to see him but he pushed my back keeping me in place.

"I want to look at you." I protested.

"If you do I will want to kiss you, and if I kiss you I will fuck you…right now I want to say some things before I do."

"Fine, I´m listening."

"I´m at my mother´s house. I´m studying high school. I´m the happiest that I have ever been…and it´s all thanks to you, so let me tell you how much I thank God for giving me the guts to talk to you, the courage to kiss you that first time…I´m so happy that I have you." I felt my chest burst with the most beautiful feeling in the world and before he could do anything, I turned around and kissed him with everything I had.

"I love you, I love you, I love you." I told him like a mantra as I hugged him close to me. "I love you because you are not an idiot, you are really smart. I love you because you are sweet and kind. I love you because you love your family. I love you because you love me, the guy that was a total jerk to you and you manage to make me a puddle of goo under your hands. I love you for being there when I stood up to my mother…and for so much more." I kissed him slowly, thinking that I could be here for the rest of my life.

"If you are done fucking and tormenting the family with your noise, you are more than welcome to come and have breakfast!" Someone yelled from the other side of the door making us stop. I turned a surprisingly dark shade of red not having any idea of what to do now that I had to face them. "And take a shower before you come! And by _come_ I mean to _come here to eat _not to come…you know, _come_."

Oh God why?

**Hahaha Well some people have been asking me for this epilogue for ages, but the Kames has been giving me some trouble, so I give you the first part of the epilogue, I hope you liked it! :D**

**Review!**


	31. Epilogue pt 2

EPILOGUE

James PoV

"Are you ready?" I asked my husband while I felt his hand clench mine. I turned my eyes away from the car´s window to look at him.

He looked terrified.

Kendall took a deep breath before giving me a tight smile. "I know that I asked for this, but damn I feel like they´re going to eat me." I moved a little to look at the sea of people surrounding the red carpet. It was an award event from a business magazine and I was nominated for a humanitarian award thanks to a big donation that I had made for people with Cancer in Mrs. Knight´s name, it was the least I could do to thank her for trusting me with the most precious thing in her –and my- life.

Things were going pretty great for us, the only thing that had stained our little happily ever after, was the fact that I hadn´t been able to present Kendall to the world because my crazy step mother had made a lot trouble and it had been better to keep my single charade for the sake of things.

Kendall had not liked it one bit.

I smiled to myself as I remembered a night a week ago, the night that Kendall had finally blown and claimed me for himself.

"_I´m home!" I screamed once I was inside the door. No one answered so I figured that Katie was out with my grandparents and Kendall hadn´t arrived from school yet, which meant that I was all alone._

_Awesome._

_Huffing I took off my suit jacket and threw it on the closet before I walked to our bedroom wanting to change and sleep for a while before everybody arrived home. Except that someone had already thought about that._

_I raised my eyebrow seeing my husband peacefully asleep in our new bed wearing only his boxers. He was on my side of the bed, cuddling my pillow with a contempt look on his face. I smiled as I began taking away my tie ready to go and replace that pillow but I stopped when I heard him move. I turned seeing him completely sprawled out in the bed._

_Now that looked appetizing. _

_Grinning I crawled between his legs and trying not to wake him I ducked my face and gave him a butterfly kiss right where his heart was before I raised my eyes to his face. He was out cold, his face was serene and without any hint of worry. He looked so beautiful that I had to stop and rest my forehead into his chest being hit by a wave of emotions that I couldn't battle._

_A year ago I had been shot and had almost died for the man that was under me; the same man that had given a whole new meaning to my life and that had showed me what true devotion meant. The wound had been painful and it had taken a while to fully heal in order to let me live a normal life, luckily, it hadn´t left any kinds of complications, well except an ugly as hell scar that I hated, but that was besides the point. _

_So yeah, life was good but not perfect. And damn it if I didn't want it to be._

_I kissed his skin just as I felt a warm hand running though my hair. I smiled "Hey" I whispered moving to level my face with his. He was blinking fast, like he wanted to wake himself, wow he probably had been asleep for a while._

"_Hi." He passed a hand through his face pinching the bridge of his nose before…glaring at me._

_What the fuck?_

"_Is there a reason why you´re glaring at me?" I asked knowing that I hadn´t done nothing wrong._

"_I don't know, you tell me." _

"_Come on, that´s not fair!" He exhaled before pushing me and getting up from the bed. "Hey! No! Kendall, what´s wrong?" I saw him walk to the closet and two seconds after, there was a magazine flying to my face. I grabbed it only to see myself on the cover with a male model that I had taken to a party. "What?" I looked at the magazine and then at the closet not having any idea why was he so mad. "Love please, talk to me." I walked to the closed only to see him walking towards me with a dark look in his face…and before I knew it, I had my back pressed against the wall and my husband pushing his knee between my legs while he occupied himself by devouring my mouth._

_Now I was confused._

_And turned on_

…_but mostly confused._

_I moaned against his lips. There was something about him taking control like this that made me weak in the knees. It probably was the fact that I had never given up control and he was the only person that I trusted enough to give into….hum, Kendall ravishing me, now that sounded amazing. I opened my lips granting him entrance and control while my hands gripped his waist keeping him close to me. Sadly, he ended the kiss before it got even more heated, leaving his cheek pressed to mine while our breathing calmed down._

"_Explain." I demanded in a low voice._

"_You are mine." He growled making me shudder. Yes, I definitely was and I loved how far he had come if he could say that to my face without feeling awkward about it. "And I´m sick of not being able to scream it to the world, of seeing fucking models in my place, of having to share you…" he pulled away letting me see his dark green eyes. "I´m going to fuck you, to let you know whom you belong to, and then I´m going to tell the world that you are taken and I´m not planning on letting you go, ever."_

_Holly shit._

Kendall PoV

I swallowed feeling my throat dry. I should be a little bit drunk for this; I had no idea how James managed to do this kinds of things every time…well he did have a taste for fame and highlights after all, so that was why he could do it.

"Is it too late to leave?" I asked him seeing the sea of people getting closer each passing minute. He chuckled looking at me with a dark gleam inside his eyes. "What…are you thinking?"

"I´m just remembering some stuff." He spoke cryptically making me raise my eyebrow.

"Okay…"

"Like what it feels to have you inside of me telling me that I´m yours with every breath…" And that totally didn't go to my pants. "And promising me that you wanted the world to know it, what happened to all that?"

I sighed remembering that night. I had no idea what had come over me, I just knew that I was fucking tired of seeing other faceless men in my place, of seeing the tabloids wonder if one of those guys was the new Mr. Diamond, of seeing my husband smiling with them only because he wanted to protect me from the media. No matter the reasons that had driven me to that, I couldn't regret doing it, not for one bit.

_He was breathing hard looking at me with a mixture of love and nervousness. He looked so vulnerable and different from the man that I was used to. I felt my heart beat faster with each second that I got to see him like that because I knew that he hadn´t let anyone see him like this, ever. _

"_I can´t believe that I can get your virginity." I spoke against his lips getting a breathy chuckle in return._

"_It´s only fair being that I took yours." He hissed as I added a second finger inside of him. _

"_God, you feel so good." I panted imagining all that warmth around my dick. "I want to be inside of you so bad." I moved leaving a trail of kisses through his chest as I moved my fingers trying to find his prostrate._

"_Oh my God!" He almost jumped from the bed once I did. I chuckled seeing his biased expression while my fingers abused the small bulge. _

"_You like that?" _

"_More than I should." He bended his spine giving me a long moan. "Just…Kendall …shit…" _

"_James…" I breathed unable to stop looking at him. He looked so beautiful it hurt. His hair was messed up and sweaty, his skin gleaming, his eyes dark and his chiseled body moving with each breath, all of this while he demanded me to be inside of him._

_Why hadn´t I done this sooner?_

"_Stop the prep, just do it now." He rested on his elbow to grab my face and give me a passionate kiss. "Fuck me."_

_And I lost it. I only gave myself enough time to move away my fingers before I was getting inside of him. I wasn't sure but I could swear that a primitive groan left my throat the second his velvety heat surrounded me. I saw his head roll back with a strained yell while his hands grasped my shoulders. I kept pushing until I my balls touched him, just then, a shiver ran down my spine. I was completely inside of him, filling him like no one had ever done before._

"_God, I love you so much." I told him looking at his face, he was wearing a weird expression, I could still see traces of pain: the small droplets of salty water that surrounded his lashes, the small frown in his forehead. But I also saw a wave of warmth inside his eyes that told me that he was thinking the same things that I was and he liked it as much as I did._

"_And I love you." He gave me a shaky smile. "Come on, I can take it." I kissed his jaw while I pulled back my hips a little bit and then I pushed forward. I continued that slow phase until I only saw pleasure in his expression. Then, I gave him all I had._

James PoV

"I´m right here…just a little frighten" He smiled lifting our linked hands to give a small kiss to mine. "But believe me when I say that I´m ready to kiss you in front of cameras and let them see this little thing." He made a show of our rings.

"That will get them something to talk about…it will be hell for some weeks you know."

"I know hell, and having a bunch of reporters following me around is not it." I felt my heart clench at his words, they were true but that didn't mean that I hated them any less.

"Have I told you lately how much I love you? How much I admire you?" I cupped his face with my hand and pulled his lips to mine.

_Having him inside of me, feeling his beating member buried in me while his hands clasped my aching erection was the most amazing feeling I had ever experienced. I gasped when his tip found that wonderful spot inside of me and hit it repeatedly making my whole body shake. I felt my muscles contract knowing that I was close. He took my hands pushing them above my head, I looked at him, his green eyes shining, his golden hair shining, his flustered skin…damn, how could he even think that he was not the sexyest person in the world? _

"_You are mine." He fucking growled those words in a throaty voice that went right through me._

"_Yes…" I panted surprised that I could still speak coherently. "I-I…SHIT!" I yelled feeling my orgasm shake everything in me, just before I felt his hot seed shoot inside of me and hearing his words in my mind again and again._

_Mine._

The limo finally arrived to the end of the line, right in front of the red carpet. I didn't want to look like I was, but I actually was just as nervous as Kendall, I had no idea how people would react but I trusted that once they saw a little more of him, they would love him as much as I did.

"Carlos and Logan send their love; Carlos says that they have something pretty funny to tell us when they come back." Kendall told me while seeing his phone with a small smile on his face.

"Ready?" I looked inside his eyes, I knew that if he so much as implied that he really didn't want to do this, I would make the limo go away in a second, but he took a deep breath and gave me a strong nod.

I opened the door and got out starting a wave of flashes and screams all around us. I raised my hand, with my wedding ring shinning bright, and pulled him out of the Limo. The second one of the reporters said the word ring, everybody was screaming and pushing to get a better shot of him.

"Who´s the date James?"

"James! Over here!"

"James, is that a wedding ring?"

"Hey blondie, what´s your name?"

"First of all!" I started raising my voice and suddenly all the reporters were quiet, wow they really wanted a story. "He doesn't like to be called blondie, he punched me when I did it." That got me some chuckles including some from my husband. "True story!"

"And second" Kendall spoke in a calm and strong voice getting everyone´s attention right away "My name is Kendall Diamond and yes, I´m his husband and we´ve been married for a little more than a year." And he grabbed me and began to kiss the guts out of me.

And everybody went nuts.

THE END

**Humm this was a freaking pain in the backside! Really! Ugh! I have the Kames from Karma and the Kames from Busboy in my mind and it was soo hard to get in tune with Karma again pff**

**Now it´s over, finally xD Again thank you all for the all the love you have given to this fic, thanks soo much! I love you so much people!**

**Take care and sorry for the lack of updates, working is sucking my soul away! Hehe what we do for some good money LOL**

**So, did you like it? Hated it? Loved it?**

**Review!**


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